inside the dark

• Artist: Ms Make Me Smile
• Description: when i was in a room once my sister turned off the light and locked me in and i got so freaked out so this is what this is about and how the darkness brought on more fear,please comment and if you want ill comment you back,critiques would be really liked,so please comment
• Date: 10/17/2008
• Tags: inside dark

i sat inside the darkness
afraid to speak
i sat there letting my fears eat me alive
letting my fear kill me

it opens up the doors
the doors on my fear
the doors on my paronoya

it brought with it
my demons
with there crawling snarls of the dark
without any sign
of freedom
from this darkeness

much like as if within a box searching for light meant being completely engulfed
in black
with out any sign nor sight of light
darker than dark itself
never will it free those to whom engulf with in it

Comments

[ElectraShocked]

There was one seplling error that I caught, paranioa is how it's spelled I think... The part "much like as if within a box searching for light meant being completelt engulfed" Make me run out of breath wink Maybe if you put it into two seperate stanzas it would flow a bit better.
Good luck, hope I helped a little.

[MCRkrazy1000]

The title itself draws you in, but when you start reading it's like you cant stop!

[Luminene]

Its like when youve accepted to become a dark elf *sour smiles*

[Golden Sarah-Belle]

its alright. sorta hard to follow. the last stanza needs some work, but i like it fine... kinda emo rofl lol

[wasitacatisaw]

great poem

[Rini M]

This is an amaizing poem Sakura! wink

[xXcontemplated_suicideXx]

really great poem ^^ 5/5