• CH20:
    The next day i went back to school as usual. I had a a lot of bruises, and it hurt to get up but I knew I had to go to school today. I got dressed quickly and shoved my breakfast down my throat and headed out the door all in a rush. I got to school out of breath and panting. I sat by a bench and caught my breath. I saw Joseph coming out of a classroom smiling at a piece of paper. By the looks of it, I guess he got a good grade on the previous test. He became serious when he saw me and walked right past me without saying anything. I felt hurt. But Joseph wasn’t a part of my life anymore, and I know I shouldn’t care. Doesn’t mean that I don’t.I opened up my backpack and unpacked my books from my locker. Jake tapped me on the shoulder and I frowned at him.
    “What??”
    “You know what.”
    “Oh.. right… yesterday.”
    “Yea”
    I finished putting the books in my backpack and looked up to see him there his eyebrows furrowed.
    “Whyd you have to hurt him?”
    “Hes an a**. No other comments.” He said, avoiding my look.
    “No, tell me the truth why did you have to hurt him? Its perfectly normal to be angry at someone but to hurt him?!!?”I asked incredilous. Shaking my head back and forth as if trying to shake the thought away.
    “He hurt you. He deserves it.”
    I rolled my eyes then repremended him.
    “If you call him an a** for hurting me, you are also an a** yourself for hurting him too. And im not going to discuss this right now. You and I both need to get to class.”
    “Im not an a**, he is.” I heard him mutter under his breath.
    “Watever ill see you later.” I said.
    I turned my back to leave and started walking away but he picked up my pace in an instant and held my hand.
    “You know I love you.”
    “Yea I know.” I sighed smiling.
    “You love me?” he asked.
    “I told you Im not sure yet.” I answered stricktly.
    He frowned, dissapointed. I felt bad, he told me he loved me, and I couldn’t say anything to that.
    “Well I guess that’s another thing we need to talk about. You mind going over my house today? We can talk about this stuff there.” He said.
    “Yea, I guess. Im goanna go call my parents and tell them ill be coming home late today. So cover me.”
    Jake stood right infront of me, blocking the view so others couldn’t see. Just in case a teacher would pass by , I wanted to be sure I wasn’t going to get into any trouble.
    I called them quickly but they didn’t pick up. So I left them a message. I hung up the phone and stuffed my cell in my pocket. I turned around and thanked Jake.
    Jake leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek but before he got a chance to, I pushed him back with my hands. He frowned at my response.
    “I don’t forgive you just yet, your going to have to wait till after school.”
    He sighed then swung his backpack on his shoulders and turned around to leave. I left feeling kind of mean. But I wasn’t sure what was wrong or wat was right anymore.
    School was just a daze. I didn’t know what happened. I wasn’t paying attention at all. I figured that in the end of the day I had not learned one thing, which worried me. I walked out of my last classroom feeling unsure. I saw Jake wave at me from a distance. I picked up my pace and turned to look at him.
    His eyes looked flat and uninterested.
    “Lets get this over with.” He sighed. He walked me toward the parking lot, it wasn’t till I got into the car that I broke the silence.
    “Will you family be there?” I asked.
    “It is my house, I expect themt to be there.” He answered confused by my question.
    “Right.” I said, feeling stupid.
    Then it was back to quietness again. There was so much silence it started to become awkward. He parked the car slowly in no hurry. I opened the door, and Jake was behind me. Pulling out the house keys. When I came in I felt a sudden brease of air.
    “Mom! Im home!” he screamed. I flinced aat the sudden noice. He leaned in to whisper in my ear and chuckle, “Sorry.”
    I heard footsteps coming toward us. His mom had streight brown hair, and stunning eyes.
    “Hi im Jakes mother.”
    “Hi nice to meet you.” I answered.
    “And who is this beautiful young lady?” She asked turning to Jake.
    “That beautiful girl is Jessica, the most loveliest girl I have ever met.” He said sincerley looking into my eyes. He meant it. And my face turned red.
    “Well Jessica, feel free to come here any time.”
    “Yes feel free.” Jake said winking at me. I giggled.
    “We have to go do some homework, so..come on Jess.” He was a very good lier.
    Jake grabbed my hand and towed me up the stairs.
    When we got into the room he closed the door and sighed. He walked to sit on the edge of his bed while I got a chair from his desk.
    “Start, no ones stopping you.” He said.
    I blurted it out. “Why did you hurt Joseph?”
    He closed his eyes and put his fingers on the bridge of his nose. I heard his heavy breathing, waiting for a moment till he could calm down to answer.
    “He hurt you. End of discussion.”
    I opened my eyes wide with disbalief.
    “Its no wear near the end of discussion!” I screamed at him.
    We stared at eachother. He had no expression, while mine was furious.
    Jake took in a deep breath. He got up from the edge of his bed and walked over to me to hold my hand, facing me.
    “He hurt you Jess.Alot. And you mean so much to me, It hurt me painfully, to know that you went throught pain, because of some stupid guy, my temper flared at what he did to you and im sorry. ..”
    He leaned closer to me his face pleading. “Will you please forgive me?....Please.”
    I sighed and held both of his hands. “Do you really mean it?” I asked.
    “Yes, I truly do.” Then I looked down at both of our hands intertwined.
    “Enough to apologize to Joseph.” I asked. I peeked up at his face. He had a blank expression. But I could hear his breath was unsteady. He looked downward, defeated.
    “If it makes you happy.”
    I smiled. I leaned toward him to press my lips on his. But then he pushed me away. I felt hurt. He better have a good reason for pulling me back
    “What?” I asked.
    “Not until the conversation is over.” He quoted, what I had said before.
    Not a good enough reason.I pretended to have no idea what he was talking about.
    “What do you mean?” I asked. He looked at me, and smiled.
    “Your such a bad lier.” He said rubbing the back of his fingers on my face.
    “Thanks” I muttered under my breath. He put his hand down.
    He sat back down on the bed and made a gesture for me to come over. I walked sulkily toward the bed. When I sat down he frowned. He put his hand very lightly on my cheek and leaned close to me. And got streight to the point.
    “Why don’t you love me?” he whispered, looking into my eyes desperatley from under his eyelashes. The way he looked at me made all my bones soft.
    “I-I never said I didn’t.” I stuttered.
    “You never said you did.”
    “Ugh, we are not talking about this.”
    “Yes, we are.” He said sternly.
    “No.we.are.not.” I said slowly.
    “You make me so frustrated Jess. You know that?”
    “I don’t care.” I said, moving away from him to the other corner of the room.
    He sat there his hand still in the air, from wear he had put his hand on my cheek. Then let the hand down. The tension in the room was saddening I could tell.
    “Cant you be a bit more open minded?” he asked pleadingly.
    “No” I said angrily.
    I saw from the corner of my eye, him flinch a little at my answer, then saw him frowning in a pained expression. I had hurt him emotionally. I walked quickly across the room, to comfort him. I sat down next to him and with both hands I held one of his. “Im sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
    “Its ok.” He said. But when I looked into his eyes he was still sad.
    “No its not, im sorry, it was my fault. Please forgive me.”
    He didn’t say anything for a long time.So I figured his answer was ‘no’. But as I got up to leave toward the door he grabbed my forearm.
    “Stay. Please.” He whispered just enough so I could hear.
    I was so confused. Did he forgive me? Or hate me?
    “You’re a very confusing person Jake.”
    “I know.” He sighed.
    “And yes, because i love you, you are forgiven.” I took a deep breath of relief.
    I walked back toward his bed, and lied down, looking at the ceiling. He lyed down next to me, and I smiled. I turn toward him and snuggled closer to him. I had my head lying on the bed, and my arm draped over his chest and I scooted closer feeling warmer and safer being this close. I felt him stiffen,which worried me, I didn’t want to look up to see his expression, but I can imagine that it was uncomfortable.And he stayed like that. I was still too,I was probably going to regret this. Then I saw his shoulders relax and he was back to normal. He brushed his fingers through my hair slowly.
    “So like I was saying…” he said clearing his throat.
    “Do you not love me?” he asked. I knew he was trying to make it sound normal, but in the edge of his sentence I could hear his uncertainty.
    “I don’t think you should be pressuring me about this.” I said grugingly.
    “Your right…” he sighed. “I shouldn’t.”
    Then he tiled my head so he could see my face, then smiled wickedly.
    “But I am.” He said playfully, though I knew he was serious.
    “Do you only want me? And no one else?”
    “Yes.”
    “Would you be worried if I ever got hurt?”
    “Of course, what type of idiotic question is that?!” He ignored my comment and kept on.
    “Are you usually happy when your with me.”
    “Yes” I answered. Though I didn’t know wear he was heading at.
    “If you could choose a person to stay stuck with in an elavator, for 3 hours, who would it be?”
    “Not you for sure.”
    He frowned.
    “ I was only kidding.” I smiled. But apparently he didn’t find it funny.
    “You.” So I got the point that all of this was leading up to him.
    “All of those questions prooved that you are in love with me.” He said simply.
    He had one good heck of a point. And I didn’t find one excuse that could compare anywear close to convincing him.
    He turned his body so that he was on his hands and knees on the bed. Then he leaned over me, and put both his hands near the left and right of my head, so that his arms made a small prison. With no escape.
    He leaned toward my ear and whispered.
    “Do you love me?”
    “Im not sure.” I thought of the idea, me and him, in one room, door closed, on a bed, and he was ontop of me. I had to giggle at the idea.My face turned red. Jake froze his face confused,
    “Did I do something?”
    “No, no keep on.” I said answering him.
    He shrugged his shoulders. Then he leaned toward me again, and I thought he was about to kiss me. But instead he kissed my forehead, his lips tenderly touched my skin. Then backed away,
    “Do you love me?” he asked again.
    “Im not sure”I answered the same. At this rate, I knew wear this was going and I smiled. The he smiled too, as he saw that I understood too, wear this would end up.
    Then he kissed my nose. And he chuckled.
    He traced his finger from my jaw to my chin and he repeated that as he asked the same question before.
    “Do you love me?”
    “Im not sure.” I said. Then he was about to kiss me. We were an inch apart.
    “Do you love me?”
    My heart was beating furiously, and I was breathing quickly.A sudden bolt of adrenaline rolled through me.
    “I-I-I don’t know.” I stuttered.
    The he backed away. I frowned unhappy.
    “Well, I guess you don’t love me after all.” He pushed himself off the bed and muddered, “jerk.” He chuckled. I got off of the bed to walk on the opposite side of wear he was standing at, in the corner of the room, and leaned against the wall. Jake walked swiftly toward me with a grin.
    “You know im just playing with you.” He said. He kept his eyes on me as he kissed my hand.
    Then he put my hand back down.
    “ You totally knew I was looking forward to that kiss.”
    “Exactly.” He said smiling with pride. I rolled my eyes.
    “Well do I have permission to kiss my boyfriend or not?” I asked.
    “Until you tell me that you love me, im not going to let you kiss me.” He smiled wickedly at his plan.
    I droped my mouth slightly open.
    “Are you kidding? Or are you serious? I asked unsure.
    “Oh…” he chuckled “Im serious alright.”
    I sighed. “That’s so not fair.”
    He frowned slightly, “Is it a crime if all I want, is my girlfriend to love me back?”
    His eyes were on me. I looked down. “I guess not.”
    Jake smiled. “Well then, I liked our little conversation we had today. It was….interesting. And for you, a learning expirience.”
    I ignored him. I walked downstairs and swung both bookbags on me. And trudged up the stairs once again. I saw Jakes mom watching me suspiciously.
    “You two alright?” She asked concerned, her eyebrows furrowed.
    “Yes, perfectly fine.”
    “If you say so.”
    When I got back up stairs. Jake was on the floor.
    “Now for the worst part.” I said.
    “Lets get this over with.”
    CH21:
    We helped eachother out on homework. It took about two hours to finish my homework. I was relieved we didn’t have any projects or essays due. When we finished we put all our notebooks, folders, binders, everything in our backpack. Jake walked me downstairs. I walked to the kitchen to thank her for letting me come over. Then I walked out the door. He held my hand.
    “Bye Jess.”
    “Bye Jake.”
    I pulled my arm to remove mine from his. But then he pulled me back. I turned around curious.
    “Would you mind…if you could stay with us for dinner?”
    “Yes” I said too quickly. He chuckled and put his hand on my waist and towed me toward the kitchen.
    “Mom?”
    “Yes hunny?” she turned around from the dishes to face him,when she looked confused, that I was still there. The she saw Jakes hand around me. She smiled.
    “Can Jessica stay for dinner?” he asked hopeful with a huge grin on his face.
    She smiled, then frowned,
    “If you wouldve told me earlier, I couldve prepared a meal for her.”
    “Oh, right I guess that’s ok.”
    “No worries.” I said cheering both of them up.
    “Maybe some other time.” I said.
    Jake took my hand and walked me out the door again. I looked at him and I saw he was worried, or sad about something.
    “Are you ok?”
    He didn’t answer me for a really long time.
    With swift movements he put both of his hands on my waist, and pulled me toward his chest. I rapped my arms around him and I hugged him tightly. I could stay here forever, but unfortuneatley I didn’t have time for ‘forever’
    “Oh forget it.” He said releaved. “I don’t have the will power.”
    “What the heck are you talking about?” I asked.
    I took a step back to see his face. His hand was on the back of my neck. The instant his lips touched mine, we both smiled. I put both my arms around his neck and I pulled him closer to me. I moved my hands so that they were running through his hair. His sweet touch gave me more awareness. As he backed away he frowned leaving his arms around my waist. While I still left my arms around him.
    “Well I guess the deal starts tomorrow.”
    “Come on, please don’t do that.” I pleaded whinedly.
    “Its not that hard really. Three simple words. I-love-you. Cant get any easier than that.”
    “Jake I don’t say those words unless I mean it. It doenst mean anything if its just words.”
    “You have a point there, so when you mean it, come to me.”
    “Your will power will crumble to pieces. I know you’ll give in.” I said. I traced my finger around his lips.
    “In your dreams.” He said acting all tough but what made me giggle was I heard his breath caught.
    “Watever you say, ill see you at school tomorrow.”
    “Bye.”
    “Bye.”
    I walked to my car slowly. I wasn’t in any hurry of leaving. I opened the car door and sat down. I saw Jake was still at the door looking at me. I waved at him and blew him a kiss. He pretended to grab it, and stick it in his pocket. I giggled and backed up the car. I left the house thinking about what happened today. It was….quite interesting. The thing that bothered me was the deal. How could he be so unfair? Ugh. I did really like him, a lot, but when I say I love someone, I want to mean it. Not just say it. I thought back to when Joseph had told me that. I remmember his exact words.
    “You don’t need to decide now its alright ill give you as long as it takes.”
    He grabbed my hand and I wasn’t sure if it felt right anymore. I got up from the bed and sat on a chair and thought for a while. He loves me, I really like him. I don’t like him because its more than that but love might be too much. I then decided, I walked back to Joseph. And I sat next to him on the bed.
    “I…I umm..”
    “Jess trust me don’t decide now. When I hear it come from your lips, I want to make sure your positive and you mean it.”
    I frowned. And I felt my heart getting heavy. I remmember that night, in the end, when I whispered I had loved him. How could I have said that. I wanted to just close my eyes and relax for a while, but I was driving. How could I have told Joseph I loved him? When now, I have Jake as my boyfriend, and I cant even tell him I love him back? Ugh. I felt disgusted with myself. When I got home I stayed in the driveway and put my hands on my face. Hoping that I didn’t need to see the world anymore. I put my fingers on my temple and pushed hard, trying to shake off the memory. It didn’t help at all.
    I picked up my backpack and walked to my house. I had to scrumage through my jeans to get my keys. When I found them, I unlocked the door and felt a whole wall of air around me. I dropped the backpack to the floor, tired.
    “Mom?”
    No answer.
    “Dad?”
    I waited a while. Still no answer. I walked across the hall to the office, and opened the door. No one was there. A not was left in the kitchen,
    Hunny your dad and I are going out to dinner. We need to disgus s some things about work. Sorry we didn’t leave you dinner. We will be back home as soon as we can. Love:
    Mom and Dad
    CH22:
    I dropped the paper. And walked upstairs to my room. I ran to my bed and flung myself on it. I was not in the mood to do homework just yet. So I called the Jake. I was typing in his number, when my phone rung. It was Jake, just the guy I was looking for.
    “Jake?”
    “Hey cutie.” I smiled.
    I heard him coughing.
    “So why did you want to call me? I just left your house.”
    “I wanted to hear your voice. “ he chuckled.
    “Welll then that’s a good enough reason.” I answered.
    No one was talking. It was an awkward silence. Then I heard coughing in the background.
    “You feeling ok?” I asked worried.
    “Im fine, relax.”
    “You sure?”
    “Yes. Im posotive.”
    “So….” He said.
    “Spit it out, whatever you want to tell me.” I said, annoyed by his hesitation.
    He chuckled, “You know me so well.”
    So I waited for him to answer.
    “Kay um..” he started
    “Nevermind.” He said.
    “Jake tell me.”
    “No.”
    “Ughhh”
    “ I hate you Jake.”
    I knew he knows that I could never really hate him.
    “I love you too.” He sighed.
    Then the phone hung up. It was kind of random, but now I knew the reason why he called. I closed my eyes and later decided to do my homework tomorrow. I pulled up the covers and put my head on the pillow. And I fell asleep.

    I woke up with three people all around me. Hovering me.
    “What? What are you people doing?”
    I saw some guy in a white uniform.
    “Huh?”
    My mom was there worried.
    “I saw you when you were sleeping. Your face was dead pale.”
    “So?” I asked, I started caughing. My throat was hurting.
    I put my hand on my throat. What was happening?
    A tall man around his thirteys had brown hair and hovered over me. He stook out his hand.
    “Hi, im Doctor Pelt.”
    “Hi nice to-“ I coughed. “meet you.”
    “Do you know whats wrong with me doctor?”
    “I have a fairly good idea. Can you open your mouth for a second?”
    I opened it as wide as I could. He stuck a popsicole stick in my mouth. Then raised his eyebrows. He wrote it down on a piece of paper.
    “Hun, wear were you last night?” the doctor asked. Why did he need to know that? Watever, hes the doctor.
    “I was at a friends house, called Jake.” He rubbed his forehead.
    “And so your coughing, what else do you feel?”
    “My throat is dry, and it hurts.” I answered. He took in a deep breath then let it out.
    “It seems like your daughter has Mononucleosis.”
    All of us were confused.
    “Whats that?” My father asked, looking at the doctor confused.
    “Its an infection, some people call it the ‘kissing disease’ because it is spread by kissing someone.”
    The doctor said that looking at me. My mom, dad, and I all opened are eyes wide.
    “WHAT?!” I asked incredilous.
    My heart was beating faster, unevenly. I was breathing faster my body felt stiff.
    My mother closed her eyes. “Oh my…”
    My Dad was furious. But he didn’t say anything. And I knew that only because, the doctor was there, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself.
    The doctor got up, took his paperclip board and said,
    “Well, there is no medication for this. Im surprised your daughter has it, its very rare. It will clear up on its own without any complications.”
    “So theres nothing we can do to help? Just wait?”
    “Yes.”
    My mother looked pleadingly. My father looked like he was goanna explode. The doctor stood there for a second.
    “Im sorry. I have to go. It was a pleasure meeting all of you. “ He shook hands with my father then my mother. And I heard the footsteps walking down stairs, opening the door, then closing it.
    My Dad looked at me, He put his fingers on the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes, then took a deep breath, his face wasn’t red anymore. I cringed, because I knew he was going to scream. But he lowered his hands and looked at me,
    “Well, I hope you feel better honey.”
    WHAT?! I thought to myself. No screaming.
    “Your not mad?” I asked curious.
    “You’re a grown girl, I shouldve expected that you were kissing guys.”
    He walked away. And I felt like I was missing something. But I didn’t say anything, I was glad the worst part was over. My mom came quickly toward me.
    “Do you want any water? Any soup?”
    I was about to decline but then I nodded yes. She ran downstairs. I was thinking about how horrible this was. Ughh. This definatley sucks. Then I thought about Jake! Oh shoot ! I have to tell him. I got out of bed and searched through the backpocket of my jeans and called Jake as quickly as possible. On the fourth ring Jake picked up.
    “Hello?”
    “Oh Jake!”
    “What? What happened? Are you alright?”
    “No not really, and neither are you.”
    “Huh?”
    “Jake I woke up this morning, a doctor came and told me I had monoculosus.”
    “Am I suppose to know what that means?” He coughed a little.
    “They call it the ‘kissing disease’ because its spread by kissing!”
    “oh my god.” He said uncertain.
    “Im so sorry Jake!” I said pleadingly.
    “Please forgive me! Please!”
    He took a deep breath.
    “We don’t know who had it first. It couldve been you, or me. So don’t blame this on yourself cuz we are not sure.”
    “I wish I could come over there and hug you.”
    “I like that idea. I really do.” He said smoothly. And I could tell me meant it.
    “Maybe I will.”
    He chuckled. “Ill see you soon then.”
    “I love you.” He said.
    I sighed. Ugh. Why does he always have to make me feel bad. Dumb Jake.
    “Ok bii.” I said pretending I didn’t hear that.
    “Bye then.”
    I hung up the phone. I put on a jeans and I grabbed the first t-shirt that I saw and ran downstairs.
    “Wear are you going?! Your sick Jess.”
    “I know but im going to see Jake. “
    “No you are not.” She said stricktly.
    “Please Mom. Please.”
    She scratched her head. She twisted a strand of hair quickly, thinking, then tucked it behind her ear and make a gesture that I could leave, I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door.
    Next stop, seeing Jake. My parents mightve taken the news ok. But will Jakes? I shuddered. They would blame it on me of course. I pushed the thought aside. I smiled knowing it would be only a matter of minutes till I could see Jake again. And have him in my arms.