[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't look up as Tony unwrapped his arms. Stepping back when the man pointed a finger at him and told him he wasn't allowed to say such things. He felt his own anger flare up at that. "How was I to know that would happen! You didn't even give me a real chance to discuss it when you asked me to kill you!" Loki exclaimed frustrated. "I'm sorry I lied to you, it wasn't right. I did what I thought I had to though, to keep you and everyone else safe." he argued.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony was a little surprised at having his request thrown back at him, but he shook it off quickly. “That is under completely different circumstances. And you can always discuss these things with me Loki, even if I’m not happy about what you have to say. You’re just scared of confrontation. I’m sorry, but arguing and disagreeing is a part of life. It’s a part of trying to be with someone!” he snapped. “And you know what, maybe you’re right, maybe some new line of defense is needed, but you shouldn’t be so stupid as to think you can make it all on your own, mess with things that you have no knowledge of.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki's brow furrowed when the man accused him of being scared of confrontation. It was hard to argue or disagree when you got shut down often throughout ones whole life. He was going to argue back when the man stated that perhaps a new line of defense was necessary. He was thrown off by that until the man accused him of being stupid enough to do something he didn't know it. "What else I was I supposed to do? I can not convince you to believe that you have magic therefore I could not get past your magic." Loki argued exasperated. "I did not have anything else to work with."  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony let out an exasperated sigh, hand pushing through his hair as he tried to figure out how to reply. Before he could come up with something, Frigga spoke. “That is where you should have come to me dear…..I know you’re grown and don’t want to turn to your mother with all the problems you’re having with your partner, but I could’ve shown him, could’ve proved the existence of his magic. Hela and I convinced him of it while you were unconscious.” She said calmly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to his mother startled when she spoke almost as if he had forgotten everyone was there. His cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. "You were busy and I did not think on it at the time." Loki admitted softly. He was surprised to hear that Tony had been finally convinced that he had magic. Looking back to Tony to confirm such things. "You believe me now?" he questioned.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony glanced at Frigga when she spoke. When he had Loki looking at him again, Tony gave a small shrug. “More or less I suppose. Still confused.” He said slowly. Sure, they’d shown him his magic to the best of their abilities, but he still had a lot of questions and confusion.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki frowned when Tony shrugged and said that he more or less believed him. "So you do not really..." Loki stated with a sigh. He wanted to yell at Tony and explain that that was the reason he had a hard time with people. How was he supposed to believe them, trust them if they couldn't do the same for him. The only difference was that Tony had believed him for most things. Some had taken a bit of convincing but he had. Moving back to his bed he sat back down and stared at his hand.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony blinked at Loki's response. Swinging his legs off the bed as Loki backed off, Tony grumbled to himself before speaking up. "No....it means I have some things to learn and figure out. You forget, all I have to go off of with magic is you and the imaginations of authors and actors, whose version of magic even you made fun of. You know all about this stuff, have seen other people and and other versions. I haven't." He said, hand slicing through the air to add emphasis. "Sure, now I know that there is something in me, perhaps something that has influences a lot of what I've done. But I'm not going to be comfortable with it until I've figured out more about it, because guess what? It means that either it deserves all of the credit I've gained through the years, or I've been royally screwing up because I haven't really been using it when I should have." he said a bit slower. It hurt to think of either of those options. Maybe everything he'd accomplished hadn't all been because he was a genius, but because he was using magic. Or if he had been properly using it all this time, he might have been able to save and help so many people. "And you can't say I'm being stupid. You completely hated being Jotun until you started learning more about it, then you started becoming more comfortable."
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked up again when Tony spoke saying that he had to figure things out. He wanted to protest that he didn't know everything as his trip there had confirmed but wisely he let Tony continue to rant. "Magic is not supposed to harm its user unless it has been tainted..." Loki mumbled when Tony speculated on what his magic had done for him. "It does not deserve all the credit, your own intelligence helped you create everything. You magic has only seemed to be enhancing the capabilities of the devices." Loki stated more firmly. When Loki hating his Jotun form was brought up he stiffened. "I still hate it..." he stated softly. "I am trying to be more comfortable in it for you, but if I could I would banish it from me." he continued not looking up. Hela looked surprised at that but Loki continued. "I am trying to understand it because you wish me too because you are the first person to not think it monstrous." He didn't say what else he felt about it, about himself still. "I harmed you..." he almost whispered.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Pausing when Loki admitted to still hating his Jotun form, Tony tilted his head slightly. Listening to him, Tony suddenly felt bad. Slowly standing, he walked over to Loki. Carefully taking his hands, Tony gave them a little squeeze. “If you dislike it so much, then you don’t have to continue looking into it. You shouldn’t be doing something like this only because I want you to.” He said slowly. “And you aren’t monstrous, you never have been. I mean everyone in this tower has seen in this form, and not once has anyone thought that. They may have been surprised, but that is to be expected.” He continued, slowly bringing a hand up to trace a line on Loki’s forehead, down his temple and to his cheek, his touch clearly loving. Slowly tilting Loki’s chin up, he met his eyes calmly. “And you didn’t hurt me. I just got hurt. You didn’t want me to get hurt, I know that, it is not your fault.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Looking up to Tony as the man took his hands and gave them a squeeze. Shaking his head when the man said that he didn't have to continue looking into his Jotun form. It was part of him, a part he couldn't be rid of and as much as he didn't like it, it was useful and he needed to know about it. He didn't look around the room to confirm Tony's words, he trusted that Bruce didn't think he was monstrous and perhaps his family was used to it, Clint had been making jokes before but Tony's friend he knew not. As Tony traced a line across his forehead and down to his cheek the god shivered at the pleasant feeling. Allowing his chin to be lifted red eyes gazed up to brown hesitant. "It is my body that hurt you and my foolish actions." Loki claimed. "If I had not done all this you would not have felt the pain that comes from it."  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony couldn’t help the tiny smile that slid across his lips at Loki’s shiver. He loved being able to make Loki feel good, part of the reason behind why he was so curious about this form. “Well most of that I can’t argue with, but it still is not you who hurt me….It just happened. You didn’t want it to happen, I didn’t want it to happen, and y injury is my fault as well. I know that I should have taken a moment before touching you, I should’ve grabbed the gloves that were five feet away, but I didn’t.” he said slowly. “I am not upset about me getting hurt, so you shouldn’t be either. You shouldn’t carry that blame.” He said softly and after a moment’s thought, leaned down and gave Loki’s lips a light kiss, just to prove his point.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki still looked unsure as Tony continued to argue that he shouldn't blame himself for Tony getting hurt. He didn't blame Tony for getting hurt, he knew the man must have been scared seeing him laying... dead on the floor. If their positions had been reversed Loki was sure he would have panicked. Nodding when the man said he shouldn't be upset because he wasn't he breathed only to be a bit startled by the light kiss he was given. Relief was instant on Loki's face and he wrapped his arms around Tony's waist burying his head against his stomach. "I am sorry." he murmured his apology again.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony saw the relief in Loki's eyes as he pulled away, but he was surprised when he found Loki suddenly hugging him again after having spent the last few minutes not initiating any touch. Slowly letting his fingers run through Loki's hair, he sighed, relaxing into Loki's arms, letting himself appreciate that Loki was still alive and healthy. Finally relaxing the block on the bond, he let Loki in again. "I know...." he said softly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki shivered but didn't relax his grip around Tony as the man ran fingers through his hair. Feeling the block on the bond ease Loki felt even more relief and he flooded it with apologies and assurances that he would not do such a stupid thing again.

"That's it? I expected more yelling." Hela grumbled but she seemed happy that the two seemed resolved for the moment.