• It was a beautiful day on the Island. Stunning, even. The sky was the truest shade of blue that you ever did see with bits at the edges to light they were almost white and so deep they were almost green. It was the sort of day when everything moves quicker and everything is taller and cleaner and life has this grand beat and music that is so vibrant and so loud you can feel it in your bones. The fire and electricity booms through your blood and everything is more wonderful and exciting then it was yesterday and you know that if things weren’t just so gosh-darned interesting here on the ground you could just fly. Even the cats were actually chasing the birds instead of just lazily watching them from the perch on the windowsill. Atop of one of the city’s fascinating bits of architecture two honeymooners stood, enjoying the view and taking wonderful photographs with their brand-new digital camera.

    “What does this button do?” The man asked his wife as he pressed said button and deleted one of his photos. “Agh! I don’t believe it! Damned thing’s broken already! What a waste of good money! As soon as we get back to the hotel room I’m calling the company to complain. I don’t believe it, really.”

    The woman didn’t respond, she just tilted her head up to enjoy the Sun’s warm caress on her cheeks and lips and hair. In her mind (she wrote trashy romance novels for a living) she began to make up a story about a tragic heroine who had been separated from her lover and had run away from her jealous ex who was a powerful English lord. The heroine’s name would be Altair and her would hire a guide who was dark and handsome and had a six-pack plus superhuman strength as well as being slender and graceful as a kitty-cat. It was sure to be an immediate hit with her publisher. Maybe the title would be Passionate Escape or Island of Romance or something like that.

    It really was a beautiful day.

    Simply amazing.

    Absolutely gorgeous.

    And because it was such a beautiful, stunning, amazing and even gorgeous day on the Island the Volcano erupted.


    “We are interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news…”

    The newscaster flickered onto the living room TV screen in the mainland. No one in this home was watching it. They were all outside saying goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa.
    “Good evening. The Volcano on the Island has erupted with devastating effects. At the moment we’re not quite sure to what extent the destruction ranges, but the Island is covered in ash and we are as of yet unable to find any survivors. Rescue teams are heading over right now. Please stay tuned, as we will be bringing you news on the Island as it comes in to us. If you have family or if you are from the Island and are watching this, please call this number. 1-8-”

    A few days later the rescue teams were all fast asleep except for a few night shifts who were investigating a series of blocked-in caves on the far side of the Island, and the remaining witnesses of the eruption judged it safe to hold a conference.

    Oh, well done. Snapped the surrounding Ocean sarcastically. That was bloody genius, wasn’t it?

    Shut up! The Mountain scowled. I didn’t mean to! It just sorta…came out…

    Oh, you never mean to. The Ocean was rather ticked off. You just never think about anyone but yourself! Most of my seabirds didn’t even have time to pick up on the signals, let alone fly to safety!

    Yeah. Coughed the Earth. Look at what you’ve done to me! I’m covered in ash!

    I thought that volcanic ash was good for you. Snapped the Mountain. Helped you breathe, or something.

    Earth doesn’t breathe. I should know. Whispered the Air.

    You think you’ve got problems! Came the low and gloomy rumble through space. Mars had spoken. Will you just look at the size of this hurricane! Not at all like those wimpy little things you call hurricanes.

    Hey! Screeched a Tropical Storm that was close to the Island. When you do all this work with the water that we do, then you can start badmouthing hurricanes, got that buddy?

    He wasn’t badmouthing hurricanes. Sang Jupiter. Just your hurricanes.

    Why you-Come down here and say that! Screeched Earth.

    What’s going on? Yawned Venus.

    You’re stupid. Jupiter sneered at Earth. You’ve got humans on you. And frogs.

    Stop fighting and focus on your orbiting! The Sun bellowed.

    Jupiter started it! Earth whined, ignoring her Moon’s glare to keep quiet.

    Stop whining Earth. Pluto demanded.

    Yeah? You’re not even a planet, Pluto! Earth spat. Pluto gave Earth a hurt look and started to snuffle.

    Earth, sighed the Sun. You know that Pluto is sensitive about that.

    I don’t care! Earth muttered. Who cares about you guys, anyway? You don’t understand me at all! You’ve got no idea what I’m going through! I bet I’m adopted.

    I HATE YOU!!! Pluto screamed at Earth, crying hard. You don’t have to rub it in my face, okay! It’s your entire fault anyway!

    Well you can just- Earth began.

    Earth! Earth’s Moon shouted. Shut up!

    The neighbors are at it again, dear. Said a galaxy far, far away.