• I read somewhere that real love was giving someone a part of yourself and expecting nothing in return. As sure as the sun in the day and the moon in the night, I did just that and got something far more than nothing in return.
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    How had she gotten here? How had all of this happened? After all the crying, screaming, fighting- it had all come to this. Tears in her eyes, she stepped up on the counter and, kneeling, reached across the kitchen to the top of the refrigerator where she kept them. The bottles seemed so small and cold in her hands. Opening them was next to impossible, she couldn’t calm her shaking hands. Closing her eyes, she sunk off the counter and onto the floor. Was this right? Could she go through with it? Everyone had always said that what her mother had done was selfish. That she had gone to hell because of what she did and some even went so far as to say that she deserved it. But there was a difference between she and her mother. Her mother hadn’t killed herself.

    She was murdered. And Juliet had lived her whole life knowing that it was the man that claimed he loved her more than the world itself that had done it. This surge of anger and sadness pushed her forward toward the end of the ledge she was on. She opened the bottle with ease this time and, without opening her eyes, swallowed all of the pills it had contained. Each pill began to dissolve and left a sickening taste, but she managed to choke them all down. She dropped the bottle and cradled her head in her hands. How had she gotten to this place? Was this how it was supposed to end?

    She lifted her head, opening her eyes, and saw through the tears the letters from Amy that she had placed on the refrigerator. Without standing, Juliet reached for the closest of the letters. The magnet dropped to the tile floor with a loud clatter but she paid no attention to it. She wiped away the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and read the letter over.

    May 15th 2007- Juliet, I got your card the other day. Thanks. Mother’s day has always been hard since Mom died, but it’s nice to know that I have a big sister who’s always there when I need her. Mom may be watching us from heaven, but it’s almost as if she’s still alive in you. I couldn’t imagine having a better big sister.

    She dropped the letter to her lap and laid her head back against the oven door. Her mom had left her and Amy behind. It was hard enough to grow up as ‘the girl whose mom had killed herself’. Now Juliet was leaving Amy to deal with life without her. That wasn’t fair. But then again, life wasn’t fair. If it was, she wouldn’t have had to watch her father kill her mom. She wouldn’t have married that son of a b***h Brian. He wouldn’t have tried to kill her. She wouldn’t be here on the kitchen floor, thinking about all of this after downing a whole bottle of painkillers.
    ---
    Walking down the hall toward her parents’ bedroom, Juliet tried to convince herself that it was just a figment of her imagination. She prayed she wasn’t hearing the sounds she thought she heard as she peered around the corner at the end of the hall and into the room.

    “I’ve told you time and time aga-- Stand up and look at me when I’m talking to you!” He grabbed Diane’s upper arm and forced her to stand. “All I ask of you is to have this place cleaned up when I get home! Is it that had?! You sit on your a** all day and don’t lift a ******** finger! I come home and this place looks like s**t! You can’t do a damn load of laundry while I’m gone?! What the ******** is wrong with you?!”

    He shoved her backwards onto the bed and held her down. All she could do was try not to cry as he yelled- inches from her face. He lowered his voice so she could hear the hatred behind each of his words. “What in God’s name gives you the right to think you don’t have to do as I tell you? I’ve done everything for you and you sit on your a** and do nothing. I’ve brought you into this house and kept you off of the streets where you belong. And that’s all you’ll ever be- a worthless whore who deserves to be out there!”

    He pushed her into the mattress one last time before standing up at the foot of the bed. Trying to keep whatever dignity she had left, Diane sat up but kept her eyes low. “Richard-” Without a blink, he struck her across the face, knocking her onto the floor. “When will you learn, woman? Your apologies mean nothing.”

    From her place in the hall, it took Juliet all of her strength not to scream and run to her mother. She had made that mistake before.
    ---
    The cold linoleum floor woke her from her nightmare filled sleep. She had somehow managed to escape the hands of death one more time although she wished she hadn’t. Her heart pounded and a million thoughts raced through her mind. Why was she still alive? Was it for a reason? Why couldn’t God spare her the heartache she felt and just take her from this world? They were all valid questions but none were given answers.

    The tears fell silently down her cheek as she tried to keep her composure. Crying at this point would get her nowhere. It seemed like nothing she did could take this pain away. Life simply wasn’t going right. She was alone and afraid to face the next day for fear things would only get worse. Glancing at the clock, it read 12:42 PM. This horrid day was still not over. Somehow, she managed to stumble to her feet and make her way to the bedroom where she collapsed on the bed.

    Reaching across to one of the many empty notebooks and unused pens on the bookshelf beside her bed, she scribbled down the date and a single phrase. I hate you. It was true enough that she felt the burning sensation of hatred as it twisted her stomach in knots but who was it she hated? She thought it over and set the pen to the paper once more. Each stroke scratched against the page as it left its darkened mark.