• You where my love my everything,
    Now down on bend in knee,
    You gripping me by the hand,
    begging and pleading with me..

    I scream,
    I shout,
    I Yell OUT
    I say "no more lies"
    no more hurt..
    no more pain...

    I loved you dearly yet your words and actions tore my heart apart.

    I fall,
    I collapse,
    I hit the floor,
    I clench,
    I grip,
    I cling tightly holding onto my chest,
    gasping for air,

    I look up at you with watery soaked eyes and reply
    "you have poisoned my heart once more,
    I gave you my heart,
    my love,
    my trust,
    my everything,
    yet in the end you stab me time and time after again"

    Like sadistic pleasure...

    I am sick,
    I am tired
    I am done pretending
    I am done smiling like as if everything will be okay..

    for our kids sake,
    for my own sake,
    for our sake.
    I got to do this..

    Because in the end I'm the one drowning,
    Falling Apart on the inside,
    Falling deep into a black hole of shallow emptiness..

    To the point wear I dig,
    I scratch,
    I cut,
    pealing It back to the bear bone..

    Yet know one knows this pain you poured upon our children,
    my heart,

    I need you,
    I want you,

    I love you,
    I hate you,

    In the end,
    I rather be dead then to be strangle by your words
    or a stab to the heart by your own actions.

    Your love is to much to bare,
    for your love is cold and hurtful.

    When I tried to leave the first time,
    I could not get you out of my mind,
    my heart,
    my soul..

    Your love is poison polluting me,
    Reminding me of the good times we shared,
    the birth of our first born daughter,
    the birth of our first and last son,
    And the way you held me, crossed me and kissed my sweet lips at night.

    I am still torn by you,
    your words
    your actions

    and yet I don't get why you do this to us.

    You play the victim, after I confront you.
    You make it like I forced you threw this,
    Our love,
    our marriage,
    our family.

    I hope you are happy with her...
    I guess she gave you something you lacked here
    with us,
    our kids,
    our home,
    our family,
    my love,
    my heart...

    Sorry you see our kids and me as nothing but a burden to you.

    But why did you not tell me that our love was meaningless,
    my heart meant nothing to you,
    everything we been threw,
    everything that we are,
    or that you never wanted our kids,
    when in fact you wanted to start the family..

    I need to be strong ,
    I need to stand on my own two feet,
    I need to pull myself together,
    I need to wipe the dirt and mud off my face and body.
    I need to pull myself up off this dreadful ground.
    Grab my kids by the hand,
    And Finally take that first stand out the door.

    I can do this,
    I am strong,
    I am one,
    I can do this on my own..

    I love you,
    I hate you,
    Good luck
    and goodbye my once sweet love.