In my first day of nursery.. I fell down the stairs... I-I want to go home.. because-
"Hahaha!Look everybody!She's such a weak crybaby clumsy girl that she fell down the stairs!"
"Hahahaha, bet she want to shout 'Mommy~! I'm scared!' "
I-I'm not wea- Oh no.. tears.. they'll fall down.. I-I have to stop my tears.. I can't cry infront of them... For sure they'll just laugh at me... I'm really such a crybaby...
"Ahahah she's going to cry!!"
I- Oh no.. Its falli-
"Bullies. Go back to your mothers. So what if she's weak? she can become stronger. So what if she's a crybaby? She's a girl. B-U-L-L-I-E-S. Dummy... "
A boy... appeared infront of me... thanks God... t-they didn't saw my tears.. thanks to him... he's so nice..
"Du-Dummy?I-I- Mommy!!!! WAHH!!"
"Tch." he said in a slight whisper.
T-They ran away..Crying.
Oops.. I laugh. He-He'll think I'm bad..
"Hmm..You're laugh just now.. Its cute!"
C-Cute?! T-That .. Huh? My heart.. just now its beating so fast?!! MAYBE .. I'm SICK!! Oh no.. I-I don't wanna die yet..
That's how its started.. My first love.
Girl name : Yumi , Boy name : Shiro , Extra : Lynn <- friend , Mrs. Shizuka , Mr. Shizuka . <- They are Shiro's parent.
He and I became friends.. a very close friends... we always tell each other secrets and many things~! and sometimes I just get shy all of a sudden , my face getting red.. and its really weird when my heart just beat so fast when I'm with him.. well maybe I'm sick after all? well nevermind.. but I really wonder "What is this sickness?" .
We've always been together start from nursery,kinder 1,kinder 2 but then when we graduated to elementary... our section is different.. he is at section B and I'm A... and what's more the section B class starts at noon.. and we start at morning. So.. we.. never talk with each other.. though.. I guess it's fine I'll talk to him when we meet at the hallway at dismissal time...
When the school bells ring, I hurriedly get my bag and start to look for him at the hallway..
"Oh.. Found him!"
He was... kind of a bit tall from the last time we met.. his hair has grown longer..his face seems a little bit masculine not like a baby face.. than when we are in kinder 2.. AND .. I suddenly got shy.. Words.. I need to call out to him.. but I can't speak.. I'm getting nervous.. Why?
"I can't take this anymore.. I-I'll try talking to him tomorrow.."
Then after that day.. and then another day.. another day.. week has passed .. I always say 'Tomorrow again!I'll try for sure!' .. Then I found myself being a coward.. I can't continue like this forever..
"TOMORROW SURELY!" I promise myself.
But then when I was going to meet him that day.. something happened.
As I finally got words out of my mouth.. I've gone speechless after what I saw..
H-He was not there alone anymore.. There was a girl beside him and they we're talking with each other so casually like they've known each other for so long..
I should be the one there.. laughing with him and talki--...
They fell out from my eyes.. and a sharp pain of throb.. in my heart.. ' Is this another.. sickness?' .. but its different from before..
"Why? I-If only I talk to him yesterday .. I-I should be-- Why?!"
I can't take this pain anymore.. so I ran and ran, away from this pain.. I will never go to the hallway again to see him.. I’ll never say those words again ' Tomorrow surely.. ' because there will be no tomorrow again.. never again..
Whenever I remember him I always feel my heart throbbing with such pain.. I can't really be like this forever.. I decided then, to forget him.. forever.. I'll never see him again.. because he betrayed me.. he taught me this PAIN. I hate him. I'll always hate him!
I've always always blame him.. and ran away from the truth.. that I..
Then I became a grade 2 , grade 3 student.. Then my family and I moved to US .. I studied there too until I've graduated into highschool.. but.. why does I always felt that I've forgotten something? or felt that I have to do.. that I have leave something precious to me there?.. In my country that is.
I've met a guy... He was handsome,nice ,tall ,smart and he's very popular AND a kind of guy that will never leave you~! I like him! no, I LOVE him~~! He became my boyfriend when I asked him out when we were in our second year.. I've love him for 1 year and half~! and I thought that he WAS my first love, my first boyfriend, and he even got my first kiss.. I'm so so so happy.. I've got to know someone who thought me love for the first time.. first time... right?
I can't remember..
And then after we dated for a few months. Every girl in this world would cry if the person they’ve always always loved, had broke with them.. But why am I here still and silent. When he broke up with me I didn’t even shed a single tear and I didn’t felt a thing at all.
He said he always had liked me but I looked like I'm not really happy when I'm with him.
Happy?.. I'm always happy when I'm with you right?.. Because you never hurt me.. you're not like someone I once knew.. Huh?
Knew?.. I don't know.. Nevermind..
Then my friend said that there was a site.. its called 'Facebook' I guess .. I'm not really into social sites but they forced me to create an account and add all of them into my friendlist and stuff.. and maybe I can get a boyfriend or something THEY said...
BUT.. I've never thought that.. You can.. add the people in you're past.. I've never thought that this day would come...
"Oh.. A friend suggestion?"
I see.. so you can suggest friends not only add them!Cool..
Who would request someone to me?
"L-Lynn? Hmm.. Lynn? .. LYNN?! "
I remember now!She's my bestfriend when we we're in grade 1!
I quickly send her a friend request. I wonder if she'll add me..
And then after a couple of days she finally add me..
Then we passed from being a second year into our fourth year... I'm sixteen now.
Suddenly I got a Private message in my inbox from Lynn..
When I've read it... It almost break my heart into pieces...
"Hi Yumi.. Sorry for taking your time right now but please .. i beg you.. please come back here.. He needs you.. You knew who I am talking right?.. Please.. I beg you.. "
I knew him?.. Who?
I don't know.. But I felt my heart... It’s throbbing with pain... Why?..
I decided to go back to my hometown and when I've arrived at home.. An old lady and an old man is standing there infront of the house...
They're calling me.. They know me.. I don't know them.
Then the old lady asked me to come inside..
I sat at the middle of the sofa and then the old lady sit beside me, she gently hold my hand and start speaking.
"Yumi.. You.. still know him right?.. Shiro.."
Shiro?.. Who's that?..
"I'm sorry but I don't know him..”
"Do you really?.. Back then you said you’ll marry him som---" Without giving her a second to finish her sentence. I shouted.
"I said I don't know him!"
"He need you!He's at the hospital…"
My heart.. it’s in so much pain when she said 'hospital' .. Why? Why is my heart telling me to listen.. But my mind is telling me to stop…
"I-I don't know him.."
"He's at the hospital behind the Mall and his roo-"
Please stop.. Stop.. At this rate..
"His room number is 2-04.."
"Hurry.. now is the right time..!"
Oh no.. I quickly get up and run outside.. Why?
Why can't I control my body.. Its running on its own.. Who is he? To control my heart...
Then behind the Mall is the hospital.. I hurriedly run there and when I got there I ask the nurse where is.. his room..
'Where is his room..?"
"Um.. excuse me but can you please tell me his name?"
"Name... he is.. S-Shizuka Shi-ro.."
Tears.. They're falling from my eyes.. Why do I know him?..
"Room 2-04 The visiting ho-"
I run quickly at the hallway then the stairs to the second floor.
Everyone was looking at me and whispering to each other. But I don’t care to my surroundings… I just want to.. see him.
"2-04 .. F-Found it.."
My heart is beating so fast that I could almost imagined it leaping out of my heart in any second.
"I'm so nervous.."
I inhaled and exhaled repeatedly until I calmed down a bit.
I grip the door knob and turned it.
He was sitting on the bed.. He was looking gently outside the window.. His eyes.. we're so lifeless.. as if he was waiting for someone to come after many years.. but that person didn't come when he called out to... her.
Suddenly.. Memories of the past gushed out like a river in my head.. The day when I met him.. When he kiss me at the playground.. When he hold my hand when we were running at the hallway.. When he smile at me.. When.. He taught me how to.. Loved.
I didn't notice myself crying.. My heart is beating so fast.. and at the same time is in pain.
My mind is telling me to go away. My heart is telling me to stay. I…
I choosed to stay.
“I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry... I acted so dumb like I've forgotten you.. and the people who know you.. like you’ve never exist in my life but.. I-I'm so sorry.. When I was running at the hallway, when I was at the stairs, at the street..I was thinking of you... I'm so sorry.. Shiro..I'm sorry I blame you...for myself being a coward..."
He was looking at me.. so lifeless and as if he doesn't know me...
"Why are you crying?.." He asked me. “Why?..”
Crying? I see. I'm crying.. When my boyfriend broke up with me.. I'm not crying.. no I never cried... When it doesn't concern you.
Then he smiled.. and speak those words..
"Who are you?.."
Who are you?.. No way.. Y-You've forgotten me.. Why?..
By his words I can't stop myself now.. I quickly ran to him and hugged him tightly.
But I've never thought, He..
Would never forget me after those years... after all that had happened.
"Yes! I'm back.. finally.. I got to talk to you again."
I held him in my arms and wished for one thing.
I wished we will always, always stay like this forever.
I've never thought that the tomorrow that I thought would never exist again... continued to move towards the future.
He has an illness when he will forgot everything that had happen in his life as he grow older…
But he never forgot me.. I always remained in his heart...
There's a letter in his room. It’s for me.
" Dear Yumi,
I'm sorry... I never talk with you when we graduated to elementary. That's because when my parents told me about my sickness.. I knew I will only caused you pain. I will only make you cry. I will only caused you're heart to break into pieces. Do you know..when I saw you looking at me at the hallway when we were in grade 1.. I didn't look at you but when you look back I've always looked at you even if all I saw is you're back getting distant and further away from me... After all those years.. I've always yearned for you.. so.. I promise you.. surely when the time had comes when I've forgotten that sweet smile of yours. Please remember.. I'll never forget the warmth of those hand that guided me in this Summer… Bliss. I'm glad I’ve met you in my life.. before I've forgotten that I've exist...Thank you.
Then slowly... We will make new memories even if he would someday forget me, I will always still be by his side for my whole life.”
Then the two of us will continue to look forward for the future. Happily together.
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