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This must be real what
What I feel with you cause
it is jaw dropping
knee's shaking
sweet tasting
butterfly feeling love
with the birds singing
wind blowing
sun shining
show stopping
heart bounding
time ticking feeling
so it must be real what I feel with you
cause this is every thing I feel when I am with you.
- by Baby Treasure |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 04/11/2009 |
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- Title: what love is
- Artist: Baby Treasure
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Description:
Okay I am not sure how this works and all but I do hope you like it. I wrote it when I got my first serious boy friend. The others were just ya your cute but didn't really know me but this guy I liked I was head over heels for and this is what it was like when we were dating at the time.
The great thing is he liked me back.
I know it is not the best and this is the first poem I have ever wrote.
please comment and rate and tell me what I need to work on. - Date: 04/11/2009
- Tags: love
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Comments (3 Comments)
- marshii_akira - 05/11/2009
- AWESOME!!!!
- Report As Spam
- nylasaur - 04/18/2009
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WoOoW!
This is mine: (same topic) http://gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/poetry-and-lyrics/vote/?entry_id=101293899#title
I'm not pressuring you to rate! Just please read it! - Report As Spam
- Jarmis - 04/11/2009
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It's not bad, but not really great either. I like the idea behind it, though. It just felt a little repetitive with all the descriptions lumped together, and all of them saying the same thing.
Keep writing, though. The feeling is what matters the most smile - Report As Spam
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