• ‘Thank you, thank you so much! I will not let you down! Saturday’s great! Yeah, yeah...absolutely fine, yes, ok two forty-five pm with Kris Marshall? That’s fine, ok, bye!’ I snapped my phone shut.
    My god, do I feel like screaming! This is AMAZING! Its four in the afternoon and I just got off the phone from the best, the funniest show on this planet, ‘What’s So Funny?’ they’ve given me a job! Assistant for Kris Marshall, host of the show!
    Sorry for no intro, I’m Kati Parker, I’m twenty two and single (and proud of it), I’m 5”7 and have ice blue eyes described as the iceberg that hit Titanic.
    I have chocolate brown wavy hair that falls to my breasts, I have red lips and soft creamy skin, I come from Manchester, my foster family’s home.
    My foster family, what a good (yet sad) story, I’d been in foster care since the age of seven, my mum died giving birth to me and my father died when I was two, of myocardial infarction- in English: a heart attack.
    Since none of my family lived in the United Kingdom, my fathers’ best friend took me in whilst they sorted out the foster care arrangements, before my third birthday, I was shipped off.
    This story sounds sad but it truly wasn’t, I’d made friends with everyone, we had fun, then when I was getting into the routine, I met my first set of “parents”, they looked at me twice and immediately said no...In front of me! (The cheek of them), that was quite a blow for my self-esteem. Yet, I carried on being me, dad’s best friends’ family checked up on me every month to see if I was ok and I was! Foster care wasn’t that bad, it was like a big adventure to me, it was when I was six when Bob and Sue looked into me, Sue had cervical cancer for a while, the doctors said she was to have an operation in which her cancer had disappeared, but sadly, for Sue, she’d lost the power to breed...
    It took up to a year to get everything sorted before I moved into my new parents colourful and beautiful house, everything was so bright! Not a dull part in that house, oh no!
    Everything was going completely wonderful, I’d gone to a school where I fit in very quickly, I’d become the populist very quickly, not boasting here but not only was I always topped my class and was very sporty, but I was a good friend and got on everyone’s good side immediately.
    Sue always told me that before I moved in, the house was ghastly, it was like their was a big hole, and though they painted the house so bright, it didn’t fill the void, but, she told me, when I moved in, it was like a bright light in a dark room, I’d filled the void, I was the one the house was missing, and she told me nothing could ever replace that.
    All in all, it was going great (like I said), until I hit puberty. Tantrums here and fight there, I thought I was the queen and I’d become an attention seeker, it had become too much for my new mom and dad and then, one night, over a remote, another fight started, yet none of them were as bad as this one.

    Summer, 1998, Parker House.

    ‘Hey, dad, what’s up?’ I asked as I walked through the corridor and into the large sitting room, dad was sitting there in the shirt i’d given him for Christmas and jeans, he was watching the news, ‘just watching a bit of telly, how was your day at Jessie’s?’ he asked me casually, looking up from the telly. ‘Great! She got a new bike and we rode around the area, then when we came back, Mrs Bingley had food for us on the table! It was all so yummy, I couldn’t stop saying how delicious it was, I was starting to sound like a broken record.’ I replied, he laughed at my joke, I joined him, then I asked him how come he’s home so early, ‘oh, someone from my boss’s side died, he’d given everyone an early off, it was very generous of him...some of us stayed back to keep him company, I was one of them, I felt ever so sorry for him, his eyes were red and sore and he looked like he’d been crying and not sleeping, I would’ve come home earlier if I didn’t stay back. I quite frankly would be ashamed if I left my boss in his hour of need, me and Jackie and some of the other fellas stayed back, we were all in his house, telling him to let it all out, to cry, to forget everything in the world and just pour out your emotions... and it worked, after two hours of telling us how he truly was, he told us all to go home, and he wouldn’t take no for a answer...poor man.’ He added.
    My father worked in a drill company, he was a big softy and was the most un-selfish man I’d ever met, and he looked at me straight in the eyes and said, ‘promise me one thing,’ I’d replied with a nonchalant ‘of course.’ He carried on.
    ‘Promise me that whenever your sad, or something bad has happened, you’ll come back here until your completely fine again.’ I knew he was talking about when im older and moved out, I could do nothing but hug him tightly and never letting go, ‘Of course, dad, you got that one promise from me.’ That was the one moment when I was calm and not moody, I was hugging my father and feeling like I would cry, but I told myself to be strong and keep up a united front, but that didn’t work, I started weeping quietly and dad hugged me tighter.
    ‘You’re my special little girl, and do you know what? You always will be. I love you.’
    ‘I love you too dad and I’m sorry,’ I whispered, then when he let me go, he took me and mom out for a movie, then we ate dinner at a posh nosh restaurant up town and then we went over to Sarah’s place, Sarah was two years older than me and much more prettier, she had long blonde hair, a slim figure, green eyes and pink lips, she had beautiful skin and when I asked her how she kept it so pretty, she replied nonchalantly, ‘I drink lots and lots of water, you might wanna try it sometime.’
    One thing I did not like about Sarah was her personality, she was snobbish and rude, she acted as though the world revolves around her and her only, whenever she gets complimented, she doesn’t say thank you, she often says stuff like ‘you know, you’d be like me if you looked after yourself’ or ‘if you wanna be like me, go to a gym’. She’s a spoiled little brat that needs a smack or two, however her mum and dad were the complete opposite, they’re nice and kind and thoughtful, they think of others before themselves and if they accidently hurt someone, they would not stop saying sorry.
    We had tea at their house and made ways back to ours, it was already seven o clock and I was scared I would miss my daily ounce of telly.
    When we returned back to our home, mum made ways to the kitchen, I’d been ordered to change my clothes before watching tv, when I came downstairs, dad was lying on the settee, watching the game.
    ‘Hey poppet, come and sit down, watch the game with me! England’s winning by one! I’ve never been so excited over a game! Oh it should be a good one!’ he said enthusiastically, I however couldn’t share the same amount of enthusiasm. I looked at the clock, ‘oh dad, Popcorn’s giving now, switch it over.’ I asked, knowing he would say yes,
    ‘Sweetie, you can’t watch it now, I have to watch the news, sorry honey.’ He added, but I knew he wasn’t sorry at all, stupid man, ‘no, no, NO! I must watch it! It will not give again! Please dad!’ I begged, he’ll give in...Eventually.
    ‘Of course it will! Honey, I know it will, but you know I can’t miss the news and it definitely won’t give again...even you know that!’ I knew he was right,
    ‘So? What’s wrong with missing it for a day? Dad, have a heart! Please!’ I nearly screamed,
    ‘That’s enough! Watch your tongue, now be quiet and act like a good girl if you don’t want to get grounded!’ he threatened, I was not giving in that easy.
    ‘Why should I? If you cared at least a bit for me, then you’d allow it! Why are you being so selfish?’ I shrieked, and then I wished I hadn’t said that. Dad looked positively livid; it was like I’d slapped him on the face.
    ‘What in the world is going on in here?’ mum asked, she was standing in the doorway, I ignored her.
    ‘Dad, if you don’t give it now, I’m going to run away and never come back!’ I threatened though I would never actually do it. ‘Yeah, ok, you do that, you do that and we’ll see how that plan backfires.’ He laughed then, agitating me, and then another threat hit me like a bolt of lightning.
    ‘If you don’t give me the remote...’ I said slowly. ‘Then, I’ll phone up the Social and tell them.’
    ‘Tell them what? That we didn’t give you the remote? Yeah, they’ll lock us up for life.’ Joked mum, and the fire is just growing bigger and bigger.
    ‘No... I will tell them that you, mom beat me up with a frying pan.’ She gasped...its working! ‘And you, dad, you helped her.’ I sneered at them, knowing that they will understand soon enough. ‘You wouldn’t want that would you? Not only will they take me away from this mad house, but you’ll get sent to jail!’
    ‘So you’re going to lie to them?’ dad asked me, enraged. I nodded. ‘Over a stupid remote, you’ll phone the Social? You’ll lie? You’ll blackmail the two people that took you in when no-one else would? Over a remote, in which that you simply couldn’t live without?’ I nodded.
    ‘I’m not joking, I will do it, now give me the damn remote!’ I shrieked jumping at my father’s hand, mum clutched my waist and pulled me away, I sat on the sofa, crossing my arms and legs. ‘Now you listen here missy, you have just crossed over the line! You will go up to your room, you will not say a word, you will be grounded for a month and we will cut off your pocket money, you will not have the facility to use the phones or anything, now if you don’t shut up while I clean your room up, you will be in more than serious trouble. You got that?’ I didn’t say anything; dad came up to me and said,
    ‘Your mother asked you a question, Kati, you are meant to answer her, without being rude.’
    ‘No, No!’ I shrieked,
    ‘You’re mother asked you a question!’ dad repeated, I knew I had to give in.
    ‘Yes,’ I sighed. ‘I understand.’
    ‘Good. Listen, Kati, you’re not a baby anymore, you’re meant to be more mature and good, what happened to that sweet little girl inside? I bet she’s waiting to come out and flourish.’ Mum said, smiling, I, however was not. ‘She’s gone...killed by Miss Moody Judy.’ I muttered under my breath. ‘Can I go please?’ I asked as politely as I could, for I had known that I’d gone waaaaaay to far, it was dad who answered, a little rudely, ‘Not until your mother and I have checked your room, you know you’ve gone too far with your threats and your crabbiness and your temper, learn to control yourself! Or else we might refer you to a counsellor...we don’t want to do that, we know you don’t want us to do that, so sort yourself out! These threats and tantrums need to end...or else.’ I immediately got scared, what were they to do with me? Were they going to hit me? Or send me back into care, I don’t want to go into care, I love it here so much but I’m just too ungrateful. Yes, I must change, but what if I can’t? What if I’m like this for the rest of my life?
    ‘Honey, go check her room, get rid of any goodies.’ Mum said, startling me from my day dream,
    ‘Err, sweetie,’ dad stuttered, embarrassed. ‘I think you should go check her room, considering she’s changing.’ He was talking about me starting puberty; I’d started my period a couple of months ago and my breast were so big that I have to start wearing a bra.
    I snickered, my dad was going redder and redder by the minute, my mum understood what he meant.
    ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ And she dashed out the door.
    I was feeling rather uncomfortable even though I was sitting on a sofa, dad wouldn’t take his eyes off of me and it was very unsettling. Five minutes later, mum came into the room with my mobile in one hand and the houseline on the other.
    ‘You may leave now, do not leave your room.’ She said coldly, I leapt out of my sofa and ran up the stairs, crying.
    I went into my room and sat on my bed, letting the tears flow, I made no intent on making them
    stop, I tried going to sleep but that didn’t work either, I had the hiccups and I couldn’t stop having nightmares of dad hitting me with his leather belt and mum standing near the doorway, laughing loudly...
    I woke up with a faint gasp, I was sweating so much that I had to go downstairs and have a slurp of some ice cold water.
    I walked as slowly and quietly as I could down the stairs when I heard someone shouting, dad. Another person yelled back, mom.
    I sat on the foot of the stairs and concentrated on the sound of their voice.
    ‘Is it my fault? Did I turn her like this? There’s something called puberty! Maybe you’ve never heard of it considering you’ve never been through it!’ I heard mum yell at dad,
    ‘Did I say it was your fault? Don’t twist my words into something they’ve never been! And FYI I have been through puberty! Where did we go wrong with her?’ I heard dad sigh as he sat down on the kitchen chair. ‘I don’t know, I well and truly don’t, and let’s make an agreement, that we wont argue...she’s driving us crazy, I honestly thought when I saw her in the care home, that she’d be the one...she would fit in so quickly in our house, oh no...’ I heard mum sob, making me feel extremely guilty.
    ‘Maybe there is something we can do,’ I heard a chair scrape the floor as it was pushed back,
    ‘What are you thinking?’ mum asked curiously.
    ‘Well, I don’t like the idea but I think it’s the only thing we can do,’ he sounded concerned,
    ‘Spill it out, Bob, you’re leaving me anxious here,’ urged mum, I held my breath, waiting for the moment.
    ‘We could...we could send her to a boarding school,’ he said, mum gasped at the same time I did.
    How could he say that? How could dad? I thought he loved me! Just today he made me promise I’d never leave him! I know I shouldn’t have trusted him, or mum! I could feel the tears rolling down again.
    No, no way am I leaving for a stupid boarding school without fighting! They can’t shun me out like that, hell no!
    I carried on listening to hear my mum’s reply. ‘Oh... I think you’re right... if she carries on then...’ she muffled the rest out with her sobbing. Great, that’s just absolutely great. My darling mother and father don’t like me no more, but I’m going to make this work...no matter what.
    I ran down the last of the stairs and slammed the door of the kitchen open, they both looked at me, stunned. ‘So that’s your answer isn’t it? Shun me out of your lives! One fight! It was one fight and you’re ready to cut me out of your lives! It shows how strong you are, doesn’t it! It’s a good thing you can’t have kids, because if you did, they’d end up hating you!’
    ‘That’s it, young lady! How dare you? Who do you think you are to talk to your parents like that? It was a thought, but now, after this, yes we might send you so you can learn some manners!’ shouted Bob, his nose flaring; I fell to the ground on my knees. ‘How could you? I thought you loved me! You, my father, at least who I thought was! How could you? You made me promise I wouldn’t leave you! I thought you cared about me! Don’t I mean anything to you? Can’t we make this work somehow? It’s a stage of puberty! It’ll change! I’ll change! I’ll go to a counsellor! Anything! I don’t want to leave! How could you? How could you?’ I kept on repeating, before starting off another round of tears.
    Mom looked at me sadly, and then she came over to me and sat on her knees, putting her hands on my shoulders, ‘Honey, it was a thought! It doesn’t mean we’re going to do it! But sweetie, we cannot handle you anymore! Puberty can change a person! And we do love you! We always will! I’m sorry! But what can we do? You’re out of our hands now... so yes; there is a mighty good hell of a chance that we’re sending you to boarding.’
    I pushed her hands away from my shoulders and said, ‘I’d rather live with the dirtiest, grimiest pigs over you lot.
    So send me boarding! See if I care! But if you do, I guess I won’t call you my parents anymore. Send me! Go on SEND ME! But I won’t be your daughter anymore! Hell, I never was!’ I shrieked harshly. ‘So I’ll take it as a no, you don’t love me, I’m going to bed, Sue, leave me alone.’ And I ran up the stairs, leaving my parents upset, crying and completely traumatized.
    I ran upstairs and locked my bedroom door and wouldn’t stop crying, my parents left me be.



    After a mess of fights, hits (mostly I hitting them), I was literally forced to go to West High Academy, a boarding school for brainy kids. Mum and dad kept on sending letters but I never replied, I was too pissed off with them, but I gave in after six months of not interacting at all with my parents, I was missing them too much, they asked if I would come home for Christmas, but I said no, ‘anything to make this easier for you,’ I said over a letter, but they insisted, but I kept on refusing, saying over and over that I like it here, I don’t think I had fooled them. In truth, I loved it here, like my last school; I became the populist, getting more merits and more certificates in anyone in my whole YEAR! I also started getting a lot of medals, after spending one year at my West High, I already had to start sending them to mum and dad through post.
    I was very popular and got asked out a lot by the time of my second year, but I turned everyone down, I didn’t want to go bad so I remained being a good daughter and then seven years later...here I am! With a great apartment, amazing friends and now the best job EVER! This is
    going to be great! Ooh, I should phone Jessie; Jessie is and always will be my best friend, she’s two months older than me, she’s got a twin brother named Jamie, and she’s married to her boyfriend, Tom after being together for six years.
    I opened my aged phone and dialled her mobile; she must be at work but might as well check.
    ‘Hello?’ a familiar voice answered,
    ‘Hey, Jess it’s me, Kati!’ I replied.
    ‘Oh, hello, how are you?’ she asked me, she sounded tired and ill,
    ‘I’m great, but forget about me, what the hell’s wrong with you?’ I asked her, knowing the answer already, ‘Me? I’m fine, how come you phoned?’ she asked me, blatantly trying to change the subject.
    ‘Don’t give me that crap, I know you inside out, you can’t lie to me.’ I said and I knew she knew I was right. ‘Really, babe, I’m fine.’ She said, obviously not cracking,
    ‘Dude, you know I’m stubborn, but fine! If you won’t give me the truth, I’m coming over, stay right there.’ I said in a motherly type of voice.
    ‘Oh my god, do you have to know bloody everything?!’ she asked in an angry voice.
    ‘OUCH! What the hell’s wrong with you? Why you being mean to me for?’ I said in a hurt voice, she understood, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, honey, it’s just... I dunno...’ she trailed off in thought. ‘so, how come you called?’ she sounded so croaky!
    ‘Love, you sound so bad! My news can wait, I’m coming over.’
    ‘Please,’ she begged. ‘I need my friend, and I’ll tell you what’s wrong but you have to give me the news, deal?’
    ‘You got a deal!’ I said, grabbing my coat, as I hung up the phone.

    ****
    I hurried up the stone steps of the Bingley Home and I rang the doorbell, impatiently, Mrs Bingley answered the door, ‘hello, Kati.’ She said as she opened the door,
    ‘Hullo Mrs Bingley, how’re you today?’ I asked politely.
    ‘I’m doing great, you?’ She replied,
    ‘Oh I’m doing great! Where’s Jessie?’ I asked, peering into the house.
    ‘She’s upstairs, lovie, in the guest room.’ She answered back before going into the kitchen. ‘Shut the door behind you, please.’
    Guest room? Why was Jess in there?
    I shut the door quietly and went up the stairs, into the third room on the right, the door was wide open.
    I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jessie so ghastly, her pink lips were white, she had her hair very messy (like it hadn’t been brushed for days) and her whole face was pale compared to her ice blonde hair, she had a blanket over her and was talking to Tom before she noticed me.
    She gestured me to come forward, but I couldn’t move. Finally, when the feeling came back to my legs, I step forward and walked into the guest room.
    The room was quite small; it had a four poster bed quite close to the door, and two cupboards facing it, a little side table on the farther side of the bed and a window.
    ‘Hi Kati, come in.’ She croaked, making space for me to sit on the edge of the bed.
    ‘Don’t move,’ Tom said, startling me, ‘I’ll pull up a chair.’ He started moving towards a chair in front of the mirror but I told him I’d stand.
    ‘Jess-Jessie, Is that you?’ I stuttered, completely bewildered. ‘What happened to you?’
    She smiled at me, not speaking. I turned to her husband, he was looking at Jess.
    ‘Answer me.’ I said in a tough voice, looking back at Jessica.
    She still wasn’t talking.
    I looked over to Tom, ‘she won’t talk to me...but you will, now tell me.’ He didn’t look at me.
    I was starting to get annoyed, ‘If you don’t answer, I swear to God-’
    ‘Women, you’re getting worried unnecessarily,’ she said,
    ‘Well then, come on! The suspense is killing me.’ I exaggerated, she laughed. ‘I’m glad I make you laugh.’ I muttered.
    ‘Honey, there’s nothing wrong with me... I’m just a little-’ she stood up, letting the blanket fall to the ground. ‘Fat.’ She finished, smiling.
    I stared at her. Oh. My. God. Could Jessie be a little more than fat?
    Well it certainly was a little more than that, for sure, she had a small bump in her stomach, there was absolutely no way, no WAY could my best friend, my Jessie be PREGNANT!
    ‘You’re pregnant,’ I whispered, shocked, I could feel the tears well up as she hugged me, I stood there, still flabbergasted. ‘You’re pregnant.’ I said a little louder.
    ‘Yes, yes I am! I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier, but Tom and I wanted to keep it a secret, but my mum found out when I fainted in the kitchen a couple of hours ago, she brought a doctor around and he announced it, so I told Tom that everyone’s going to find out sooner or later... might as well make it sooner! So when you kept on asking me what was wrong, I didn’t want to tell you over the phone so I made you come over here! I wanted to see your reaction when I told you.’ She explained. ‘I’m sorry.’ She added,
    ‘Sit down, and stop apologising! This is great, oh I’m so happy for you darling, so happy!’ I said as I hugged her again. The tears came out again.
    ‘How many weeks are you?’ I asked her as I let go.
    ‘3 and a half, and that’s not it... I got another surprise!’ she said excitedly.
    ‘You’re not having twins, are you?’ I asked.
    She laughed. ‘No, but since we’re as close as anyone can be and no one can be a better aunt of friend to my baby, so... I kind of want you to...well...be the godmother!’ Another round of tears came as I hugged her once more (boy did I hug her a lot), ‘I’d be honoured.’ I said through tears.
    When we let go, Tom said, ‘well I’ll leave you two ladies alone, call me if you need anything.’ He came over to kiss her, ‘People, people! Get a room!’ we all laughed, and then he left.
    ‘So when you phoned, you sounded like you had some great news, well?’
    ‘Well what?’
    ‘You haven’t lived up to your side of the bargain, what is it?’
    ‘Oh well you know the job interview I went for a couple of days ago?’ Jess started thinking then remembered, ‘Yeah, I remember, what about it? Did you get the job?’ she asked me,
    ‘Yeah, yeah I did! It’s assistant for Kris Marshall!’
    ‘You mean the host of “What’s So Funny?”’ she asked me excitedly,
    ‘Yeah, I start on Saturday!’ I squealed, jumping up and down with excitement.
    ‘Oh my god, no way, now that is unbelievable!’
    ‘I know, can you believe my luck?’ I said.


    We talked and gossiped and laughed about everything, until Tom came in around midnight and said that Jess really needed to sleep, he looked at her in a certain way as if he needed to talk to her about something, I understood the message and said bye to the lucky couple and Mrs Bingley and left their home feeling tremendously content.
    I felt rather sleepy as I drove home into my Audi, so to make myself more awake, I put on a CD and was listening to music before I arrived at my flat.
    I opened the door to my home and went straight to the telly; I turned on the TV and watched the news. Little did I know that the news had passed... four hours ago! I made a quick glance at the clock before I noticed the time, ‘one pm already! Boy did time pass quick!’ I said.
    Godmother! Wow! Won’t this be amazing? My best friend is having a baby! Ooh I must ask her if she knows the gender! But she’s so early I’m guessing she doesn’t.
    I can’t believe at twenty two, she’s going to have her first child! This is going to be great! I’ll ask her tomorrow when her next scan is! I must buy her a present and the unborn child too! Maybe a bassinet for the baby! And perfume or money for Jessica! Tomorrow I’ll go shopping with her and I’ll ask her very nonchalantly if she likes anything in the shop, and if she does choose something, I’ll come back to the shop and buy it for her! She’ll love it!
    Ooh, since I’m going shopping, I should pick up the Argos catalogue, I’ll choose a bassinet from there then I’ll order it!
    Oh if I go shopping tomorrow then I’ll buy some new clothes for Saturday!
    Oh my god! Three more days! I’m feeling soooooooooooo nervous!
    I better get to bed; I don’t want to look like a panda when I see Kris, plus I’m going shopping tomorrow!! biggrin biggrin