Heart VS. Emotions

• Artist: VamprissQueen
• Description: Will the battle ever be over between us?
  Will the bloodshed ever decrese?
  Will the anger and hatred ever Desece?
  
  Will my hear ever be healed?
  Will my tears ever dry?
  Will my lonlyness bring me comfort?
  
  Will my mind ever be the same again?
• Date: 10/02/2008
• Tags: heart emotions

If you if dont like it, then dont read it, but this is also in my journal, i have some poems in there that I wrote. That are origanaly recreated my me..THANX!
heart

Comments

[onionio]

(Continued) In my opinion, your poem has no literary value. I suggest that you consider what purpose you want your poem to serve, and re-write it. Your title is unclear because, as Summer Fallwinterspring pointed out, the heart is considered to be the emotions. Perhaps you could change it to “Heart VS. Head” to contrast emotions and logic. Maybe you could even personify the head and the heart. Anyway, I hope those suggestions help you, and good luck.

[onionio]

I suggest that you at least spell check your work before submitting it. I assume that you were trying to spell the word “decease”. If so, I advise you to replace it with the word “cease”. It just makes a little more sense the way you’re trying to use it. Furthermore, I find your poem to be ordinary and stereotypical. You simply ramble on about how you’re so incredibly miserable.

[KazimeGaros]

yeah dude come on its a contest the people who win are the ones that can spell if you cant spell it out than at least google the words until you find the right one but i could still feel your message but if they were spelled correctly than it would have had more of an impact...

[Summer Fallwinterspring]

1) Cliche. Boring. Yawn.
2) Learn to spell, because you look stupid. You just do- no point debating it. When you write poetry, if something is misspelled, it MUST be for a reason.
3) Heart and emotions are usually considered the same, are they not?
4) What significance does the title have? How does it tie in? No way that I see.

CONTINUED

[Summer Fallwinterspring]

Now, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, so I won't flame you. I'm trying to be nicer from now on- but if you delete this, I WILL recomment, and I will not only be considerably meaner and more honest, I will also post in your gallery so you are incapable of deleting it. Understand? Good girl. Now take my critiques, okay?

[GreanTee]

Switch the description && entry...

[x-Ginko-x]

wow this is like a drama if made as a movie. i love it!!