What if?

• Artist: Mugentsuki
• Description: Please be nice about this, it's a real problem that I am having in real life, so please, two things, first, don't take this as an incentive to get an online boyfriend, I want a real life girlfriend, not an online one, and second, don't mock me for how I feel, my life, and mainly my mind, has been messed up and seperated from reality for 18 years, so I really can't help it. Please comment, but please follow my two requests if you do.
• Date: 11/21/2009
• Tags: love whatif

What if,
What if I’m unable,
Unable to love?

Unable to feel ,
The warmth of another heart?

I stand alone,
Cold and heartbroken,
If I feel the pain of a broken heart,
Then why not love?

I see others,
Couples together,
Blissfully locked in a dream,
I dream I cannot touch,
Cannot see,
Cannot feel,
So I stand alone,
Heartbroken and alone.

Do I do this to myself,
Do I push myself away,
Away from others and the warmth?

I want to love,
But I don’t know how.

I’m too afraid to take that first step,
But not because I fear it,
But because I don’t know,
I don’t know where the step is.

What if I never find the step,
What if it’s not there,
What if I must make it,
But I don’t know where to begin?

What if I finally find it,
And it crumbles beneath my feet,
What if I’m unable,
Unable to love?

Comments

[Silver Dragonrider93]

wow. this poem sounds alot like things that have happened to me and still are. i wish you good luck, and hope it all goes well.

[THE_Wantoch]

That's some deep stuff man...

[Mugentsuki]

My earlier poem, Glass World of Dream, explains those 18 earlier years.