Sonnet 1

• Artist: Fr33z3r_Burn
• Description: A Shakespearean sonnet I wrote for English class. Comment and rate please!
• Date: 11/07/2008
• Tags: sonnet

O'er fields of blinding grains of blood and bone,
Life's Light stops shining under bloated Storm,
Cruel Fate! Promise for which I need atone,
My friend your skin grows cold and pale, once warm.
I clutch your soul's empty husk to my breast,
Both cursing and praising the day we met
By chance in dreary streets where none do rest,
Now grieving Heart is severed from your net.
My world is broken and torn asunder,
Scattered, the pieces rain down from above,
Mocking me with cries of distant Thunder
While Soul laments the dying Heart's last love.
My Goddess sleeps with those who've gone before,
Where the Rain falls softly forever more.
Fr33z3r_burn

Comments

[Fr33z3r_Burn]

Yay!

[Supernovai]

love it! <3 brilliant.

[Fr33z3r_Burn]

There's a comment here.

[x_Celestial Deception_x]

that was great!! i always had trouble writing sonnets. but this was really good

[Bellabie]

Veiso, the meter is iambic petameter (five downbeats) with three sets of verse rhyming (ABAB, CDCD, EFEF) and a final heroic couplet (GG).
Fr33z3r_burn, I do admire your prowess, but I think that many of your images are tired. Lamenting souls, pale and cold skin, and falling rain are clichéd. I do, however, very much like the line "I clutch your soul's empty husk to my breast."
Be well!
b