• I'm that douchebag.
    I'm the guy who will go out on a date with you, and forget to call the next day.
    When you call me back, I'll say that I forgot, and you will forgive me primarily because I'm taking advantage of the fact that women think that men are forgetful and dumb.
    But during the call you'll hear me typing a message to another girl on facebook asking her out on a date.
    You probably won't ask what's going on, after all, it's not your business anyway.
    I'm that douchebag with little to no manners.
    I don't open doors for you, or let you pick where you want to sit first-I might as well decide everything for you.
    But you do like me because I seem to stand out, and I'm a funny guy, right? It doesn't matter if we don't really have a lot in common, as long as I can say something you think is "so sweet" and a joke every now and again, followed by something random and perhaps slightly rude at the same time, that way you think I'm "spontaneous".
    I'm that douchebag you will probably end up in a relationship with, and having sex with as well.
    We will get into a fight about once or twice a week, but your friends say that we look like a great couple, and that fighting only strengthens a relationship.

    I'm that douchebag that you want to break up with sometimes, but you see so much potential in me. After all, you've experienced my potential in you multiple times by now, which is one reason why you're afraid to break it off (no pun intended).
    You also see me as a guy you could fix up and make into the perfect man, and it's because you have insecurity issues about yourself, or are just that naive.
    You look like an angel to me in comparision, making other people wonder how we're even together.

    It's because men are like homes you can remodel, right?
    Too bad I'm that douchebag who will never change.

    I'll break your heart, stomp on the pieces, light it up in flames, piss the fire out, and roll up the ashes for a smoke.
    And still, you will somehow think that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to you.
    You'll waste years of your life on me as well.
    I'm that douchebag.
    But you'll love me anyway.