• Flurry of feelings, of confusion, of doubt
    Sarcastic smile flashed across your face
    The place where woe ought to be
    Stable, collapsing, collapsed
    As foes draw closer, friends fall out
    Clutching to a cliff made of pure pathetic
    Feeling wanted, feeling needed, feeling you
    All that keeps kept me going. All that can
    You don't want me (tell me I'm beautiful)
    You don't need me (return my anxious calls)
    And to feel me makes you shudder (draw closer)
    I send out the strongest signals I know how
    Signs that would make me hurry to type the words
    "What's the matter? Are you ok? I'm always here to talk"
    But my answering machine flashes "0", my inbox remains empty (except for the occasional advertisement for things I don't need, for things I don't want. Girls selling their skin for my entertainment. A little blue pill that would stimulate an organ I don't have)
    So how long before I crack, like the finest china, dropped on the floor by a clumsy, foolish child
    "Don't you know how valuable that is?"
    My laughs become less frequent, my smile becomes less quick
    Waiting for someone to notice the sad silences I purposefully project
    The cliche prose, waxing poetic
    Waxing pathetic
    The silent lines that sometimes grace my wrists
    The night-time counsels with someone who no longer listens (were they ever?)
    Every time I come close, something else pops up
    Something else flashes itself before my eyes, a child with a shiny object
    Focus my attention
    I love you
    Love me
    Please. Please just this once.