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Adult's Toy<br />
There's no evidence of me ever having been loved<br />
The happiness that came without stopping also disappeared<br />
I flipped over the leftover toy-box<br />
Controlling myself, I smile <br />
Dominated and traumatized like a baby-toy<br />
The rain pours steadily behind my back <br />
The liar breathes out<br />
When even my mind was taken<br />
And stopped<br />
The hatred stained with black <br />
Hey, hold the dangerous toy in your hand<br />
And take apart this hideous body<br />
Shake your body at the feeling that can't be told<br />
Pierce my decaying wound<br />
Pierce me with the words that hit deeper and heavier<br />
Than the knife that split me apart <br />
I could see the world of adults through the crack<br />
The dirty and suffocating treasure chest of trauma<br />
My world that was built up in the closet<br />
Is a country of beautiful and clear dreams and hopes <br />
Distorted braincells <br />
In the corner of my opened heart,<br />
There's a remembered scar<br />
And the key of the revived memory<br />
Just one word,<br />
"Disappear." <br />
The sun is whimsically blocked<br />
And hope destroyed<br />
The shadow-monk became my friend<br />
Eternal darkness<br />
Zero guilt <br />
Fun toy<br />
Adult's toy<br />
Living toy<br />
Useful toy <br />
Fun toy<br />
Adult's toy<br />
Living toy<br />
How sad- <br />
Hey, hold the dangerous toy in your hand<br />
And take apart this hideous memory<br />
It's time to cleanse me of the clinging dirt<br />
That is soaked in hatred<br />
Nobody understands<br />
The trap of the size of millimeter that only I know<br />
Even if it's not visible to the naked eye,<br />
Pierce me<br />
With the heavy and deep words <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Potato-head in wonderland<br />
Elaborate doll laughs; lamenting broken human<br />
You are my ideal <br />
Fooling brain, unsatisfied person; Fooling brain, unsatisfied person<br />
Dance on top of "my hand" <br />
The girl wandered in the crack of the world<br />
Since my eyes were exposed from the curiosity<br />
I was wandering if I was getting neurosis<br />
I was skilled at living and was enjoying it <br />
In the worldmap that no one can see<br />
History, future, scar that needs to close <br />
It doesn't stop, it doesn't stop, it doesn't stop<br />
It's cold, it's cold, it'd cold<br />
It's painful, it's painful, it's painful<br />
It's not my fault <br />
In the vortex of desires<br />
I grabbed the heart's spring<br />
Fairyland is full of frauds<br />
That way, this way, around, around, it's funny <br />
Laughing peasants; lamenting nobles<br />
That is the ideal <br />
Fooling brain, unsatisfied person; Fooling brain, unsatisfied person<br />
Die on top of "my hand" <br />
Countless things all repeat<br />
Stop that mediocre acting<br />
I thought about repenting<br />
"I'm not bad" I'm enjoying it <br />
In the sweet trap, I entrusted my body<br />
Emerging joy of self-mutilation <br />
It doesn't stop, it doesn't stop, it doesn't stop<br />
It's cold, it's cold, it'd cold<br />
It's painful, it's painful, it's painful<br />
It's not my fault <br />
At the center of the world, I shout solitude<br />
If I wanted collaboration but was thrown away<br />
Fairyland is full of frauds<br />
I don't trust anything, anything <br />
Pouring rain; conscientiousness is getting further away<br />
I jumped off into the mysterious roar<br />
It's not fun; let's say goodbye<br />
I wonder if happiness will be waiting in the next world? <br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Nothing But<br />
I hate myself run away<br />
I was afraid of losing<br />
I was afraid<br />
I thought that I'll disappear if touched <br />
I gathered my scattered thoughts and tied them into one with the past and the present<br />
Although I broke this blocked off heart, somehow I still couldn't reach you <br />
I want to stay beside you<br />
I lost<br />
I want to stay beside you<br />
But I'm not next to you<br />
I lost<br />
I'm disappearing <br />
I gathered the lost time and tied it into one with you and me<br />
Those words that I left won't return, even if I still hate it <br />
And so I can't say anything<br />
And that's why you can't realize anything <br />
I gathered my scattered thoughts and tied them into one with the past and the present<br />
Although I broke this blocked off heart, somehow I still couldn't reach you <br />
Even if I carry my thoughts, I wonder if you and I will disappear<br />
I guess it's good that I stay here alone and embrace myself forever <br />
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