• Stacy Nickel's Journal Entry #2

    tab I still remember third grade. Third grade, whenever cried out "oooooh" when someone said "shut up". Boy, time has changed since then.
    tab Jacob was like that. In fact, sometimes, he was just too "perfect", as people would call him. I think that was why he was picked on so much.
    tab But what started out as something small like that, eventually turned into something very massive.
    tab And, I guess I'm not one to talk. As far as picking on Jacob, I was right there with the rest of the crowd. You see, Jacob wasn't the buff, no-one-messes-with-me kind of guy back then. We'd push him around, call him names...All the while, he'd just smile politely and walk away.
    tab Those few years of torturing him...If there was one thing I would want to take back, it would be that. Because...If I never did any of that...If I hadn't picked on him right from the beginning...
    tab I'm getting ahead of myself. It reasons that I tell what happened in sequence, as you probably don't know what the hell I'm talking about. You see, when I finally started to sympathize Jacob...it was too late.
    tab Well, maybe I worded that wrong. I think it ws because it was too late that I started to sympathize him.
    tab The big accident. That's what I like to call it at least. Whether it was an accident or not...well, I don't really like to think about that.
    tab You know, when I said my life was uninteresting, I guess that was a bit of a lie. As far as "interesting" goes, my life was...just that. Very...interesting.
    tab First, let me talk about me. Who I am, who I live with, what I felt about Jacob. As far as popularity goes, you could probably consider me top tier. That's why--going onto my feelings towards Jacob--I could look down at Jacob like that. It wasn't very hard, seeing how low he really was.
    tab Transitioning from school life to family life was one of those things I just had to...deal with. It actually wasn't half-bad of a family, if you forgot the fact that my father was a lousy drunk. For one reason or another, it seemed that every time he came home from work, he was sweating, staggering, and stammering, three signs of assured drunkedness.
    tab My dad's drinking problem was one of those truths everyone knew about, but just couldn't say. Even my mom pretended to ignore me when I asked her why he was doing this to himself, just telling me, "What he does is his own business. Now, could you wash the dishes?" or some crap like that. But it was hard to keep quiet, I'll say, when everytime he entered the house, and my mom asked him how his day went, he mumbled,
    tab "My daysh? Osh, it wentsh fine. Feeling a little...tiredsh, though." I had to stifle a chuckle every time, though once in awhile, it would actually come out, and my mome would give me one of her silencing glares.
    tab But what happened later...wasn't funny in the slightest.
    tab I'd like to tell myself it wasn't my fault. That's what I'd like to think, anyway.

    tab It was at the dinner table, around 7th grade, with my family. Seemingly casual enough, the conversation went like this:
    tab "How was school?
    tab "Well, Jacob's a douche." Some things can't be helped. It just sort of...slipped.
    tab "Stacy, we don't use that kind of here!" I shrugged, rolled my eyes a little, and said a little forced,
    tab "Sorry." She sighed, and decided to let it slide, going on,
    tab "What's wrong with him?" You know, when she asked me that, I really did wonder: What was wrong with him?
    tab There was no legitmate excuse for me hating him, him being to nice not really being a good example.
    tab "He's just a..." I searched for the words, trying to find something that made my accusation plausible. "He's just a jerk." And after that, it seemed like that conversation would forever be forgotten.
    tab I was proven wrong the very next day.
    tab Right in the beginning of school the next day, an announcment in my classroom echoed across the room,
    tab "Is Stacy Nickels there?"
    tab "Yes. Do you want me to send her down?"
    tab "Yes. Her mom would like to speak with her." Of course, I had no notion that this would be a particularly bad thing. I could've just forgotten my lunch, or my homework, or money for class...
    tab But when I picked up the phone at the office, I found out it was none of the above.
    tab "Mom?" I said with a smile. "What, did you find my homework?" She ignored my question, and said hurriedly,
    tab "Stacy, please stay calm." A bad sign. Always a bad sign.
    tab "Your father...He's been convicted of murder. He's been convicted of murder, and is being sent to jail."