• The crazy a** story Pt.I
    By: Dalton Rouse
    Hi my name is Dalton and this is my story. I play guitar and love classic rock. One day me and my brother Wyatt found an old well back in the woods. We jumped in. It went to Hell! We were sooooo stoked , man! We went to meet the Devil.
    I said , “Rock n roll!”.
    Wyatt said , “Sup , Homie”.
    The devil said, “ Woooooh! How’d you boys get here?”
    I said “We jumped in a big well!”
    He said ,”Holy s**t show me!”.
    So we showed him. Then he released all of his demons into the world.
    Wyatt said , “God dammit! Urg, im telling mom and dad!”.
    I said ,”Do it and ill take out you eyes and put them in your sack and take your balls and put them in you eye sockets then put the end of handcuffs in your temples and pull off your face and take out your brains and feed them to llamas then ill chop up your body into different parts and put each piece into different rivers and oceans of the world!”.
    He didn’t tell mom or dad.
    I said, “ Now we have to figure out a way to stop this! Lets go to god and get some help!”.
    So we grew wings and flew to Bron-Y-Aur ( a cottage in Wales , United Kingdom) and we found the stairway to heaven! So we went up. We saw an angel.
    He said ,”Howdy”.
    I said,”rock n roll!”.
    My brother said,”Sup , Homie”.
    Then we went looking for God. We found him. But I forgot why we were looking for him.
    He said , “ My beard ******** rocks yo!”.
    We started talking about bands.
    Then about 3 hours later I said , “ Oh, Chasquito! I forgot to ask you something! Where is that confounded bridge!?!?! Have you seen it!?!?!”.
    He said , “ Yes. It is in western Yorkshire of Great Britain”.
    I said ,”Ah. Didn’t think to look there”.
    My brother said,” You dumb ********! We have to stop the demons!”.
    I said,” Oh yeahhhh. Hey god, we have some demons problems down on earth,can you stop them?”.
    He said,” Sure sure”.
    So he took his big giant “Worlds best god” mug and squished all the demons. Then he stepped on the devil.
    The devil said,”Oh ******** not again!”.
    Then God took a big s**t in the well and blocked it off. I said,”Thank you!”.
    He said ,”No Problem. Now get the ******** off my property!”.
    He started to shoot lightning bolts at us. We ran and jumped out of heaven. When we flew back home there were big giant flys attacking. Me and Wyatt got big bazookas and started shooting.
    They said , “******** off!”.
    I said ,” Go home!”.
    Ron came over and said ,” Yeah or ill throw you out the window!”.
    The leader fly said , “Yeah right piss anne!”.
    And then he lazered him. (sorry for making the flys kill you Ron sad ). So I avenged Ron and killed a bunch of the flys. Eventually they went back to Pluto.
    I said Thank God there gone. Then I herd a voice saying , “No Problem!”.
    Me and my brother said , “Whoa”.
    Then we were bored so we flew to china and kicked the crap out of some unicorn ninjas. (Sorry for killing the unicorns bao). Then we came home and were really tired. So we took a nap. When we got up we started walking. We saw a poster saying that Meat Loaf was coming to Wells Fargo Arena! So we stole tickets and went! It was Kick-a**! And at the end this big ******** bat came out of the ground and started to eat people.
    I was like , “ Oh ********!”.
    Then we saw Edward.
    He said , “Bring to you big bat b***h!”.
    The bat swooped down and bit his head off! Bella started crying and killed herself because I guess she can’t live without him. Me and Wyatt laughed our a** off! Me and Wyatt went and found Chuck Norris. He came and killed the bat. We were so thankful.
    But then Meat Loaf came up and said , “b***h,You killed my bat!”.
    Then Meat Loaf sat on Chuck and Chucks head exploded! Then Meat Loaf went to prison. (Sorry for sending you to prison meat loaf sad ). Then me and Wyatt went home. Then we went back to the well to see if the turd was still covering it. It was. Then we went down to the river. A big monkey jumped out! Wyatt s**t his pants! I grabbed a big stick and beat the s**t out of the monkey! He got super pissed! Then he did some weird s**t and grew into a giant monkey! I was ******** scared. So I ran up his leg and started hitting his balls with the stick. He howled in pain! Then he threw up! It got over Wyatt! I laughed so hard that I fell off his leg in fell into the river! The monkey was trying to drown me then. So I kept going under water! I kept running out of breath. Then while I was under there I saw Rons ghost!
    He said , “ Take the Gillyweed and you will breath!”.
    It really freaked me out but I took it and ate it! Then I swam over to the monkeys feet and wrapped a cord around it. He fell down into the water. Then he was SUPER pissed! His eyes turned red and he started shooting flames from his mouth! I got out of the water and climber up a tree! I jumped at him with the big stick! He shot flames at me! Then my brother sacrificed himself for me! He jumped in front of me to take the flame! And then-

    To be continued in pt.2