• when i was a kid i used to see albums full of my brother's pictures when the born , and when i ask why don't i have pictures of me when i born the answer was always :because you born in war .
    i'm still wondering was i pretty or ugly when i born ?
    maybe Bush the father can answer me .
    i'm just wondering
    i lived in a house among Saddam's castle , the minestries houses and Baghdad airport .
    when i turned 12 , i witnessed the war .
    on the first day i was so scared espeacialy when i saw our house shaking after each explosion but then i knew that when i hear the sound of explosion that means i'm alive .
    dispite my older brother's begging to go to safer place i chose to stay at home , and if i ment to die than i want to die in the place i born and raise in .
    i wonderd if i made the right disicion but now i know i did because i saved an Iraqi life with this disicion .
    i'm just wondering
    i was 14 when i joined my first painting contest and won the 3rd place in entire Jordan , the prize was a trip to France .but i wasn't allowed to go because i'm Iraqi and there is no place for Iraqi girl to live her life .
    i stopped drawing for 6 months
    i'm wondering if the best thing happend to me was the worst thing .
    i'm just wondering
    when a Jordanian girl tells me to stop loving Iraq that much and to look around me to see that Iraq is not the best place ever and if i don't like her country, just to get lost and go home .
    i'm wondering if she's jealous of Iraq or me ??
    i'm just wondering
    yet i have to wonder about the most important thing ;
    Do i have a future ?
    i'm just wondering