CHAPTER 16 - LET'S ADJUST SOME THINGS, OKAY?
Some people can be so stupid...
I whined as I threw off the cool washcloth that had been placed on my forehead. The washcloth made its way to my head again and I grabbed onto it and snapped my eyes open. Kira was hovering above me, anger still lingering in his violet eyes. The anger of the red was mixing with the calm of the blue eye color.
"Was I just dreaming again?" I sounded disoriented and I was pissed beyond belief.
"No, Arisa. You weren't, no matter how much you and I wish you were." Kira's voice was still angry.
I inhaled sharply and covered my grief-stricken face and moaned. It sounded more like I was crying, which I probably would be in a moment. Kira slowly removed my hands from my face and stared at me with a reassuring look.
"I'm sure we'll be able to find you some way out of this,"
He had no idea how much I was hoping for that. Kai proposed to me when he didn't even love me. And apparently, since I drank the blood, that means I accepted his proposal. If I had known that, I'd have slapped Kai and forced him off of me right away. How could he make me feel like such a fool?
"Why would he do that?"
Kira's eyebrows burrowed together, "I don't know. Maybe there's a meaning behind it, Arisa."
"Kira, he doesn't even love me,"
"We're going to get you out of this, whether Kai wants it or not. He should have known better than that."
"He was trying to pass it on as an excuse to heal my ankle," I scoffed, still on the brink of breaking down.
I switched my attention as I could see Kira's face getting closer until his cool breath swept across my forehead. I blushed, "Kira?"
"I won't...let him have you,"
"Wh...," I stumbled over my own words, "Where's Kai?"
"He left. It doesn't matter." he hissed.
He gripped my shirt tight and glared at me, angry that I had asked such a question and I started becoming angry with myself for asking it as well. I was furious with Kai, he should be the last thing on my mind. I unconsciously rubbed my ring finger and looked away from Kira. Nothing was making sense anymore. Just a few months ago, I was already having a halfway normal life and then it gets invaded by Vampires and Werewolves and even Angels.
I looked back at Kira, "I'm sorry, Kira,"
And in a flash, almost unnoticed, his lips clashed with mine and he was on the other side of the room all within half a second. I tried to process the kiss that just happened, but my mind was already too occupied. Kira's eyes never left me as I closed mine and buried my face in my hands. Then it suddenly hit me that Kira had kissed me.
"Kira, leave!" the tears were making their way out and I rolled onto my side, facing the backrest of the couch, and cried out loud for a short second.
I didn't hear Kira leave, but the room felt emptier and quieter after I was able to calm down a little. I started thinking harder and harder about what Kai did. I was thinking harder than when I did when I told Kai I loved him. I still loved him, but he was taking advantage of it, I was sure. I finally wiped off my tears and consumed a deep breath. I sat myself up and sighed deeply as I dug out my cell phone.
I sniffed a few more times and opened my contact list and took as much time as I could. I was doing the inevitable; I was calling Kai right away. I wanted him to come back and we could figure everything out. I waited with the phone up to my ear as I listened to it ring over and over again. He never answered, but I ended up calling again right away. I had to call three more times until he finally picked up.
"Yeah?" the timid angelic voice of Kai flooded out of the phone and I had almost forgotten how angry I was.
"Um, can you come home quick? I want to...talk to you." I barely spoke in a whisper.
He was reluctant for a moment and I almost thought he had hung up on me, "Yeah. I'll be there in a few minutes."
We didn't even say goodbye as we hung up. I messed around with my hair, only worsening my bed head hairdo. I removed the blanket from on top of me and made my way up the stairs, keeping my guard up in case Kira would come by again. I knew Kai wouldn't be happy at all at what Kira did. I guess I just wouldn't tell him, but it'd be hard to keep it out of my head. I entered the bedroom and quickly changed my clothes. I stumbled into the bathroom and brushed my hair and made myself all finicky for nothing. I guess it was just a natural reaction if you just found out you're an unexpected fiancée. It made me shudder to think of that word, but I shrugged it off. It would all be better after Kai and I talk it over. We would call it off; there's nothing to worry about anymore.
In shorter time than I had expected, a knock at the door knocked me out of my daydreaming. I took my time again to make my way to the door, still watching out for Kira. I wondered if he had snuck out of the house as well. I sighed as I gripped the door handle, not understanding why Kai wouldn't just come in like he usually does. I opened it dramatically slowly and stood face-to-face with Kai. I tried to smile as friendly as I could and moved out of the way for Kai to come in and he did calmly. He tucked his hands in his pockets and turned around to face me as I shut the door. I walked past Kai, keeping my head down.
"Let's talk in the living room," I whispered to him.
I couldn't hear him follow me, but when I sat down, he sat down next to me on the farther side of the couch. I twisted a few strands of hair around my index finger. I didn't know how to start the conversation.
"Um," it felt like a childish meeting.
"About the proposal, right?"
I stopped twirling my hair and closed my eyes. "Proposal" felt like such a strange word, "Yeah,"
"You want to forget about the whole thing, right?"
"Not only that," I could feel my confidence building gradually, "I want answers too."
I peeked over at Kai though my curtain of hair and he was staring at me, waiting for me to ask what I needed to.
"First off, Kai," I took a deep breath, "I'm a minor. I'm not even 18 yet and you're 176 years old."
"I'm stuck as an 18-year-old. It's when I became a Vampire, so time stopped for me there. I've just been around for 176 years. It's not how old I am."
It didn't make me feel any better, "I don't have parents for approval. I'm not ready or anything. I've never been in love before, until now, and I'm just not ready for that kind of stuff." I could feel my cheeks turning a bright pink.
I looked back at Kai again and he was still waiting for me to continue. I drew in a deep breath again, "You're a Vampire and I'm only human,"
"That didn't stop you from falling in love with me,"
I froze for a second; he was right. I didn't distinguish the fact thoroughly when I realized I had fallen in love with Kai. Maybe...that's what was holding him back...the distinguishing.
"Okay, one more question," I stared at Kai confidently, "Why?"
Kai's eyes never left me for the longest moment and he was deep in thought. We searched each other's eyes as I anticipated the long wait, but I would allow Kai to take his time. He raised his hand and the back of his hand lightly stroked my cheek. His cool touch gradually cooled down my face. His eyebrows burrowed together, deep in thought.
"I want to know why, Kai. You don't feel the same way about me as I do about you."
"I...," he paused, "I...can't tell you," he lowered his hand onto his lap.
He shook his head, "It's nothing. If you want, we can forget about the whole thing; we won't be engaged."
I felt as though two tons of anvils had been lifted off of my shoulders. I knew it wouldn't be such a big deal to freak out so much. Kai's face shifted to curiosity.
"Let me ask you something," he said coyly.
He smiled weakly, "What is it about me that drew you so close?"
I held my breath for a moment, "Why do you ask that?"
"You still don't understand, you silly girl; I'm a monster,"
I shook my head right away in objection, "No, you're not. You used to be human, Kai."
"That was over 150 years ago,"
"But you still have your human qualities in you. The only way you'd be a monster is if you were born a Vampire." it was true, all of it was. His human side was still strong in him.
"You remember what I did to you, how many times I could have accidentally killed you. When you first came here, I wanted to eat you for immortality."
"It's all changed, Kai," at least I hoped it was changed, "But what drew me so close to you was...basically everything you did for me and with me. I didn't take the time to distinguish the fact that you were a Vampire and I was a human. Whenever I was around you, I felt as though you were human. You're also somebody I can talk to."
I was surprised my cheeks weren't turning red again. I prepared myself to continue with my explanation, seeing as Kai was still curious and somewhat confused.
"I don't care what you are, Kai. I'm not afraid of you."
I stood up at the feeling that the conversation was getting awkward. I turned my back towards Kai, "So we're not...engaged?" I had to force the word out.
"No, we're not," he sounded okay with it.
I felt another weight lift off of my shoulders. Already, it seemed like nothing more than a mere speed bump. But, did I upset Kai? Did he really want me to be his fiancée? I turned around slowly to look back at Kai. Just when I did, he gripped the couch cushion and and a deep-throated growl seeped out his mouth. In a fraction of a second, he whipped around to glare behind the couch to Kira standing in the doorway. I gasped at his sudden attendance and backed up a little and as I did, Kai stood in front of me.
"You...," Kai hissed.
Kira's face showed surprise and a reaction as if he had expected Kai to react. I grabbed Kai's arm as he started inching his way towards Kira; he must have been in Kira's head and saw the kiss. I yanked back on Kai's arm and if I'd have pulled any harder, it would have dislocated my arm, I'm sure. Kai continued to make his way towards Kira, a growl building up in his chest.
"Kai, don't!" I pleaded. I already had enough weights taken off of my shoulders and I didn't need anymore put on again.
"You," he repeated himself. I was starting to fear Kai would pounce at Kira and he would injure him severely.
"Kai, he just made a mistake!" I pleaded again. I didn't know if it was really a mistake, but I didn't want any more trouble for a long time.
Kai breathed deeply through his nose and he started to relax. Kira and Kai continued to lock each other in a glare. Kira sighed and made his way to the stairs. Kai tensed up again and I squeezed his arm harder as Kira made his way up the stairs. After Kira disappeared, Kai tugged his arm from my grip and turned around and glared at me. I swallowed hard, afraid of the expression on his face.
"Was it because of him?" his words sounded violent, jealous.
My mind couldn't process quick enough what he was asking. Kira jealous? I shook my head, afraid to speak at first. I found the courage to stand up for myself, "No. He had nothing to do with it."
I knew he was asking if it was Kira that caused me to break off the proposal and it really wasn't him. I only assumed Kira's reaction for him to kiss me happened from bad reflexes. Things happen when you're unhappy about something. Don't tell me...that Kira was in love with me...
Kai sighed and the look of defeat washed over his face. I felt nauseous again. I didn't understand how that could work out. Kai and I were the ones in a relationship. Kira and I were just friends, more like siblings. My head spun at the depressing fact that the one I love doesn't love me, and the one I don't love loves me. I'd never have thought f Kira in the way I think of Kai, never.
"Kai, I...I don't understand," I spoke quietly through my musing.
Kai slowly and carefully pressed his palm against my cheek, treating me like a delicate porcelain doll. He stared at me deeply in the eyes and I looked away without turning my head. Kai sighed.
"Maybe you'd be better off with him," he whispered.
I didn't know if he intended me to hear it or not, but my fury sky-rocketed. I inhaled sharply and was about to protest but Kai had already left but I didn't know which direction. I quickly seated myself on the couch, feeling as though my sudden headache would knock me out. I sighed and laid my head back. I didn't want to think about anything. I didn't want to do anything or...anything.
I sighed at my sudden realization of loneliness and rejection as I drifted off to sleep.
- Title: BLooDY SILHOUEttE Chap. 16
- Artist: Mon Amour Antoinette
- Description: Chapter 16 is a little slow. More explanations than anything else. Not really any action, but there is conflict. I had writer's block so I threw in some things in the last minute ^_^;
- Date: 12/04/2008
- Tags: bloody silhouette