• CHAPTER 161 - AKATSUKI'S NOTE

    I stand corrected; there is something more disturbing than what I've been through.

    Before I pressed myself to open the wad of notes, I looked up at Kai, "Akatsuki is still alive, isn't he?"

    Kai nodded slowly, "Yes,"

    My heart was beating erratically; I was happy I was finally getting answers, but I was scared to see the answers. I didn't want to know how much Akatsuki was suffering, but I needed to know. I wasn't going to let my sister's lover live as a Vampire and nearly kill me without getting any answers. What was Aya thinking at the moment? With shaky fingers, I opened up the wad of notes and opted to read to myself in my head.

    Arisa,

    This is dramatic, but by the time you receive this note, my time left will be limited. You've already found out that I've become a monster--and it was the last way I wanted it to happen. The guilt I feel is unbearable. I hurt you badly and I could have even killed you without a second thought. Good thing I gave you that bullet necklace, right?

    I'm sure you were startled when I suddenly attacked you when you came to my apartment earlier today. Don't think the attack was your fault; you didn't know what was wrong with me. I had no clue how sensitive a Vampire's sense of smell was until I experienced it myself. I could smell your blood the instant you pulled up to the parking lot of the apartment. I'd have told you to leave but as soon as I was going to, I attacked you.

    I was too weak for my duties; that explains why I've become a Vampire. I was irresponsible and reckless; I thought I could take on more than one Vampire at once. I thought I was far enough in my training but I proved myself horribly wrong. It happened just about three days ago. The Vampires weren't exorcised, but I thought a couple of bullets would solve everything.

    I won't be surprised if you're angry with me; you tend to be a worry wart. I wouldn't be surprised if Aya was mad at me too. And please don't be angry when I say that my time here is going to come to an end soon.

    See, as a Necromantic Hunter--and an Exorcist--your top duty is to retain your humanity. It's even more important than killing off the creatures. If you ever become one of the enemy, it's all over for you. It's either the hunters hunt you down or you do the duties yourself. I don't want my friends from the society to find out, but they will within a matter of days if I don't finish the job. Honestly, I've been a Vampire for longer than most failed Necromantic Hunters. Most hunters would end their lives on the first day or as soon as the infection would start. I wanted to keep living so I could see if I could pull through the pain but, as Kai said, it takes decades and I'll probably be killed before then. Just please understand where I'm coming from; it's my duty to stay human. I agreed to that term when I was signed up.

    One thing I'm looking forward to, however, is being able to see Aya again, and my parents. I've missed Aya so much but I know I don't miss her as much as you do. It's kind of selfish for me to want such a thing; she's your twin and I was merely a lover. You should be the first to see her and your parents again. But don't rush yourself; you have Kai and the rest of his family. They're your new family, but not replacements. It's never wrong to expand your boundaries a little bit, y'know?

    I'm sorry for all of the wrong I've ever done to you; attacking you, sheltering you, having a relationship with your sister behind your back, and trying to keep you from Kai. It was wrong of me; Kai truly isn't a bad person (and don't think he's forcing me to write that, haha). He told me you two want to plan a wedding; I highly doubt I'll be sane enough to make it. If I end up not making it, I wish you two the best of luck. I can already see you walking down the aisle with a nervous grin on your beautiful face...

    I hope you two can have kids someday. I've always wondered what it would be like to be an uncle, considering I'm an only child. I hope you'll be able to pull through something like that in the future; it's dangerous stuff, but I'm sure your family will be there to help you. I hope you have a girl; just be sure to have a shotgun in hand because it will be beautiful, haha.

    God, I never knew how hard it could be to keep your sanity as a newborn. Even as I'm writing this note, I can smell dozens of different types of blood. Kai is keeping me from leaving for the time being. And, whatever happens to me in the future, don't blame yourself. I know you're the kind of person who blames themselves when something bad happens to a loved one. Just remember that what I'm about to do is part of my duties; the society refuses to allow Vampires, Werewolves, or Succubi in.

    That month you stayed with me when Kai left you was probably the best month of my life up to date. I had never had so much fun or company for the past two and a half years. I felt as though we developed a deeper connection, like we grew much closer (haha, listen to me, I sound like a hippie (and hey, you showed me how to make real food instead of microwaveables)). I know I reacted badly to Kai leaving you, but I ended up understanding where he was coming from. He wanted to protect you, but your love for him was much too strong to stay away any longer. I know you're happier than you have been for a while now, and I'm thankful to Kai for accomplishing that.

    The time is nearing for me to probably start wrapping up this note. What's going to happen is for the best. I miss Aya, I miss your parents, I miss my parents, I miss my friend I lost a few months ago...life is too short for some people. You were the only family I had left and I suppose I ended up befriending Kai and his family too, haha. My mom and dad died five years ago when I was fourteen years old...I miss them so much. And, if I end up in the right place, maybe Aya and me could tell your parents about the relationship we hid from them. We're going to be together once more...forever.

    Don't be afraid, Arisa. You're a strong girl and anybody knows that. You've gone through the worst in life so far and here you are, still kicking. You'll be short one guardian but, rest assured, I'll be watching you. I won't do my duties immediately, but I won't wait too long. Please don't blame yourself; it's not healthy for you and it was nowhere near your fault. You have a new family that will keep watch over you and make sure you're safe. You're Kai's lover now. You're a woman now, Arisa.

    Just remember that Aya, your parents and I will be waiting for you and everybody else. And don't rush into anything; go at your own pace. Live your life how you want it but please, don't let this hang around you. A human life is too short to worry and dwell (great, I'm already speaking like a Vampire). As Aya said "you can remember me, just don't dwell on me", which is what's been imprinted into my head since the day she died and it's helped me through a lot. Please keep that in mind.

    I'm sorry, Arisa, but it's time for me to go now. I'm sorry I can't say goodbye in person, and I'm sorry I'll probably never be able to see you again. Not the greatest way to depart, is it? I'm sorry I'll be missing out on everything in the future. We'll all be seeing you again, but hopefully not soon.

    Once again, I'm sorry, and I hope you understand why I'm doing what I'm going to do.

    LYLAS (love you like a sis (haha, I'm sounding weird again))

    Love Always,

    Sangatsu Akatsuki

    The tears instantly streamed down my face and I broke down, dropping the sheets of notebook paper and embracing Kai. I buried my face in his shoulder and continued to cry as he slowly embraced me as well. I couldn't believe what I had read; Akatsuki was going to kill himself. That was probably what Kai warned me about; he said something in the note would disturb me.

    "There's more," Kai mumbled, pulling away from me and picking up a small brown box from the ground. He set it on my lap. "He gathered them from your house shortly after your parents' deaths."

    I paused, "Gathered what?" I asked as I took the box in my hands.

    Instead of waiting for Kai to answer me, I untied the string on the box and lifted the lid. I reached my hand in and pulled out a large stack of old photos. Crying again, I started to sift through the photos. Everything was there; photos from when Aya and I were born up until one of her last days. One of my favorite photos I had always loved was from Aya and mine's fourth birthday party; we had vanilla cake with strawberry frosting and there was frosting all over our faces from having a frosting fight. We did that with every birthday. There was also a photo snuck in of Aya and Akatsuki when they were dating; the shine in their eyes were so bright and beautiful. They were truly in love with each other.

    "Oh God..." I cried. "H-he saved the photos..."

    "Do you regret reading the note?" Kai asked me, cupping my wet face.

    I lightly shook my head, "No...I got the answers I wanted. I just wish he wouldn't have mentioned the suicide part."

    "It's better for you to be acknowledged than to discover it unexpectedly," he sighed. "Are you alright?"

    I shook my head again, "I-I don't think I can handle another death," I sobbed. "I can't stand to have another loved one die!"

    "Just follow what he advised you," Kai stared at me in the eyes. "Don't dwell on his upcoming death; you need to be strong, Arisa."

    I looked down and continued to cry; my heart was so heavy with grief and sorrow. My questions were answered, but I didn't care about the answers anymore; I cared about Akatsuki's life. What a cruel thing for the Society to do; kill one of their own if they forcibly became one of the enemy. No matter how good of friends they are...they kill each other when things go bad.

    "M-maybe you could teach him how to overcome the cravings," I sniffed. "Even Kira was able to pull through."

    "If he wasn't part of the Necromantic Hunter society, he would try to make it through," Kai sighed. "It's their duty to rid the society of the weak."

    "He's not weak!" I blustered. I stared at Kai for another moment before I leaned my head against his chest and sobbed. "Distract me."

    "How?" Kai whispered, pressing his lips against my head.

    I pursed my lips together, "Any way; I don't care."

    Kai kissed my cheek, "I can do that for you,"

    I felt horrible; Akatsuki was going to kill himself eventually. His feelings about ending it all hopefully wouldn't be as strong if he hadn't attacked me, but it was doubtful. It was his duties; his main priority was to stay human and he failed. I had never imagined keeping your humanity was as important as killing the enemy...