The tornado

• Artist: dont make me fight
• Description: Me and my sister both wrote one of these and worked on them together so SOME parts are very similar if not the same. Hers is just called tornado if you want to read hers too.
  
  Basically, last year, a tornado hit my little town. When i looked out the window i could not believe what i saw.
  
  This is my first entry so please let me know what you think and i can take critisism. thnx
• Date: 12/28/2008
• Tags: tornado

Trees falling over,
Skies turning grey,
Wind shaking houses,
Will anyone have to pay?

Scared, shocked, and confused,
People are frantic,
Except for my sleeping brother,
But i was in a panic.

When is it over?
Does anyone know?
When people see what happened,
Their feelings will show.

The power went out,
And we went to see,
If anything happened,
To the neighbors of me.

60 foot pine trees,
All on the ground,
We checked on people,
From all around town.

School was closed,
For a few days,
And only one couple,
Had lives they paid.

And if you look,
Around right now,
You can still see some places,
Where the tornado blew through town.

Comments

[Primrose Petals]

Well it seems a little to ameture for me someone might like it like Dr.Suess but not for me 1/5

[charlotte_loves]

Well, its very nice for the first time.What I didn't like is that, you just tried to make everything rhyme.Not every thing made sense. 4/5 Good job.