• AWAKE.

    My eyes snap open and I gaze lazily around my room. The sun is streaming in through the broken venetian blinds barely attached to the window. I become aware that it is 12:30 in the afternoon. s**t.

    I roll out of bed into the stifling heat of my room and pull on a pair of shorts and t-shirt, hastily applying deodorant as i move towards the door ; my movement disturbs the dust motes in the air, sending them dancing away from me.

    The hardwood floor creaks underfoot as i manouver around piles off clothes on my way to the bathroom where i drain my bladder... and promptly fill it again, straight from the tap. The water is hot in the pipes, and tastes like iron, but i can feel it carving its way across my parched hungover, tongue.

    I turn off the tap and listen. My house is utterly silent in the still afternoon air. I stand motionless absorbing the stillness of it all when a bird chirping on the roof snaps me back into the moment.

    I need sustenance.


    BREAKFAST

    I begin my descent down my staircase, feeling the chipped paint-job underfoot. the cold wood of the stairs soothes my soles, still hot from my bed. I peer into my living room through the glass panes of the swinging door.

    I remember Jake.

    Jake is sprawled across my couch, one arm lazily dangling onto the floor, head tilted back, Mouth contorted into an ugly gaping gash, emmitting a foul noise. Hes still wearing one shoe and a cup of water rests dangerously close to his engorged hand.

    The living room is dark and the air is still and hot. I grab the pull-string of the blinds and yank, letting the light pour into the room.

    Jake begins to stir and lets out a long low moan. Then tries to speak, but it comes out as a wet gurgle; The beer must still be affecting him. I kick his hand.

    “Jake wake the ******** up”. His eyes flicker heavily, focus on my face and then close again.

    I slap his robust midriff and turn on the stereo.

    I turn and head to my kitchen in search of todays nourishment as The Pixies bleat out of the speakers. Jake rolls over to avoid the noise, spilling the water.

    No matter, Ned will lick up the puddle.

    I open my fridge, forgetting theres nothing appetizing in it. I push the ancient pickles to one side to get at my milk. it smells off but i'm hungry. ******** it.

    I pour the milk over a bowl of stale, hard cheerios, and bring a spoon to my mouth, nearly cutting my gums on the razor sharp wheels of what can barely be called food.

    I feel something disgustingly moist pressed on my calve.

    Goodmorning Ned.

    Neds found a spot of something tasty on my calve and is hellbent on licking it off. I push him away and make way for my back porch, cradling my cereal. I call back into the living room,

    “jake, dude.. get up man its almost 1... theres some milk left in the fridge”

    jake makes an unintelligible grunt and sits up.

    Brushing aside the hanging strips of blue vinyl, which serves as a door for my house in the summer, i step onto my backporch and sit down at the small table located there.

    My backyard looks stupendous in the summer and i begin to eat, basking in the sunlight, watching the breeze stirring the leaves in the trees and the tender verdence of the garden.

    Jake appears beside me, a bowl of cheerios clutched in his fist.

    ”Sup dude”

    i ignore him and drop a cheerio to ned, who swallows it whole.

    Neither of us say anything as we eat. We’re both nursing liquor induced headaches and we need our strength for the coming night.

    i finish my bowl and pour the remaining milk down my throat. I lean back on the rough wooden bench and nudge jake's elbow, making him slop milk all over his shirt.

    ”Lets go downtown, i gotta return some s**t to Giant Squid..”

    ”Good”.

    We stumble back into my shaded house, lovely and cool in comparrison to the bright summers noon.

    I find my shoes and sit down to pull them on. I stare at my laces in contempt as i realize they are becoming frayed and useless. ******** converse.
    I knot the thin, fraying lace and make a mental note to never buy converse again. I will though.

    Jake is standing at the front door. Hes wearing one of my shirts.. I didn't even notice him leave to put it on. I stare at him, almost saying something but he beats me to it. “My old shirt smelled like a nun.. Don't worry about it” he says as he opens the door and makes his way onto the path to the sidewalk.

    I shrug and catch up to him. We’re silent as we walk down my street, heading towards the downtown core. I look up at the sky ; its Solid blue and looking at it makes me feel dizzy. I Stare at my shoes instead.
    ******** Converse.

    Jake is talking about something, but im barely listening, im barely thinking at all.

    The next time i look up were outside the kitchen door of The Olde English Parlour. I hastily look further down the street to avoid eye contact with the drained, dirty kitchen workers huddling around the ashtray, taking their hourly smoke. I say nothing as we pass. Its intensly awkward... I quit the OEP 2 days earlier, without any notice.

    “******** that” i say to jake once were passed. Jake nods in commiseration.

    We get to Giant squid and i realise ive forgotten to bring the movies. Screw it, their only 2 weeks late anyway.

    We sit on a bench by Pizza Pizza for an hour. Bored but to lazy to do anything about it. Its not like theres anything to do in this shity town anyway. We watch the sketchy methheads and freaks amble by, jake occasionaly accosting them. I sit silent and watch. We grow bored of this. We move On.


    DOWNIE.

    I stand up and move infornt of jake.

    ”Lets get calder”

    ”nice Dude”.

    We start the long walk down the shadeless Downie Street. By the time were at the dirty Youth centre were both sweating and discouraged. Cant stop here. DONT stop here.

    We walk the hot long stretch the rest of the way down Downie.. into Stratfords "Ghetto".

    Where the 14 year old Stoners lurk, waiting to harrass tourists who’ve strayed to far from the safety of their cookie cutter tour of Stratford.

    We drag ourselves up the cracked black driveway, belonging to calders family. the heat is sapping. Clambering up his steps i trip and get a sliver. Damn. Hes going to want to put peroxide on this. I yank out the sliver and extend my hand to ring the doorbell.

    Jake pushes me into the railing of the porch.

    ”NO!” he pushes the doorbell himself and leans on the wall.

    I think nothing of the outburst. Jake does this, Although its unclear why.

    No one comes to the door, and its hot as hell outside so we make our way round the back. I hoist myself up on the gate, reach over and unlatch the bolt, riding the swinging gate forward.

    Jake is already up the back steps by the time ive relocked the gate. We push the back door open and step into the kitchen. the air is amazingly cool and i feel it seep through my torn t shirt. i grab a glass from the dishrack and hold it under the water jug on the counter.

    I gulp down the cup of water and re fill the glass. Theres something about the water in calders kitchen thats irresistable. I could drink it all.

    I nearly drop the glass as calders dog bounds around the corner, howling fit to wake the dead.

    She awkwardly gallops over to me, still baying miserably. i glare at her.

    ”SIT MINA!” she looks at me and complys, her soft brown eyes look hurt. I pet her.

    She moves to jake, useleslly hoping for some sort of affection. Jake is to busy filling his guts with water to care or notice.

    After we’ve had our fill of the compelling water, We walk through his house to the basement. i open the door, looking at the deadbolt, wondering why somebody would lock the basement with a bolt, from the outside.

    The lights are on. Signs of Life.

    i walk down the carpeted stairs into the inviting chaos of the basement.


    THE BASEMENT


    AS I walk down the stairs i feel the change in temperature instantly, it feels perfect.

    calder is under the stairs, on his computer.

    He barely startles at our un announced presence.

    ”Oh Hey.”

    I flop onto the couch, the cold leather presses onto my skin.

    ”Hey”.

    Jake moves instantly to the pile of instruments in one corner of the basement and begins his perusal. he picks up a bass, to the silent dismay of calder.

    I lay back on the couch. I take stock of my surroundings. theres a heap of empty Strongbow cans on the green plastic table infront of me. Residue from last nights debauchery.

    Other then that, its the usual, comfortable mess found in calder's natural habitat.

    the air down here smells mildewy. But It comforts me on nostalgic level.
    Almost every weekend in the past decade has been spent sitting here.

    Jake begins his abrasive noodling on the bass. Calder and I take our worn positions on the couch and try to watch Seinfeld reruns over jake's oppresive noise. We pass the afternoon in this way.

    Im barely paying attention to the images on the dusty TV screen. My mind is focused on more important matters...Beer. Its unspoken but we all know that we need someone of age to buy us beer. We need to get drunk tonight, its the summer and its a Friday. The Rules apply.

    Jake’s stopped playing bass and has joined us on the couch. i bring the issue to light.

    “Sooo we need to get some liquor. My brother wont buy us any though”

    I look to calder

    “Mine might”

    “Yeah but liam only buys us that vodka... i don't want that crap. Im sick of it”

    I can tell calder is about to get defensive and argue so i just say nothing and lean back on the couch”

    “i might know a guy”. Jake leans forward “ill have to go and meet him though, he doesn't have a phone”

    calder and i both look at jake.

    “I want rum”

    “12 strongbows”...

    “Yeah dude.. ill see what i can do”.

    Its 7:30. Jay will almost be done work. Calder decides that jake should go supply the fun for the night and meet us at York Street Kitchen afterwards, with Jay. We give jake whatever money we have.


    YORK STREET KITCHEN

    Its 7:30 on york street . Its completely deserted except for a couple of sketchy guys hanging out by the Boat House. Calder and i take seats on the bench outside York Street Kitchens Sandwich window. We wait for the lanky red one to emerge. HE does, dragging 3 leaking garbage bags.

    “Hey guys”

    “hey Jay, how was work”
    He looks sad and tired.... but who wouldn't.

    “Good, your brothers an a*****e Toby’’

    “I Know”.

    We each take a stinking, wet bag from jae and proceed to drag them towards the dumpster down the street, behind Pazzos, as Jay tells us about his shift inside the cave, known as York Street Kitchen. We throw our bags into Pazzos dumpster, the whole time being watched by the punks who linger like mould outside Pazzos Kitchen.

    We walk back to YSK with jay, whos only got a few odd tasks left to do. We stand awkwardly at the front of the restaurant as jay finishes his nightly cleansing routine.

    You wouldnt know this place had just been cleaned. I don't like the place, its a little too eccentric... Lurid green walls, wacky - crap tacked to the walls. Little do i know ill be working here in the very near future.

    Jae steals us some Stewarts Rootbeer and some mars bars for the walk home.

    We leave the restaurunt and jake emerges from the darkness, an LCBO bag clutched to his chest.

    “I got it”

    “AWESOME! you guys have beer”. jay is ecstatic.

    we drink our rootbeers and head for Mr Sub. We need an absorbent base of meatball subs if were drinking tonight. I'm finished my root-beer before were off the block. My guts gurgle un easily.
    Easy Old Boy.... you aint seen nothin’ yet.

    A cop car pulls up beside us. This could be bad. bag full of beer, 4 underage teens.

    They shine a light on calders rootbeer.


    ”Whats that”

    Calder turns the brown glass bottle so the label is facing the cop, his voice dripping contempt,

    ”Uhh a root beer”

    The cop is already rolling up her window, “Ok just gotta check, y’know” She smiles, we dont say a word. We have enough real beer in our midst to do anything stupid.

    The cop peels away from the curb.

    ”******** pigs”. jake kicks a popcan onto the road.

    We’re at the Mr Sub plazza. The flourescent lights of the storefronts making the parking lot eerie and dim.

    We open the heavy door and que up infront of the rows of cold meats and toppings.

    calder nudges me. Him and jake are looking at me expectantly.

    I know what they want. They have no money. No sweat, i just quit my job and i have more money then i ever have. I buy them their meatball subs.
    Extra Cheese. Just Sauce.

    We leave the store and sit on the familair ledge around the corner. The area is littered with garbage and cigarette butts. Where better to enjoy a greasy sub? Jake cracks a can of cider and takes a gulp.

    Im feeling paranoid and lame. The cop car spooked me.

    “******** jake! cant you just wait man”

    “Whatevs Tobbus”

    Calders about to start winding me up but i glare at him. Eat your sub.

    We end up ambling our way back to calders house. Jake goes to straight to the basement with the goods.

    Calders father hears us.

    “Hey Girls”

    “Hey terry”

    He asks us what our plans are tonight.

    ”Nothing”

    Jay grins

    ”getting into trouble”

    We conceale a shot glass and join jake in the basment.


    RITUAL

    We take our positions around the plastic camping table. The Offsprings third album, Smash, is filling the room with its honest noise. The Night is young. I take a shot.Calder begins his routine of pressuring me to take shot after shot, whilst he polishes off his ciders.

    its 10:45. the cider is gone. So is the rum. So is whatever vile fluid jake was drinking.

    We’re all drunk and bored.

    We need more beer if were going to continue this level of inebriation. Its time for a pilgrimage to my house.

    We all sneak up and out of calders house into the heavy night time air. The city is still hot from the days sun. Theres no breeze, the air is cumbersome.

    We spend the 5 minute walk to my house drunkenly talking about girls. Calder comes to his conclusion; ******** veronica. Shes a flake. Jake just wants to get laid. I spill my guts about my crush. Im greeted with less teasing then anticipated.

    Home Sweet Home

    We go through the tall wooden gate into my backyard, the gravel crunching noisily under our feet. Ned bounds off the porch and runs at us, a grin plastered on his dopy face. He goes straight for jay.

    I leave the 3 of them with my dog on the porch and i go down the basement stairs, 3 at a time. I drunkenly step in the cats Waterbowl. ******** it. Wheres the beer?!

    i find an unopened case of Canadian....My brothers. I dont think twice, and tear it open, grabbing several bottles. I also see a few cans of my dads thick, gross tetleys beer. They’ll do for jake.

    I bring the beers up to the porch and we sit on the bench. No ones home still. we drink them all and then leave to prowl my neighborhood, looking for things to do. Theres nothing, so we settle for petty vandalism.

    After tipping over mailboxes and throwing 7-11 hotdogs at taxis loses its charm we head back to calders house, walking a crooked, Drunken mile. Jake smashes a beer bottle, noisily on the curb, brown shards of glass strewn across the boulevard... we all sprint the last block.


    STRAIGHT NO CHASER

    We end up right back were the night started. Im sprawled across the entire couch, Superchunks “Fishing” Played on repeat. My eyelids begin to droop. Someone puts on Straight No Chaser by Bush. No, its just me drunkenly singing and staring into the overhead light. Im thinking about her. My vision is blurred and hazy. Calders sister is looming over me.

    “Whats wrong with him?”

    ”Hello siobhan”

    No verbal responce, just a silent sneer of contempt.

    Siobhan is gone again, my previous thoughts return.

    “Drink life as it comes, Straight No chaserr”

    ”shut up toby”

    ”I think i love her man”. No one dignifys me with a response.

    I sit up and look around. Its 2 am. Jay’s already gone home, and i didnt even notice. its time for me to do the same. I roll of the couch and knock over a stack of empties. Calder looms over me like a harvest moon.

    ”Watch what your ******** doing”

    I stand up,

    ”I need to go home dude”

    jake is passed out on the stairs. I wake him up and step over him.

    He drags his imense body off the stairs and rubs his scarred fists into his eyes.

    Exaunt.

    RELIEF

    Calder sees us to the door, and somehow, we make it back to the deserted safety of my house. We stand in my kitchen drinking pint after pint of water. jake heads for the coutch Glass in hand. He kicks off a single shoe and flops dowm heavily. the couch groans its protest. i turn on my heel, trip into the fridge,steady myself and head for my bed. I shed my cloths in the hallway outside of my room and drop onto my bed, crushing my cat. She bites me, i barely feel it. I pet her. Shh.

    My guts feel greasy and heavy, ive got the makings of a bad hangover. something is digging into my neck and i grope blindly in the dark at it, eventually freeing the tweezers that are inexplicably in my bed. Sweet relief. i flip my pillow over and press my face into the cool underside. My eyes close. my mind is on her again. My mind closes... I sleep.