• So Many Reasons

    By: Kenya


    Everybody has sins. My sins are many. One of my greatest sins ever is falling in love with you. I couldn’t stop it. You were everything I needed, and more. I was willing to forget everyone that mattered, just to have you. The way I wanted you was unreasonable. The way my heart craved to be with you. I couldn’t read you. I wanted to know how you felt about me. I wanted to know if I should let you go or not. I would have given up anything, just for you to love me back. So where were you? You were by my side………at first. Then you changed. Then things changed. I went my way, and you went yours. But it the end, we were still together. Every fight we fought should have given it away. You were never good for me. I was too good for you. I was too good to you. I was your lover, alongside your friend. I was the one who you ran to for comfort. I have been replaced many of times. But you always came back, because I was always inviting for you to. Then he came in. He slowly started ripping us apart, but we never did anything. We never did anything, because we never noticed. We slowly became apart. Then you finally told me the true. The true I have been waiting mouths for. You never did love me like I wanted to think. It was a lie that my heart and my mind made up to keep me happy. I kept asking myself ‘why?’ Not why would she do this, but why she wouldn’t tell me. Why she couldn’t be a REAL friend and tell me. Everyone told me that you were no good. Everyone told me that you had a dark side. I never believed them. I never wanted to. It couldn’t be. Maybe they did know you like I did. That’s true………they knew more than me. I wanted to believe they were wrong. Another fantasy my heart and mind made up for me. After I saw your true colors, it made it harder for me. I gave my feelings to much room to grow. I let my heart win that battle. I let my heart win over my mind. That is another sin of mine. I couldn’t bare this true. I hated how much I cared for you at this point. I wanted it to end. I wanted my life to be all over. To escape my problems, which was and still are you. I wanted to take back my love. But I couldn’t, it was too late for that. I need answers. I still do. But I can never go to you.
    Or could I really ever?