• Drinking first dims, then darkens, then deadens, then damns.



    When you have a gene in your blood, that when you try that first sip make you feel, right. Makes you feel no longer imperfect, but in a place that you "believe" you can control everyone and everything. Of course seeing is believeing, but just when the monster in you takes another sip..

    Hours later as you are sobering up, because the fight was so intense, starting to realize the "monster" in you, just physically and emotionally hurt the one person you so call "love". Seeing the dirt on their face as the bruise starts to become visible, watching the tears of pain and hurt roll off their cheeks onto the floor as they are pullng themselves up off the floor as best they can. Just as you turn to try and help them up, you cant help but notice in the mirror and see the monster looking back.

    You feel the cold around on your back as your realize you dont know where you are as your drifting back and forth between conciousness. While sitting up, opening your eyes alittle trying to straighen your blurry vision, you feel the pain. Everywhere. So sore, then sharp pains and your not able to comprehend everything at once just yet. Trying to remember, remember even the slightest thing about you.
    As you move your hand alittle more, you slowly comprehend you are on a moist rock. Suddenly, you are not only stuck inside your head anymore, your hearing birds, that sound like seagills. Your vision becomes clear, just as you start feeling the thumping ofyour headache grow more intense.
    Conciousness now completly overwhelms you, now wishing it wouldnt. The first thing you comprehend is your on the side of a cliff, beer bottles are shattered all around you. As you look up toward the road, ontop of the cliff, your camero with the teatops off completly totalled.
    As you feel like your weaker than the smallest ant, you find a trail back up to the road. This begins to seem depressing to you and you start to become angry and ad for yourself. You get on the trail following the 25 steps each flight. You finally get to the 10th flight, you can see, about half a mile down the road, a woman laying there.
    You get closer and closer. Finally when you get to her, you see her all bruised up and beaten. As if someone use her as a bunching bag. You knel down, you feel some of the beer bottle that was smashed against her head. As you look in her hand, you see your gold chain clenched in her hand from when she was putting up a stuggle against her attacker. You pull out her wallet for identification. Then you get hit hard with reality. Thats your wife laying there. As your looking down, tears start to fill your eyes as you notice your covered in dried blood from the scratch marks.
    You try to remember what happened but its not quiet clear. You go looking through her purse to get a clue, sadly, you pull out a pregnancy test with words written in blue sharpie marker "I love you so much" and a positive symbol on the results.
    Everything starts to come back now. Everything. You cant handle this, no longer. You start screaming ini pain, feeling every bone in your body wanting to crush. Just as you drop to the ground, crying so hard you cant catch your breath. Then you realize she might still be alive. You painfully and quickly go back down where you found yourself to look for a cell phone. Scavaging for it through broken brown glass with the faded smell of beer coming from it, you find it.
    You start to dial 9-1-1-, but just as you hit the 9, you hear a couple of loud cracking pop sounds. You realize that its coming from above you, and just as you look up, you watch the branch holding your totalled camero from crushing the life out of you break, As it begins to fall, you lookdown and remeber all in a split second, ow happy you use to be before that first sin, how happy you use to make her, Within that split second, you hear the windsheild screech as the glass makes the car loose grip of the branch hanging into it.
    Then damned..