• an oblivion away in front of my eyes allows no peace of mind
    every night
    the future is an untamed something-or-other romping around my house of self and it strangles my perspective
    if i should die before i get to this place all my waiting will have been some sad excuse for living
    and fear and anxiety and i am losing my teeth in my dreams
    every night
    and every night i dream of a man who comes to me love struck but is not who he seems
    every night
    it will not stop haunting me living for a month away and wasting day after hot humid sick day sitting on these thoughts while there is nothing for me here and for those to come i taunt myself
    every night
    another strange revelation and i am desperate to be held by arms that will flail and swipe away at these strained images passing behind my eyes rolled back and closed to black
    every night
    a lover would be nice but baby what i need is a distraction to keep me in my place until i can move freely within yet another bubble only fewer trees and bigger greyer buildings and i am on fire
    every night
    nothing comes through and nothing leaves but midnight tossing and the same song over and over again to put myself in my head where my expectations land me and my so dormant body drops to bed my stomach turns to water
    every night
    and when it comes the arms i crave will not be to keep the night out but to keep every night in my brain and to keep my eyes on those of another and not to look away to the buildings and streets and to the thousands of daily faces which will retreat into my memory and occasionally reappear every night
    and i pull my hair and watch it grow and this body sinks into sand and sea and craving unnatural things to replace all the trees and strange it passes through my skull an unfamiliar sensation a taste and tongue and there is nothing here
    every night