• Smiles danced in the dusk, mirroring our running forms. Laughter erupted from you as we raced across the forest. Trees and bushes jumped into our path, but like always, you leapt over them gracefully, leaving me to scramble through the leaves.
    The moon seemed to join you in your eternal dance, the one that was supposed to last forever. Just me and you. Only, it was more you. Never would I be able to compare to you, the dancing goddess that refused lessons. No one else saw you like that, with your face open to the world, not hiding behind a mask. That was our time, just us, were I could love you without being judged.
    If only you knew.
    If only you would look at me with the same eyes that watched your every move. If only you could see that the world wasn’t truly against you. If only you could see, that even if it was, I was there, holding your hand, trying to protect you from the dangers I couldn’t see.
    If only you could see that what we were here for, it would kill me. But I didn’t care, because this would make you happy, or as close as you had ever gotten. I wouldn’t be able to survive this night after this, but I would do it anyway. Because I love you.
    Every breath you take, every step you make, you’re beautiful, more so than me. The way your hair flew around like it had a mind of it’s own, intent on letting me get as close as I could when I brushed the snarls out, letting the process start all over again, it captivated me. You say that you have chub, but I don’t see it, not like I have. It disgusts me; the way the fat spills over my jeans, even if just a little. I don’t understand you, not at all, but that’s what makes you so unique, so amazing, so you.
    And best of all are your eyes. It sounds incredibly corny but in them I could see a lake, no, an ocean. One with storms and waves. Ever rising and falling. One that I know spills over its pale containers, but it tears my heart, to see you cry. Your pain is my pain, even if I don’t know the reason.
    Your shouts urged me speed up, to try desperately to keep up with you. And in a clearing I found you, standing in the moonlight, completely unaware of the vision of perfection I saw. I wanted to hold you one last time, hold your warm, beautiful body before the night is over and my life shatters completely for you. And so I did. With three long strides I held you in my arms, your small head gently rested under my chin.
    In my arms I could feel you stiffen, if only for a moment. Then you wrapped your own around my neck, and I clung to you like a life preserver in a storm. Thoughts flashed trough my mind. Maybe I’ll be found outs. Maybe I’d do something wrong at the last minute and you suffer. Maybe…maybe I couldn’t do this and I’d break your heart. This is the one thing you have ever truly wanted, who am I to deny you that?
    I stepped back and reached into my jacket. You gave me a small, soft, beautiful smile, one that I know no one else has ever seen, and stepped into a moon beam. My fingers closed around a horrifyingly familiar piece of metal, one that I had used only earlier that day to claim champion title.
    Don’t ever point at something you don’t intend to shoot.
    Safety off.
    Good job honey! I’m so proud!
    Finger wrapped around the trigger.
    I can’t take it anymore.
    You closed your eyes and I knew this is the last time I would ever see those precious oceans.
    Goodbye.
    The bang resounded through the forest. All other noises stopped. I watched as your perfect body silently folds in on itself, the small red dot on your forehead releasing more life liquid than I thought was possible.
    I stepped forward, ignoring the ever growing crimson pool. Not unlike how you had fallen my legs gave way and I found myself kneeling by your still form. A trembling finger reached up to brush away a honey-colored hair from your face. Still as exquisite as ever. I leaned forward until my lips were level with yours. Only one small movement and you would truly be mine, for eternity.
    No, you had never been mine, and you never would be. I leaned away, I only a little, and moved to your forehead. I had never been the right one for you. Instead I kissed that small dot and got up. Without looking back I walked away, forgetting the metal with my prints by your body and the blood stains on my clothes. The ones on my lips I left on purpose, they were you, the you that was as close as I ever got, or would.
    No one noticed when I got home, they never did. It seemed sin to be in my room, where so many memories of you haunted, but I had no where else to be. I sat on my bed and stared at the pictures on my dresser, the ones where you might have been happy, but weren’t, not truly. That’s how the men found me this morning, staring unseeingly at you, blood still staining my skin and clothes, but by now, they were interrupted by streaks of a clear liquid that strangely originated from my eyes, the eyes that had so selfishly watched your suffering, never doing anything to help you truly until last night.
    Words never passed my lips during their useless questions. They knew, I knew, everyone knew. It wasn’t until we were racing to the holding cell, much like we had raced last night, that I said anything.
    “You finally found it,” I whispered. “You finally found Victory.”