[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony smiled and led the way to the elevator and up to the penthouse, handling all the doors and buttons along the way so Loki could continue cradling the little kitten in his arms. Beginning to strip down and change into his pajamas, Tony watched Loki deal with the sleeping kitten out of the corner of his eye. The god really was so loving and gentle. It made him wish he could give Loki the family the god so obviously wanted, even if he wouldn't say it. "Lo...I know you were young when you had Sleepnir....or young for a god I suppose.....and I know you didn't know you could physically have kids until then....but did you want them before Sleepnir, want to adopt or take in a child or two with someone?" he asked slowly.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki followed Tony to the elevator happy to stand back as the man got them up to the penthouse. Loki put the kitten to bed when they arrived careful not to wake her even if she did wake a bit, she settled quickly. He turned back to Tony as the man spoke. "I was a barely a teen then, or what we consider such in Asgard. I wasn't sure of what I like yet I was merely trying to help with a situation when I had Sleepnir. However I did know that I wanted children. My mother likes to claim that I told her I wanted a lot of them when I was a mere child and that I was going to give her hundreds of grandchildren. Odin of course the first time he heard that put it to an end." Loki stated. "Yes though I have wanted them before Sleepnir." Loki stated. He didn't add that he had also wanted them everyday after, still wanted them even if he was scared of what would happen when Tony found out.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony nodded slightly at Loki’s words, slipping into bed and laying down, facing Loki. He felt bad for being in the way of Loki having children again. Tony’s protection gave Loki the best chance he had of having a normal life. Of having children and not having to lose them. Tony just couldn’t bring himself to put any kid through what he’d been through, still seeing himself falling into the role his father had filled. “If you could bring your children to live at the mansion, would you?” he asked slowly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki moved to sit on the bed beside Tony as the man contemplated what he had said. He wondered where the conversation was leading and dared to hope a bit even if he knew it was a false hope. When the man asked if he could would he bring his children to the mansion loki gave a sad smile. "I would, but even I know I can not hope for such things. Hela has her own obligations, Jormungandr I am sure loves the sea and Fenrir is all but lost to me. The only one I could hope for is sleepnir and he has lived in Asgard since his birth I feel it would be cruel to ask him to move down here." Loki sighed shaking his head.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“You know you can at least offer them a place to come visit with you now, even if they won’t stay. They won’t be kept away from you here.” Tony said slowly, moving closer as he saw the sad smile. Reaching out an arm to wrap around Loki, he bit his lip. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask this question, but he had to. “Do you still want it? Want a family?” he asked slowly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki nodded when Tony stated that he could at least offer them a place to stay when they visited. "I know you would not keep them from me and for that I am glad." Loki answered as wrapped an arm around him. He closed his feeling out the feeling of the life growing within him. Green eyes opened when the man spoke once more. "I have my family tony, my mother, brother, my children, our friends and of course I have you my love. I have a family and I am content." Loki explained in answer to the mans question.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony gave a small smile at the reply. They did have a family. A family neither of them had thought they’d have. “I’m glad you feel like that….” He said slowly, kissing his cheek. “But you know that is not what I’m asking.” He added softly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled when Tony stated that he was glad he felt such a way and kissed his cheek. He thought the matter dropped then only to have Tony prove him wrong in the mans next words. "Aye, I do know of what you ask but it is not something I would ask of you tony. I have a family I am happy with I should not want for more." Loki answered figetting gently.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony frowned at Loki’s words. “That makes you normal, there is nothing wrong with wanting more.” He said softly. Slowly taking one of Loki’s hands, he sighed. Lacing his fingers with the god, he was silent as he thought. “Do you remember me saying I could see myself marrying you one day, even though I had never thought of such things before? Maybe we can talk about having kids one day…..” he said slowly, looking at their hands and not Loki.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't argue when Tony told him there was nothing wrong with wanting more and that it merely made him normal. He didn't express his thoughts about how wanting more had always gotten him into trouble. Looking to the man as Tony took one of his hands and laced their fingers. He could sense Tony thinking and remained quiet to allow the man to do so. "I do." he responded nodding when Tony asked if he remembered the man stating that he could see them marrying one day. "One day..." Loki agreed when Tony said that maybe they could talk about kids one day. One day... one day was too far away having less than a year before there would be kids. One day might have been a thing but Loki also knew that it would depend on Tony eating an apple. A problem they had still not encountered yet.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Looking back to Loki at the lack of a real response, he frowned. “It’s just…..I don’t know how to deal with kids….how I’d be as a father. Sure, we have a family here, but it’s not the same as being a parent……And it’s not something that comes naturally to me. You are so caring and gentle, you were meant to have kids, and you have a great mother who you can go to when you don’t know what to do, you can try to follow her example……I don’t have the slightest clue……” he said softly.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"I know Tony, but even if you don't think you would be a great father I think you would. I know that your father was not great to you and the man that took over after your parents died betrayed you. However I think you would be better than the both of them merely because you do not wish to be like them." Loki contested. He ran his fingers over the back of the man's hand as he thought some more. "You say I am meant to have children because I am caring and gentle as if you imply that you are not. But I have seen you be such on many occasions. I watch you care for those around you including me and be gentle even when I know you want to yell. Yes I do have my mother around to help me but if we ever did have kids it would be the two of us doing such together, raising them together." Loki continued. He knew that if Tony ever consented to having a kid the man would go through all the research in the world to make sure he did everything right. Right now however Tony wasn't ready and Loki couldn't tell him. He decided then and there when he could no longer hide the pregnancy he would disappear and not make Tony deal with the burden of it. "Come now no more of this let us sleep." Loki beckoned.

(Hey is Halloween supposed to be the next day or the day after?)  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony looked up to Loki again as he spoke, saying he’d make a good father. He was still so confused as to how Loki could possibly see him as a good person when he was so far from it in his own mind. Hearing the comfort Loki offered, telling him they’d raise the child together, he nodded slightly. Perhaps Loki could teach him. Show him how to actually be a parent. Sighing as Loki seemed to dismiss the topic, Tony nodded and slowly wrapped his arm around Loki, pulling him close. “Just be patient with me Lo….” He said softly.

((The day after next. We were planning on having Steve and Loki go out shopping and bringing Betty in.))
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

(Okay I remember the shopping thing with Steve and Loki but I didn't remember Betty what were we doing for that?)

"I will give you as much time as you need." Loki stated moving to lay down with the man wrapping his arms around the man cuddling close. Closing his eyes Loki didn't go to sleep right away he let his thoughts run away with all the possibilities of the future, none of them seemed good. The more he thought about it the more he doubted there would be a good outcome and the more his stomach clenched uncomfortably.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony cuddled close, not comfortable without Loki close to him at this point. Kissing the god’s forehead, he nuzzled he closed his eyes and settled down, soon falling to sleep with his lover and mate safely in his arms. He didn’t wake until early in the morning, odd dreams waking him. Frowning as he was startled awake but found himself unable to remember his dream, he looked toward Loki, smiling when he saw Mischief curled near his head. It seemed the kitten would always end up in their bed before morning.

((Tony was bringing her in for dinner or something to surprise Bruce since he’s been so tense.))