tales of a new world

• Artist: dysartb13
• Description: this is the start of a book that I wrote instead of doing my homework.
• Date: 03/26/2009
• Tags: tales world

“This is Mark Henry reporting for channel nine news at Morris county high school where a large tornado is tearing through the area and has finally settled on one spot. This just happens to be the soccer field at Morris County high. Now this wind storm originated in, Wait! What the? There now appears to be a young man walking into the heart of the storm. Hey kid get out of there you’re going to die!”

The boy heard the reporter waved and disappeared into thin air, seconds later a large gauntleted hand came out and grabbed something that no one could see it and pulled, the wind died down and everything grew quiet. Reports of the same thing happening all over the globe were recorded. None of the children were ever found.

In a land faraway separated by time and space hundreds of portals opened up and hundreds of men and women fell through them all dressed in armor and carrying weapons that had not been seen on earth in millennia.

Comments

[Pilotslover]

Your punctuation needs some work, the readability to affected by some of it.

[PoisonousMoonlight]

in my opinion i think it was good but first you need "quotations" when ppl speak and i think
it was awesome except for the need of description

[JHaley]

If you want my utmost honest opinion, you definitely need some work.

[dysartb13]

If its bad please let me know