done wishing...

• Artist: sharingan kainon
• Description: this is my 10th poem, im posting it first cause its one of my best
  hope u guys like this!!!!!!
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags:

im done wishing it was me
because thats not what you happen to see

the secrets and compliments
help my confidence
yet they burn me down

i think i made my clues too clear
for now im begging to fear
you really dont care

I share what makes me unique
but your intrest really is weak
for i think you have a technique
of making me get over you

now every little action
is breaking into fractions
my usual atraction
to you

infact
maybe i should thank you.

Comments

[Lord_Aubrey_Shade]

the lines "for now I'm begging to fear/you don't really care" don't make much sense. They seem out of context.
GREAT fourth stanza. Awesome rhyme. like the fifth stanza and the ending, also. Well done.

[RockStarCourtney]

I think you are an amazing writer and i love the poem but it just rythms to much and sounds so unprofessional

[Fancy Kami]

Very Nice, but I believe it would be more...professional if you would use proper grammar and punctuation. Like using capitalization. It would make it seem like you were being serious and are really trying hard. Just a suggestion. Good work besides that! 3/5

[vampiress45]

this ones good I liked it and I find what you put in this poem to be true
so good job

[Secret Agent Cookie]

Hmmm, it has a lot of emotions and to me feels like it can become a rap song for some reason xDDD

But a very heartfelt rap song ~ xD

[demon strait outta_hell]

eh. 4/5

[ninja-kyoko-chan]

you know, i bet i was 5 seconds late to being first
good liked it...meh...i want to be first