• She had been using drugs since before I ever met her. She smoked pot and opium, snorted coke, dropped acid and popped any pills she could get her hands on. When we met, I smoked pot occasionally and was a frequent drinker. Soon, she pulled me into the dark spiral in which she lived. I began to try just about every narcotic under the sun. I began smoking heavily and popping Vicadin like it was candy. Most of all, however, I absolutely loved cocaine.

    Not long after, we began to show our true selves to each other. When you are that deep in the fog that surrounded us, you just don't care what others think of you. Even the ones you love more than anything. We did love each other, but we had some issues that got in the way. I, being a paranoid schizophrenic, and her being the paranoid obsessive compulsive addict that she was, we were constantly suspiciuos and hardly ever gave each other any time alone. We were each convinced that the other was plotting against us. Unfortunately, our paranoia was not completely unfounded.

    Though we f**ked like animals on a regular basis and almost never left each other's side, we still found ways to be unfaithful. It really is astounding what you'll do when you're high. Before this, I always thought that, if given the oppertunity, I would never cheat on someone, no matter who it was. I was wrong. Her name was Alyssa. I dont remember her very well to be honest. She had red hair, I remember that. And beautiful adolescent body taht was well preportioned to her hight. She was gorgeous. Not gorgeous enough to make me forgot about Madison's bleach blonde hair, curvacious figure and lips designed for the soul purpouse of... well... Anyway, as I said, Alyssa wasn't enough to make me forget about Madison, but between her body and the QP of weed that sat on her kitchen table, I was able to block her, Madison, out of my mind for a while.

    Alyssa was a one time thing. I never even saw her again. Madison never even knew about it... Im not she if she does to this day. Now her on the other hand, well, that comes later....

    Now, Alyssa was sometime within the first... 3 months of Madison's and my relationship. About the same time, Madison and I were constantly trying to pick away any remaining traces of each other's sanity. We would be seen in public being sweeter than honey to each other but behind closed doors, we were so different. I would leave messages on Madison's phone to remind her that I hated every molecule in her body and she would constantly beat the living Hell out of me. Especially during sex.

    We may have had our problems but through it all, the sex was the only thing that we could never complain about. We both loved the chance to hurt the other as much as possible for we were, and are, both sadomasochists. We had too many scars to count from each other. Both emotional and physical.

    We were miserable throughout, but we were happy in our misery. It felt... right. As if the universe wanted us the way we were.

    And then she went and cheated on me. Big mistake. It also marked the highest... or maybe lowest... point in our relationship.