[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony listened closely, staying close and wrapped around Loki. Hearing his words, he let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes. Holding Loki a little tighter, he pressed another kiss to the side of his head. “I missed you too. It…it as chaos without you.’ He said softly. “I need you here. I need you with me to focus, to be able to get by.” He admitted. Running his hand up and down Loki’s back and side, he began to place more and more soft kisses on what he could reach of Loki’s face. “I don’t ever want to be away from you like that again…..I’d follow you to Void to stay with you.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki was glad Tony didn't move away from him as he spoke or after he wasn't sure he could take any rejection at the moment. Hearing the shaky breath and the tighten grip Loki relaxed some as the kiss was pressed to the side of his head again. It was Tony's declaration of having missed him and having been chaos without that finally caused Loki to lift his head enough for red eyes to look at the genius. "I am the god of chaos." Loki tried to joke but his heart wasn't really in it. Hearing Tony proclaim that he needed Loki there, needed him with him to focus and to get by had the god nodding. "I won't leave, never again. Not of my own free will, I will fight to stay by you always until you no longer want me and even then I will hide in the shadows to stay near you." Loki promised before the man pressed soft kisses to his face. Tony's proclamation to follow him into the Void had the god pausing for a moment before pressing forward in a kiss. "I would never want you to do that ever, I never want to go back. But I would follow you there too."  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony managed a faint smile at Loki’s joke, but neither of them seemed to be much interested in humor at the moment. Accepting the kiss from Loki with no resistance, Tony could only nod in response to Loki’s words. Neither of them ever wanted to be stuck in the Void again. That cold, empty darkness was the stuff of both of their nightmares, but Tony didn’t doubt that they would brave it to stay together, to have a shot at staying happy. Slipping his hand from Loki’s hair, he instead cupped Loki’s cheek, fingers finding the familiar spaces between markings. “My Loki…” he murmured quietly, a fondness creeping into his voice as he looked over his mate. “Not letting you go ever again.” He whispered as he leaned in for a deep kiss, slow and sweet, but heavy as well, weighted with emotion.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki leaned into the hand that cupped his cheek, red eyes closing softly. "Yours..., always." Loki murmured in return reveling in the fondness he could hear creeping into the man's voice. Red eyes opened again when Tony said that he was never letting him go. "I don't want you to." he stated before he was involved in a deep kiss. The kiss slow and sweet but heavy too was everything he had desired since he had returned that he returned it with as much emotion as he could flood through the remaining bond.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony met Loki’s flood of emotions with his own, reveling in the ability to share and be close with each other like this again. Tony could understand why Jotuns faded should anything happen to their mate. Experiencing this type of closeness, only to have it torn away left such a hollow, lonely feeling. It wouldn’t take magic to destroy the Jotun. Pulling from the kiss when his lungs demanded it, Tony chose to trail kisses along Loki’s cheek and jaw instead. He felt like there was more to say, there was so much he wanted Loki to know, to hear, but he couldn’t put it into words, so he simply pressed his mind close to the god’s, looking for the closeness they’d enjoyed before.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki accepted the returning flood of emotion from tony having missed feeling what the man felt, knowing he was there. Feel it again was like finally being able to take small shallow breaths after starving for oxygen. There was still more that he need to breath fully but at least he didn't feel like he was going to die of suffocation now. Except at that moment he wasn't sure as he would have minded staying locked with tony until the man pulled back for air. Still the man kept kissing down his cheek and jaw, Loki giving him all the access he wanted. Then Tony's mind was pressed against his and Loki could have cried as he pressed in return almost wanting to meld their two beings.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony continued to kiss Loki, shivering slightly as Loki responded so readily to him on every level. He could feel the desperation under the surface, the want in Loki, a desire to match his own. But Tony had made a decision. They wouldn’t dive right back in….not so quickly, so he just pulled Loki closer, fitting as much of himself as he could against the god, ever mindful and careful of his belly. Finding the mark again, he placed a feather light kiss on it before he paused, an urge overwhelming him as he bit the mark, not breaking skin, but hard enough to leave a bruise. He had to remind himself that Loki was still his, still carried his mark.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki felt tony shiver against his and he gave a soft nuzzle to the underside of his chin, reassuring the man as best he could. He was there and never leaving again no matter what happened. Having the man pull him closer had Loki moving against him too trying to be as close as possible, to have as much contact as was able. Soft shivers consumed the good as tony placed feathery kisses against the mark. God he wanted so much for, and the suddenly Loki was consumed by something he didnt have words for as tony but down on the mark. Loki arched in the man's arm as he felt the bond repair itself some. It suddenly felt like he could more almost normally. He didn't know if Tony knew what he was doing but he didn't want him to stop but he was too scared to say anything in fear that it would all end and he would feel like he was suffocating again.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony reflexively gripped Loki’s tunic as the god arched, keeping him close. He felt something in the bond, in Loki’s mind, though he didn’t know what it was. Some instinct drove him to bite a little harder, a soft growl bubbling in his chest. The faint tang of copper on his tongue brought him crashing back to his senses though and he flinched away, letting go of Loki, arms instantly loosening. “Sorry. Sorry….” He mumbled, shaking his head. “That was….I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He continued, eyeing the mark with concern, only seeing the faintest pin pricks of blood. At least he hadn’t broken the skin too much.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't fight against tony when the man grasped his tunic securely and kept him close. The arching hadn't really been his own actions either. Shivering against Tony as the man growled and then bit harder Loki felt the bond snap fully back into place and Loki gasped for breath. It felt like he could breath again fully, felt like he was really with tony and never leaving again, never had to. The overwhelming feelings of that had Loki collapsing into tears of relief even as Tony apologized. "No, no, it doesn't hurt. Its back, fully back.im not going to lose it, lose you." Loki choked out past his tears of relief. His body was shaking as the bond resettled itself and altered to accommodate the children growing within him. The bond seemed more firm, almost impossible to break with the children twined into it.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony frowned as Loki began crying. He was saying he was fine, but there were tears. “I…I’m sorry?” he said, confused and mildly panicked at the moment as his hands shifted restlessly against Loki. “I-I don’t understand Lo….” He mumbled, trying to get a good look at Loki’s face. “Why are you crying? What did I do?” he continued, eyes darting around the room to make sure he hadn’t missed something or someone. Nervously he began to pull his mind from Loki’s not sure what was going on or how to respond.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki shook his head trying to breath through the tears and will them away but he was so relieved and overwhelmed that he was fighting a losing battle for the moment. Even as Tony grew confused and panicked the god couldn't get anything out more than shaking his head at the man as he proclaimed his didn't understand and asking what he had done. It was only when Tony started to pull his mind from Loki's that the god reacted fully. "NO!" he shouted clinging onto Tony harder in that moment. "Don't, please. I just, you didn't hurt me but since I left the bod was breaking. I didn't know how to fix it and I started to feel you less and less. I couldn't breathe, almost couldn't live. Feared I wouldn't if it had gone completely. But you fixed it just now, it's fixed, better I think. I can breathe again." Loki tried to explain in his ramblings as he still clung to Tony not being able to bear being separated from him in any capacity just yet. His whole body felt like one gaint nerve endings that without Tony all he would get was pain.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony froze as Loki shouted, even his mind stuttering to a stop for a moment, not pulling from him any further. Listening, Tony slowly tightened his grip around Loki, drawing him close against him once more, pressing his mind close again. He hadn’t been aware that anything had been wrong. Something had felt off of course, but he hadn’t realized the bond itself was breaking. He assumed it was more the issues between them that was causing it. “I didn’t know what I was doing….I just….it popped into my head and I couldn’t help it.” He mumbled, pressing a few soft kisses to the side of the god’s head.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't pull away or apologize after he shouted and Tony stopped all motion. When the genius drew him close again and pressed his mind into his Loki tried to burrow into him taking the breaths that he felt like he had been missing since the bond had been breaking. It was only when Tony spoke that Loki finally looked up to him and what the man said made Loki dread himself a bit. Had he influenced Tony to act in some way, to reaffirm the bond. Had the man wanted it, had he forced. He couldn't take if Tony hadn't wanted to fix the bond. He couldn't live without him but he couldn't bear forcing him into such a thing either. His mind ran through everything since they had entered the room and it spiraled looking for anything that would confirm that he had caused Tony's actions. All the while his mouth muttered apologies.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony felt the tinge of panic that suddenly gripped Loki. Frowning, he tilted his head as Loki began to apologize profusely to him. Watching the god for a moment, he finally tugged his hair lightly, trying to get him to focus on him. “Loki.” He said firmly. “What are you apologizing for? I was the one that bit you. Yeah, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I don’t think you did either right? Certainly didn’t seem to at the time.’ Pressing his forehead against Loki’s he looked into his eyes. “Calm down Lo. It’s all good. Whatever you’re freaking out over, it’s okay.”