crying me

• Artist: bella_the_viper
• Description: me wail and get pail
• Date: 05/28/2009
• Tags: crying

when i wail
it makes me pail
cant sleep at night
i feel like a spotlight
leave me alone
you make me moan
i hate people like you
i wish you would turn into dodo

Comments

[foxxycandy2015]

hmmm...kinda suckish

[ChibiGinie]

It's too close to having structure to be called freeform. There's no rythm. Try giving your poem more shape. It doesn't need to have feeling or even make a statement. In fact, the cold objectivity says more than expressive adjactives do. Really, just touch up your technicallities. smile

[sailor0taku]

blah! haz no feeling

[bella_the_viper]

omg thats wat i think