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Her Ordeal:
An angel fell today
Quiet and serene
Broken wings bloodied
Not entirely the perfect scene
Skin a creamy white
Hair a muddied flax
Startling green eyes
Screams echo
'God, take me back!'
And as she cries her tears of blood and sorrow
Rain clouds blanket the skies
Blocking out the sun of the 'morrow.
His Response:
Of Death and Hollow
Hail's person Callow,
A wilting Willow,
Your feathered Pillow,
A soft spoken breeze,
To pry those dreams.
And then that morn,
When Life doth Scorn,
Who is left
But my angel?
- by Catherine the Lovely |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 10/11/2008 |
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- Title: An Angel Fell Today
- Artist: Catherine the Lovely
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Description:
I've already posted this up on my DeviantArt: http://midorikohyuuga.deviantart.com/
Just thought I'd see how it did here.
Her Ordeal is mine. His Response is a comment my friend left me. He's so sweet. - Date: 10/11/2008
- Tags: angel fell today
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Comments (4 Comments)
- Lolvy - 06/04/2009
- I love the start, and it sounds beautiful, but Thyme's right, it's just nonsense. Make it have a proper story, then find the rhyme, adn that way it'll be better :3
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- Stormlight - 10/11/2008
- It makes no sense. It seems like you were just stringing words together to make a rhyme without entirely thinking them over. His Response especially makes no sense. What does Of death and Hollow/Hail's person Callow even mean? Or feathered pillow? It needs to be thought through a bit more for it to make some sense.
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- Sockpuppet Love - 10/11/2008
- I relly like this poem!!
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- fegrris89 - 10/11/2008
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this is a good one...
really nice...
kisses
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