• CHAPTER 164 - I'M MISSING YOU

    He's gone...but for how long? Where?

    As I sat on the bed with my new pile of clothes to pick from surrounding me, I continued to count the minutes. Kai had been gone for two days so far. Nobody had heard anything from him; we never found out where he was or how long he would be gone. Every few hours, I would end up having a panic attack after thinking Kai was gone for good or that he was being forced to plan my demise.

    There were only a couple of times where I would have hope of Kai returning; he wouldn't leave me so abruptly, would he? He would at least say a few last words instead of saying he had to leave, right? But he said he would send me across the world and I was still sitting in Matsuda and Orihime's house. Maybe he went across the world instead...

    "My head hurts," I groaned as I laid myself down on one of the couches downstairs. "It's throbbing."

    "You worry too much, darling," Matsuda sighed as he handed me a couple of aspirin and a glass of water. "Get some rest."

    "I'll worry until I know Kai is okay," I mumbled and took the pills. "Or until he comes back."

    Matsuda took the glass and walked away. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Kai's number and held the phone up to my ear, hoping I would hear Kai's delicate voice. The call went straight to his voicemail without ringing; his phone was off. That was probably my twentieth time calling Kai and every time, there was never a ring.

    "Kai...call me back," I mumbled into the phone. "I love you..."

    I hung up the phone and sighed, burying my face in the couch cushion. I had been shutting myself out of the world; I was focused on only Kai. Maybe I was too focused, though. I was a guest at Matsuda and Orihime's house; I needed to be more social.

    "How is your arm feeling?" Kira asked as he sat on the couch across from me, taking a sip of his cup. He still wasn't fully recovered; the miasma was proving to be stubborn with him.

    I held my arm up to my face and sighed, "It's doing a little better,"

    "That's going to be one nasty scab to pick," Kira chuckled, grinning widely.

    I sighed irritably, "I'd rather not think of that; I have a headache."

    "Once your headache is gone, what say we play some video games?" he suggested. "It should distract you enough."

    I pursed my lips together, "Your brother is an idiot..."

    Kira chuckled and sighed, "Yes, I suppose he is,"

    "Are you sure you haven't heard from him?" I mumbled and looked over at Kira. "You haven't gotten any phone calls or anything?"

    Kira shook his head regretfully, "No, I haven't," he sighed again. "If I had, I'd have forced him to come back."

    I sighed, "I never should have taken our relationship to the next level," I scoffed. "I'm only putting him through more pain."

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    "Kai, please answer me," I pleaded into the phone, leaving yet another voice mail. "You could answer me, at the least...I need to know you're okay..."

    I closed my phone, dropped it onto the ground, buried my face in my arms on my knees, and cried. Another two days passed and still no word from Kai; not even Matsuda or Orihime had heard from him. I was starting to give up hope; I figured Kai was never returning. My wound wasn't nearly as bad as what could have happened.

    I dialed Kai's number again for the thirtieth time and it rang a couple of times before going to voice mail. I took a breath, "Kai, answer your goddamn phone," I started crying. "You're worrying me sick! You could at least answer!"

    "Oh hello, sweetheart," a familiar voice chimed into the phone, but it wasn't the voice I was hoping it would be. "So many missed calls."

    My heart stopped and I covered my mouth, "M-Minoru...?"

    "Nice of you to remember me," he chuckled. "How have things been holding up for you?"

    "Don't you play any goddamn tricks on me!" I shouted. "Where the Hell is Kai?!"

    "Now, now, let's not rush into things," Minoru huffed. "I asked you a question."

    I started crying again, "Please don't do this," I lowered my head. "I just want to talk to Kai."

    "Answer my question first,"

    I pursed my lips together and closed my eyes, feeling my anger rise, "Horrible," I admitted with a clenched jaw. "Because of what Hisao has done, my life has been miserable because Kai is miserable!"

    "How is he in bed?" he chuckled.

    "Shut up!" I shouted again. "Don't you dare ask such a question!"

    "Do you want to speak with Kai or not?"

    I started to cry again, lying on the bed, "Please don't ask me such things,"

    "Farewell, then,"

    "No!" I pleaded. "Please don't hang up--he-he's...he's...amazing," I winced. I felt so rotten revealing such intimate details to such a monster.

    There was a long monotone buzz on the other line and I snapped my phone shut, throwing it against the ground. I shouted out in anger and buried my face in my pillow to cry. I thought I had my chance to talk to him; what was Minoru doing with Kai's phone? I should have known better; I should have known that Minoru would ask me a private question and never give me what I want.

    "Stupid," I cried, referring to Kai, Minoru and myself. "Stupid, stupid..."

    "Arisa, what's the matter?" Matsuda opened the bedroom door and stepped in. "Did something happen?"

    "My head hurts," I gripped my hair. "I feel nauseous..."

    "I'll bring you medicine," Matsuda pursed his lips. "It's best if you turn off your phone."

    "But what if Kai calls?" I looked over at him. "I know it's been four days...but you never know..."

    Matsuda sighed, "Alright. But it's causing you to be sick."

    "I'm used to it," I hissed, burying my face in my pillow. I really was a pissy-pants when it came to Kai's spontaneous absences.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    I hadn't noticed myself twitching and flinching in my sleep, but I knew I was having the same old nightmare. It was my parents' murder again--the first time I had that nightmare since...well, a few months ago. Something bone-chillingly cold brushed against my cheek and I gasped sharply, flinching even more. I snapped my eyes open and looked up to see a shadow with red eyes looking over me.

    "Kira?" I whispered. "Wh-what are you doing?"

    "Arisa," he whispered, but that wasn't Kira.

    "Kai?" I whispered again and sat up a little. After seeing his fang earring glimmer in the moonlight, I gasped and embraced him around his neck. "Kai!"

    He shrugged me off of him and exhaled sharply, "Not so suddenly,"

    My anger kicked in and I slapped Kai across the face, numbing my hand. He acted as a human would and took the full brunt of the slap, "You idiot!" I started crying. "I've been lying here sick since you left!"

    "I apologize," he mumbled.

    "My head has been killing me and I have no appetite! I've hardly eaten!" I sobbed. "You could have at least answered when I called! Or called back!"

    "I apologize," he mumbled again.

    "You better be sorry," I cried. "Where the Hell were you?"

    "I was with Hisao," he admitted.

    "You're so stupid," I buried my head in Kai's chest. "I thought you left for good."

    "No," Kai mumbled and slowly embraced me, wincing a little. "I merely had to discuss with Hisao."

    "You could have answered my calls," I cried again. "That's the least you could have done for me, and for everybody else."

    "They compensated it from me," he sighed. "Had I seen you called me, I'd have answered in a heartbeat."

    I sniffed and sighed, "Minoru answered today,"

    Kai flinched a little, "What did he say?"

    I paused for a moment, "Nothing. I just asked if you were there and he hung up."

    Kai embraced me, sitting on the bed and kissing my head, "I apologize,"

    I looked up at Kai and wiped my tears away and finally noticed the gray lines under his eyes after my eyes adjusted to the dark, "You look tired,"

    "I am," he nodded. "I haven't slept in days."

    I laid down on the bed and faced my back towards him. He climbed in after me and carefully wrapped his arms around me from behind. We both sighed simultaneously and paused for a long moment. Kai was finally back; I wouldn't have to worry so much anymore. At least, not for the time being.

    "I'm sorry," I whispered, "for hitting you,"

    Kai kissed my head, "You had a blind moment of anger. And I deserved it." he sighed. "I should have told you--at the least--where I went."

    "That's the second time I've ever hit you," I closed my eyes and pursed my lips. "And I pretty much hurt you on a daily basis now. I should just go to Hell..."

    Kai hovered over me and flipped me onto my back. I stared at him with pain on my face and he stared at me with a hard complexion, "Don't ever say that, Arisa," he brushed my bangs around. "If there's anybody who deserves to go to Hell, it's me. I'm too weak to break the contract and I should have kept you away from me long ago." His complexion softened. "I shouldn't have kept you here for so long."

    "But I'm hurting you so much more than you're hurting me," I raised my fingertips to brush across his cheek and he flinched. "You're in pain every time I touch you."

    "My pain is something I can shrug off, something that's not physically evident," he also brushed his fingertips against my cheek. "But you always have some sort of physical, evident pain."

    I smiled lightly, "Let's face it...we're both going to Hell."