• "Can you tell me the relationship between you and Greg?"
    "No." I answered the policeman. He already seemed irratated, but I dont care. He can piss off.
    "Can I smoke in here?"
    "No, roxie. Answer the question."
    "You said... 'can you', so..."
    "Will you?"
    "Probally not."I smiled under my bangs that I neglected to cut for a while.
    "If I let you smoke, will you?"
    "Yes sir, that a good deal, you know." I took my ciggerates and lighter out, lit the cig' and took a drag, blowing the smoke high above us.
    I began, with a very, professional tone, " We didnt really have a relationship. He thought we did, the dude was completely in love me, you see. I dunno why, probally 'cause I did some stuff with him. Catch my drift, of the 'stuff'?"
    I had to smile, making people uncomfortable with my answer to our 'relationship' was so ******** hilarious.
    "I see, you used him for..."
    "Sexual usage? Yes, sir."
    "Alright, but you were colse?" He pressed on, nontheless, his stubby calosed index finger plucking loose plastic from the table we sat at.
    "Basically, yeah. I told him stuff about me. Really in depth stuff. I really, in the beginning, used him to let all my emotions out. Oh, and he provided me free drugs. Shouldnt have told you that, but, ya'll here want the truth, so."
    "Did he do drugs?"
    "Yeah."
    "what kind did he do and sell?"
    "Pills. Thats all I could tell you, that I know they were pills."
    "Tell me about the day Greg killed himself."
    I flinched when he said 'kill himself'. I acted cool and collected, but when they dusted the truth off, I pieces of myself slowly began to fall off. Like a cliff with loose rocks. I felt that it was my fault, though I knew it wasnt, at all. But if I really was nicer to him, more true... If I didnt have to use him.
    Like he was some kind... I dont know what.
    "He stayed at my house the night before, stayed in the same bed. In the morning we fooled around, messed around. After we finished he looked at me and asked some weird s**t. 'Lets be together forever', 'I love you', all those damn cliche`s. And I just like- I'm using a metaphor. My bottle started to over flow. My anxiety started to flare up. I did it, I said to myself. I ignored his remarks and just started to kiss him and kiss him." A was now looking down, trying to hold back tears. Hate this, hate myself... why why....
    "Go-uh-on."
    "Yeah... so he pushed me off him, and he stared at me, he was crying a little. He said, " What? what I do, Rox'? Tell me? I'll fix it!" Just frantic, you know. And me.." I mumbled lowly," Me the little b***h.."
    "I said to him, 'Your so ******** stupid! 'Love you' you ******** say, 'forever together'! you idiot! Are you so ******** clueless you cant see what this is? Huh?' He looked even more hurt and answered, ' I-what' I screamed at him, ' I'm using you. i thought you were ******** hot and some more s**t... Just, leave, okay? Leave!'"
    I looked up at the police-guy. He looked scared. Good.
    "And he did. Later he began calling me. Like crazy. I answered on the 5th time, and all he said was, 'Look up in the sky, Babe.' I didnt even finish saying whatever I did and he hung up. Couple of hours later, Suicide was on the news. And it was Greg."
    I stood up looking down at him, "And that the story," I flung the ciggerate to the ground, smashing it under my foot, "I'm a user. I'm an addiction person."
    Thats all I had to say, is what I figured and what he probally did, too.
    I left the place, ran all the way down to a local lake, and went skinny dipping under the stars.
    I tried to drown myself, but couldnt. All I could do was look up in the sky.