Snow Dreidel

• Artist: Snoopy321456
• Description: This winter poem might make you smile.
• Date: 12/27/2008
• Tags: dreidel

Oh dreidel,dreidel,dreidel,
I made it out of clay,
And when it's dry and ready,
Oh dreidel I shall play!

Oh dreidel,dreidel,dreidel,
I made you out of snow,
I baked it in the oven,
Where did my dreidel go?

Comments

[Sakura no Akuma]

^^ It did make me smile! I was wondering at first at why you were writing a well-known Hannukah rhyme, but then I saw the second stanza!

I do think it can be improved...grammar, with the commas and spaces. And plus, second line, second stanza, you might change "you" to "it" to keep the poem consistent. Other than that, creative and original. 5/5