[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

The new question brought a pause from the brothers, both looking relatively confused. Look to one another, they murmured back and forth in Jotun for a moment before looking back to Loki, curiosity and apprehension mixing in their eyes. “How have you given birth?” Byleirst asked slowly. Helbindi crossed his arms, glancing around the room as if considering his words. “Jotuns are….what is the term used?” he asked, tilting his head. “We have both, all.” He offered instead. Bruce’s eyes narrowed for a moment. “Intersex?” he offered, Helbindi nodding quickly. The information made Frigga shift in her seat beside Loki, surprised by the new piece of information, Thor too making a small noise of surprise from behind them. The brothers just watched them all, almost patiently. “I assume it is strange to the Asgardian and Midgardians?” Byleirst asked slowly. For the jotuns it was a normal fact of life, so the surprise was a little off-putting.

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked a bit concerned when the brothers were not forth coming with an answer to his question and talked among each other for a moment. When they posed his own question back to him Loki blinked more surprised. "Depends on the time, but my magic shifts my body into a female form to accomodate for the passage of the children." Loki stated wondering if it was the same or not. He was going to guess he was strange in that case and waited for the response. Hearing that Jotun's were intersex was a bit surprising but it made alot of sense. "Asgard if they have someone who is intersex is rare and I am not sure about Midgard. It makes sense though why I am able to concieve, it must be the Asgardian in me that makes my body appear entirely male despite the ability to have children." Loki stated. Though he wondered if Odin hadn't used some magic to permanently alter his body which would explain why his magic shifted him when the time came.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“It’s exceedingly rare here as well.” Bruce confirmed quietly when Loki admitted to now knowing how it was on Midgard. The news that Loki had to change forms sent the two jotuns back into a muttered conversation, a slightly more urgent tone in their voices. “How have you managed to successfully have so many children then?” Helbindi asked, red eyes landing on Loki suddenly. “It seems that you should be at more risk than most of our kind, yet here you are, carrying two more healthy children.” There was a slight defensiveness about the man as he spoke, truly shocked by the news and how it changed Loki’s success in bearing children. Byleirst propped his chin in a hand as his eyes flickered to Frigga and Thor. “Perhaps that Asgardian blood in you is actually more useful than not….”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki grew a bit more concerned when his brothers muttered amongst themselves again with Loki's admission for how he had birthed his children. When they asked him how he had managed to have children so successfully Loki blinked, he didn't know how to answer that question. "I do not know, and I can't say that any of them were easy. The currecnt pregnancy is not easy either." Loki stated. He didn't know what to make of the defensiveness of Helbindi suddenly and Byleirst words had Loki shrugging. "My mother was there for the second pregnancy but the first was hard on me. The third was...well to say it was hard would be a major understatement. So I can't say that i've had children successfully or at least not easily and Tony and Bruce think this one could be complicated as well. Which is why we thought to ask you about such things." Loki explained.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“Ease and success are two different things.” Helbindi murmured, looking away a little sullenly. Byleirst didn’t seem phased by his brother, still focused on Loki and the topic at hand. “I’m afraid neither of us have been trained as healer, born children of our own, or had mates carry children, so we lack any firsthand experience to offer.” He said slowly. “But I can say that hard pregnancies are normal for our kind, and if you follow the trend of our species, they’ll only get harder if you continue to carry children in the future. Even with your past successes, I’m not sure how many more times you can carry and safely see your children and yourself to the end. You seem healthy enough this time, and you have a mate who is still strong and healthy to support you. Next time you may not be so lucky and I would advise you to be concerned.” His tone was gentle and kind, even as his words remained pointed.

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki frowned almost hurt that Helbindi seemed rather upset over the fact that he had had so many children successfully. He hadn't meant to upset his brother, especially over something he had no control over and no prior knowledge about. He was glad that Byleirst didn't seem affected as his brother was. Listening to Byleirst as he explained that neither of them had trained as a healer, bore any of their own children or had mates that carried children and nodded at it. "So this could very well be the last time I can carry children fully?" Loki questioned seeming mildly upset by that fact. He was still frightened of the possibility that his children would be taken from him, either by Odin or more terrifying by Thanos when the god was close enough. "I understand." Loki answered.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Byleirst shook his head. “I couldn’t tell you that for certain, it would take someone older and wiser to make such a prediction, but I can promise you that if things have gotten harder, it will only continue to do so.” He said slowly. “there may be other ways, other advice for you that could help, but I wouldn’t dare venture to offer them for fear of being wrong.” Tony could sense a little of the sadness from Loki and just squeezed his hand. “Well Fenrir and these twins will keep us entertained for a long time anyway.” He said lightly, trying to keep Loki’s mind in the present. Another pregnancy wasn’t even in the cards if they couldn’t make it through this one.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked to Byleirst when the man told him he couldn't give him that answer for certain but that it was possible. "It would be wise perhaps to ask for such advice if you know someone that can provide it." Loki stated squeezing back when Tony squeezed his hand. The genius' words about Fenrir and the coming twins keeping them busy for a long time had him nodding with a smile. It was true that the three children plus Natasha's own child would keep the entire household busy. "Does the bond help or hurt the pregnancy in anyway?" Loki questioned trying to segue the conversation towards his and Tony's bond.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Byleirst nodded. “We can ask around when we return home. The next time you are comfortable enough to meet with us, we can tell you what we’ve learned.” He promised. The next question had Helbindi tilting his head and responding. “Both depending on the situation.” He said slowly. “Normally it is more helpful than not. Bonds allow the sharing of energy, magic, burdens. It usually means a somewhat easier pregnancy and labor. It does cause complications when the children do not belong to the mated partner or the bond is broken or nearly broken.” He explained rubbing the base of a horn as if trying to relieve some tension. “If the child is not of the bond, the magic of the bond can attack the child as if it’s a foreign entity. Might be part of the reason you came out smaller than normal. And if the bond break, everyone’s health is put in danger.”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki nodded when Byleirst said that they could ask aroud and tell them when they were next comfortable. "Whenever you are availiable to come again you are welcome." Loki stated not seeing a reason why not. His brothers seemed quite genuine and Loki was glad for that. Loki listened as Helbinidi answered his next question and Loki's heart dropped from his chest at the information he recieved. More ways he had put their children's lives in danger, he squeezed Tony's hand a bit more tightly not sure what to do or say. He sat frozen as Helbinidi finished explaining that it was even worse if the bond had completely broken. He could scarsely breath for a moment. "What...what complications...?" he finally breathed out.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

The brothers seemed genuinely surprised by the offer to visit again, but Byleirst nodded, smiling gently. “Then we will visit when we have more information we can offer you.” He promised. Helbindi sat back in his chair as he considered his response. “When you form a bond, you are blending yourself with your mate, they become an extension of yourself in many ways. Breaking a bond is cutting them off…like cutting off your own arm, and theirs at the same time.” He said slowly. “Imagine losing your arm. The trauma that would cause to you…and thus the children you carry, breaking a bond has that same affect, but multiplied by psychic and magical connections. It’s stressful on mother and child alike. If the mother is strong enough, everyone makes it, the children may be small or sickly, but they make it.”

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"you do not have to wait until you have information." Loki countered when his brothers said that they would come again when they had more info for them. He didn't want his brother's to think that they were only welcome when they had something for him. Helbindi's explanation of what the consequences of the bond being almost broken and then fully torn had Loki feeling faint. The feeling of cutting off one's arms by breaking away from their mate was something Loki understood well and he was sure that Tony did too seeing as how they both had been with the bond breaking when they had been apart. The thought of having caused his children to be small of sickly because of his running away had tears at Loki's eyes and his throat tight. Bruce had said that their little girl had looked small, had he caused that? Had he harmed their child, would she make it through the birth or even through life? And what of their son, what damage had he caused to him? All those questions swirled in Loki's head and guilt poured into the bond along with despair.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony listened, almost feeling numb as it was revealed how they may have affected their children. Closing his eyes, he bowed his head. They could’ve caused so much more damage. Feeling the flood of despair from Loki, he turned in his seat, half getting up to wrap Loki in his arms. “I’ve got you Lo…we’ll be fine.” He whispered to the man, rubbing the man’s back. “They’re healthy, you’re getting better, we’re okay.” He whispered. He could fee his own worry, his own despair bubbling up, but he couldn’t let himself feel that, not with Loki being so overwhelmed by it. He had to calm his mate down.

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki started a bit as Tony wrapped him in his arms, as soon as he realized it was Tony he turned into the man. Burying his head in the man's chest he fought from crying knowing that it wouldn't change anything. It didn't make him feel any better but still he fought it back. "Bruce said she was small." Loki argued softly when Tony said that the babies were healthy and that he was getting better and they were okay. "I could have lost them because of what I did, because I ran." he continued.