Await.

• Artist: Sevlow Seripmav
• Description:
• Date: 06/12/2009
• Tags: await

So as the sky breaks.
And I sit and I wait.
This breeze it came by
and it kept me awake.
I saw something that's New,
something Weird,
something vein.
I saw sorrow, destruction, corruption, and pain.
My body itself I could Hardly sustain,
while my image of the world,
sorta swirled in mundain.
I can't help but save it,
I yelled and I cried.
It took every nerve in my body to try.
But hope flew away,
in a plane in the sky.
I fell back asleep,
in a dream,
where I died..

Comments

[Hiraetha]

Great imagery and metaphor use! Personally, I'm not a fan of free verse, so I'd suggest employing a meter or rhyme scheme, but that's a style choice.

Also, the random capitals disrupt the flow of the poem, you can use meter and other words to direct attention to a word or concept, it'll work better, trust me.

[Sevlow Seripmav]

wrote this to relate living life being a little diffrent, to being trapped on an island with no help, just trying to survive and thrive off hope of rescue from this ultimate confinement.

[Sevlow Seripmav]

I wrote this to relate living life being a little diffrent, to being trapped on an island with no help, just trying to survive and thrive off hope of rescue from this ultimate confinement.