• I went out on a walk
    and stopped in a liquor shop
    I handed in my lottery ticket
    to a guy who's name tag said "Hi I'm Bridget"

    He announced "The winner is 911"
    The cops said "Sorry Hon'"
    As they were about to leave to get some dinner
    Bridget said "No, she's the winner"

    My best friend stole my wallet
    she took it right out of my pocket
    I'm so blue
    should've put my money in my shoe
    my best friend stole my wallet

    I took all the money in cash
    and when the cops weren't looking I pointed and laughed
    Ran over to my best friend's house
    But to tell her the news I had my doubts

    I left her house and closed the door
    looked down at my pants and thought they were stuffed more before
    I stucked my hands in my jeans to see if my money was there
    only to find a pair of stinky underwear

    My best friend stole my wallet
    she took it right out of my pocket
    I'm so blue
    should've put my money in my shoe
    my best friend stole my wallet

    I ran back, banged on the door and rang the bell
    and when she answered I began to yell
    First I kicked her in the shin
    then hit her with a pot made of tin
    when she began to bleed I remembered the underwear
    then slapped her again 'cause I just didn't care

    My best friend stole my wallet
    she took it right out of my pocket
    I'm so blue
    should've put my money in my shoe
    my best friend stole my wallet