A broken heart

• Artist: Drunken Aunt Coral
• Description: Please PLEASE If you rate please leave a comment on what you think of it. I would much apreciate critquing.
  
  Thanks a bunch! :)
• Date: 06/11/2009
• Tags: broken heart

Deep dark fears are all hidden away
Everlasting loathing of falling so hard
Pressure of a broken heart causes these tears to fall
Reasuring words wont help at all
Ebony night engulfing us whole
Seething with saddes, anger, and pain
Sickening torturous deeds you have done
Ignighting the wick that was once never burnt
Opening the walls to let my heart soar
None-the-less you let it fall hard

Now it lays scattered around
A broken heart that wasn't ment to fall
Grasping it and falling to knees
Tears staining these rosey red cheeks
Thoughts of why will filled this head
Wondering why you had picked up and left

Comments

[I Am Your Insanity]

this is really touching. 5/5

[lolo119]

I love poetry because you are free to write it however you want. This is brilliant. It shows so much passion, and deep emotion. You can really tell that you know what you're talking about, and that you're talking from experience. This is beautiful work. Keep it up!

[Homeless Howler]

its okay, but you need lines.
like:

i have a cat,
its rly fat,
i feed it food,
it makes him rude.

i have a dog,
he runs through fog,
he likes to sit,
in piles o' s**t.


see, like the four lines, then another stanza kind of thing.
i give you 3 stars.