• Yeah, okay, I admit I could be kinda a b***h at times. I mean, come on, I was 16, going on 17 and well, the people around me were SO MUCH different then I...it made me sick, it really did. Heh, speaking of sick, depending on what kind of person you are, man, by the time October came around, I still went to church with my dad, only, it wasnt for the service anymore. I sat there secretly texting this guy I knew..I swear, he had a good heart- he really did even though it was in the wrong place. He took a cota bus alll the way from german villiage to meet me in front of the building so I could buy drugs off of him. See, I would tell my dad I'd be right back, I had to pee or something...then I would stand out front and wait a minute or so before I'd see him walking across the parking lot. Anyways, the day in October was the day I first laid eyes on LSD, and I tell you what, it wasnt funk. After two weeks of waiting, Keely came over to be my "baby sitter" and on Oct 30, the day before halloween, I dont know what the hell I was thinking, I really dont. I laid two tabs on my tounge and sucked on them for a good...two minutes, at least. Funny thing, it was a warm night for the end of october...we sat around waiting on my porch when, these huge rain clouds came rushing in
    "hey keely...do those things look like they're flying like birds to you?"
    "No, Jen...no, they dont"
    I stared at it some more before I realised, I was really about to trip. hard.
    "Oh man I need a wet cloth..or..something..."
    Me and keely gave up and went to the basement...so much for staying out all night. I sat there looking around the waiting for something to happen, when I looked at the floor. I tell you what, the most interesting thing about that whole night, was the damn basement carpet. It looked like giant, carpet colored snowflakes... I really didnt want to do anything else besides watch it all night, well, that and a few other things, like the walls, the windows and my sheets. I kept seeing this clear neon oozing gell coming from the bed sheets, and when I laid on my back and played with my hands, these planet like orbs danced up into the ceiling. God, that was a wild night, that is untill I lost my s**t the next morning. Literally. the hallucinations stopped, but man, my mind was still blown to pluto. my thoughts kept repeating themself, I swear..I thought I'd be that way forever. I sat there in a corner rocking back and fourth crying...but still, that wasnt even the worst of it...the worst thing ever happened long after the trip was over, when I realised, I'd done a hell of a lot worse damage then having a bad trip...
    See, I kept having this weird double vision( "ghosting). It didnt stop, even for three weeks after I tripped, And lights...they just didnt look the same, they had halos and star bursts around them, like some kind of scifi movie. and there were these weird trails coming off of things. It got annoying, it rerally did, especially the double vision...not only that but, I had a bad sensation of anxiety that kept coming back and slapping me in the face at the worst of times...I just really felt I'd died and gone to hell. Heh, at one point I was taking a bath, and I seriously thought I wasnt in my own bathroom..I cant explaine it, but uh...something about the room felt foreign to me. Scared the hell out of me, so I looked it up...all the symptoms I mean. Man what came up was something called HPPD. a few words caught my attention
    "permanent", "no known treaatment", "caused by hallucinagins", "little known".
    God...I sat there thinking it couldnt be. But then, I knew it was...I knew it was...
    flashback diary entry: October 1, 2008-
    I'm getting ready for my vacation to Germany in November..but before that-.my birthdays coming up, I cant wait...we're going to a haunted prison in I think...mansfield? Well, its supposed to be the best one there is...I hope Claire is good this year, only, she picked up smoking. My english teacher gave me a great grade on that drawing book I made. I love those kinds of projects. This has to be the best class I've taken so far-