• Stars. All of them glittering above like diamonds that the sky wore proudly. On my back, the sky was all I beheld at that moment. Life burned in them, life that should not burn in me. A hand ran over my stomach, slashed wide open last time she was conscious. It was gone. Smoothed over with smooth skin, not even a scar.
    How could this be? I should have failed, and be dead. Or maybe I was dead. Maybe that was it, this was heaven. My Illustrious star covered sky, viewed in the hall of the Gods. Beautiful. I did not deserve this. I didn’t deserve one shining star in my heavenly sky. I didn’t even deserve heaven. And then, I thought, maybe this isn’t death, nor reality. Maybe I’ve made it, this is where I am supposed to be. With him. And then his voice, beautiful, and unheard for what felt like ages, touched my ears.
    “Let it go,” he said, I knew what he meant to convey in those three simple words. All this time I had blamed myself for his death. He didn’t want that. Though I had come through hell, literally, and every other world that relates to death in order to find him. And now here he was. Here we were. A reluctant sob burst forth from my lips as I heard his first words. One, then two, then more and more tears slid down my cheeks.
    “Felix…” I whispered, trying to contain the vicious onslaught of tears that streamed down my face. I turned, and the battle with my tears was perpetually lost. They flowed freely and shamefully before my friend. My best friend. The only man I ever loved and now ever would love. There he stood, perfect, just like I remembered him. I longed to touch even one part of him no matter how small or brief.
    “Let it go,” he reiterated softly, “It’s over, you’re here, and our lives are made in these small hours.” He said. Those words, every last one had more meaning than anyone could ever know. Small hours, they were ours, the early hours of morning were always all ours. I was all his, he was all mine, and in those hours we were virtually alone in the world.
    “I… I can’t. It’s me, my fault,” I said, the words carried out on barely a whisper. I looked upon him with such pained remorse in my eyes. His gazed back with such knowledge, depth, and purity that another rush of tears came. It was like a fresh realization that he was here, with me. His head shook lightly, briefly, and I was left to question whether or not it had happened. Slowly his arms raised, open, and his looks gestured for me to come to him.
    Cautiously I allowed my foot to take a step forward. It was small, and it was shaky, but that was all it took. In a moment was fast walking across the midnight floor that reflected the stars. And from walking fast, I was jogging and finally at a full run. I met his embrace with sweet release. My mind opened wider than the sky above us and anxieties made themselves unknown.
    “Let your troubles fall behind you, your regrets fall away from you,” he said gently stroking my hair as my face remained buried in his chest. I inhaled his familiar scent, felt the ridge lines of his firm muscles. Pulling my leaking face back from his chest I looked at the wet streaks I had left behind on his shirt. I closed my eyes for a moment in deep reflection. Taking in the sweetest moment of my life, I replied:
    “All of my regret will wash away somehow, but I could not forget the way I feel right now, in these small hours,” I said, it was almost poetic. Not like me at all. But I didn’t care. It was me, it was how I felt, and I would never forget, could never forget him. Not even if he ripped my heart to shreds.
    He smiled down, he smiled at me. I had yearned for that smile for so long. The longing had at times driven me to physical pain. But all the agony was washed away with one glimpse, one smile, one him.
    And then he looked up. He gazed into the heavens, the wonderous lands of the stars, countlessly endless, endlessly countless. I looked up as well to behold my heaven. My shining diamonds of the night. And with his arm around me, and my arm around him, I will never forget what he said:
    “And these little wonders…. Still remain.”