• "Right then, good morning class five.
    Fiona, my dear, please sit up straight
    And Paul take your hans from your pants
    And would you please try to concentrate!"

    "Oh, what is wrong now, Timothy?
    Yes, go on then, hurry to the toilet,
    I dont want your mum here again
    Complaining your trousers were wet."

    "Charlotte, take your finger from your nose.
    Jason, dear, are you not feeling well?
    Yes, Kyle I do know its him
    Making that terrible smell."

    "Right, now could we do the register?
    Adam. Adam! Is Adam Aston here?
    No, Leanne, he has diarrhoea
    Not the squits my dear."

    "Right, is there anyone else missing?
    Who was that called ou 'yes'?
    Kevin, I should have known it was you,
    And Barry, stop looking down Mary's dress."

    "Youre the same every Monday morning,
    You come in and scream and shout;
    Im off to the staff room for a coffee-
    You lot can sort yourselves out!