• Insanity
    You were in my dream last night,
    For a split second you turned and smiled at me.
    No matter how much I try or not,
    I can’t get you out of my f*cking head.
    I don’t want you here anymore
    But to me, it’s normal for you to be.
    To others, you would‘ve been forgotten
    Just a distant memory of someone that was once in their lives.
    To me you’re much more,
    You’re my insanity, whether I like it or not.
    Even sitting here in a Starbucks
    Everyone here around me is
    talking to a friend
    or zoned out on their laptops,
    in here for shelter from the rain,
    And others sitting here waiting for someone to show up.

    But me, I sit here
    Waiting for someone who won’t show up though I keep looking out the window and at anyone who walks in, praying that it’s you.
    It’s like I’m fighting an invisible battle
    Two kingdoms fighting the other.
    I’m torn between the two
    But I know which one has more control over this bloodsac beating in my chest,
    The one that hasn’t spoken a word to me in what seems like forever, and should have no significance to me.
    You weren’t my first relationship,
    You weren’t my first lover,
    You weren't my first dinner date,
    You weren’t my first movie date,
    You weren’t my first f*ck buddy,
    You weren’t me first anything.
    But God damn it,
    You won’t get out of my mind and it’s driving me insane.
    Everywhere I go, you are on my mind.
    I work an eight hour shift today and you’ll be on my f*cking mind as always.
    I’ve tried to forget you,
    I’ve tried to move on,
    I’ve tried to distract myself from you,
    I’ve tried to get away from this insanity.
    I hate you for this,
    Though it’s not your fault.
    I hate you.
    But f*ck, I love you.