• I walked into my friend Shawna's room, a load of her clean laundry in my arms. I strolled over to her dresser, oblivious of everything around me, the iPod in my ears blocking all sound.

    "Even if I say, it'll be alright. Still I hear you say, you want to end your life," I sang softly along to one of my favorite songs. I put her clothes on top of the dresser and turned to leave. But what I saw broke my heart. My boyfriend of 1 year was sneaking out of the room....butt naked.

    I looked to the bed to make sure my eyes were not deceiving me, and, sure enough, there lay Shawna naked and looking very satisfied. She was sound asleep, so I left the room as silently as a ninja. After I left, I ran to my room, slamming the heavy wooden door shut. Sinking to the floor, it was then that I let myself cry. My sobs were hard, shaking my entire body. Someone came to my door and asked if I was ok. Of course I wasn't okay. I had just had my heart broken by the man whom I had thought loved me, having seen him cheat on me. It hurt. It hurt way more than I had ever imagined.

    Finally, I cried myself out. Crawling to my bed, I fell into a deep, troubled sleep, feeling as if my world were crashing around me.


    The next morning, I awoke to see my German Shephard, Isabella, and my Rottweiler Max sleeping on either side of me. Someone had kindly let my best friends into the bedroom. Max, somehow sensing I was awak, started licking my tear-stained face.

    "Max, I think you are the only man who has ever been loyal to me. My first man cheated on me twice and got a girl pregnant and my second one broke up with me after he said he liked me. Now this. I guess I'm just not desirable." I sighed, stroking his big head. Stretching, I looked at the clock and sat up fast. It was already 6:40. Time to start breakfast.

    I rushed to get ready. I didn't want to look like I had cried all night, so I showered and put my make-up on. I headed to the kitchen, Max by my side. Isabella was already there, looking after the two kittens I had found under the cabin.

    I got the big frying pan out and placed it on the stove. I extracted some bacon and eggs from the refrigerator, along with some orange juice. Placing the bacon on the hot frying pan, I began the worst morning of my life. I was like a hurricane in the kitchen, preparing breakfast and cleaning up and feeding my friends. There was no stop to it. When it was all done, cleaned and spread out, I rang the breakfast triangle. I took my mug of coffee and my favorite book with me to the library and read while everybody feasted on the fruits of my labor.

    It was about 11 o'clock before anybody went in search of me. My friend Nicole P. found me first because she knew I loved to read.

    "Ayla, do you think you could come outside with me? Everybody is worried about you." Indeed, her expression was that of a concerned friend.

    I gave a small smile. Nikki was one of my best friends. We had been friends ever since the 7th grade, and in fact, she was one of the few who had been my friend all these years.

    "Sorry. I didn't mean to worry everybody. I just want to sit here for a little while. I'll have lunch prepared by 12:30. Go have fun." I said with false cheerfullness. She knew it was false too, but she didn't push. She knew that I would tell her what was wrong eventually.

    It was another hour before I stood up and went to make lunch, which was some Top Ramen. I also let Max and Isabella out to go to the bathroom. I was happiest when I was in the kitchen, when I didn't have to think of what a cesspool my life had become.

    At precisely 12:30, my friends arrived for lunch. I was letting the dogs in, so I was in the wood-room. I could hear the conversation and I was surprised at what I heard.

    "What the hell have you done to Ayla this time, Nick?" Andrew demanded, anger in his voice.

    "Me? Why would you assume I had anything to do with this bout of unhappiness? She sinks into them at the drop of a hat." Nicolai said defensively.

    "No, she doesn't. And I haven't heard her cry that hard since...well, since never! You are the only reason she gets so depressed." Andrew retorted, almost furious.

    "Well, I have no idea what you are talking about. You have lost your mind." Nicolai sneered.

    "He has not. I saw her this morning, and she was absolutely crushed. It had to be something you did, because the only thing that would cause this is if her dogs died, or one of us did." Nicole said, furious at his lying.

    I walked in, my dogs by my side. They started growling immedietly when they saw Nicolai.

    "Do you want to know what this scumbag did to make me feel this way?" I asked quietly.

    Everybody but Nicolai nodded. "He had sex with Shawna yesterday. I walked into it, oblivious to his deceit. The only reason I know is because I saw him sneaking out of her room, naked. I was devastated. I'm sorry if this has ruined your vacation. I'll be in the library. Dinner will be at 6:30. Good day." I said, dispassionately. I was empty inside, yet at the same time I was a little warmed at my friends defending me.

    I walked woodenly to the library, Max and Isabella at my side. I shut and locked the door. Then I put my gloves and scarf and snow boots on. Donning my warm jacket, I walked out the door leading outside. Max loped ahead, but Isabella stayed with me, sensing my depression.

    "Oh, Bella, I wish I hadn't found out like that. It would have been better if he had told me." I sighed. The tears started again, but I angrily swiped them away. Now was not the time for crying. Now was the time for the fury that would replace the soul-searing agony inside.

    I walked like this for hours, stopping only when it got dark. I knew where I was (I had always been good with direction), so I went to the nearest place of shelter, an abandoned cabin only 20 feet to my right. It was well kept, so I knew that I would not freeze. Maybe it would do them good to be without me for a night.

    But I knew not the panic I stirred back at the main cabin.....