Our Shared Fate

• Artist: tksunshine93
• Description: this is actually true
  it's about this guy who i love and who loves me back we just can never be together
  i don't care if it doesn't necessarily make sense but i would like if y'all would comment
• Date: 10/28/2008
• Tags: shared fate cantbe

I hear you
breathing my name
sighing into the receiver
saying all these sweet things
you know I want to hear

I look into you
my god
those phantom eyes
hiding so much pain, denial
am I a bad person because they make me smile

I taste you
your sweet love
your despair
how can one so pure
be so bitter

How bad I want to touch you
to comfort
and protect
to take away the pain
and kiss your scarred wrists

When I tell you this
I can hear you breath heavier
hear you whisper
how you want to do the same
but society won't let it be so

So far apart
and yet our love is strong
we promise forever
lying through our teeth
we both know this can't go on

But we want to believe
fate will have mercy
and let us two broken doves be together
to hear, to see and to taste each other
but a dream is all it can be

Comments

[Damian_Sirus]

Wow, that's so sad but it's a really good poem! It really makes me feel like I want to just reach out and help you two, and pray that you both can be together.

If it was friendly critism you wanted well...maybe I'm not the best person to ask. But I don't see anything wrong with your word choice, vocabulary, word form or anything. It is a very good poem, but sad.