Life is like unicorn poop: colorful and messy.

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Hi everyone. I know some of you have read me before around the forums, but I think it's high time I post an explanation to the more, ah, cryptic posts I've made.

Someone on another forum once mentioned I don't write like I'm 21. I take that as a compliment. I want to be a published writer one day; in fact, I've wanted to be one since I was 9, so grammar and spelling are really important to me. I'm not a grammar Nazi any more, though. It gets tiring, annoying, and one day I just threw in the towel.

So, I'll be using this here thread to tell you about what makes me, Me.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Disclaimer: Everything narrated here is filtered through hindsight. Names have been changed to protect... myself.

I had a pretty normal childhood, I think. Mom and Dad (still married to this day), older sister wasn't too much of a pain, have had cats for quite a while.

Where things deviated from the norm was when I was 12. My sister was in some extracurricular activity or other before spending the night at a friend's house. My parents were going to be home late for whatever reason, so my cousin (who's about 10 years older than me) was called over to babysit me.

He got me drunk, put some porn on, then took me to my room and... well, legally, it was rape.

At the time, though, I enjoyed it immensely, partly because of the alcohol, but also because "Tony" made sure I had an orgasm before he penetrated me - either out of macho pride or because he figured I'd be willing to have sex with him again the next time he had to keep an eye on me.

He used me for two years, and it was always unprotected sex. It finally ended when I got a yeast infection and I was so freaked out I went to the school nurse thinking it was an STD. She called my parents. I finally confessed what Tony had been doing - and I got slapped in the face by my mother. My father didn't say anything except "boys will be boys". My sister called me a slut when she found out.

I've never forgiven any of them for it. There's no way to prosecute Tony either, since it's my word against his, I have ZERO support, and I'm no longer living in the same state where it happened.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Oh wow. That's terrible. *Super uber hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that. No one should have to be treated like that by their own family.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Oh wow. That's terrible. *Super uber hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that. No one should have to be treated like that by their own family.

Thanks emotion_hug I got so upset from remembering that I had to stop there. I'll continue later when I'm feeling better.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

I don't blame you. *hugs again*

I'll be sure to stop back by. <3  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

More stuff!

The parents keep pretending nothing ever happened. HOWEVER... karma has a way of biting people in the a**.

My sister, who's 3 years older than me and had the nerve to call me a slut, got pregnant late her senior year. By the time we found out, she had graduated, so my parents pretty much kicked her out and refused to pay for her college tuition. She's living with her third BF now, squirted out two more brats along the way, and barely speaks to us.

I miss the sister she used to be... cat_sad What happened?

Well, middle and high school were the usual hell most people face, especially since we moved to a different state. I was lucky enough to have a school counselor who referred me to a specialist for therapy of a sort. It helped a lot, especially after my father said there was no point in my going to college since I was "going to get knocked up sooner or later anyway." Grrr!

I dated a couple guys here and there, but nothing really serious. I'd never been really in love. It didn't bother me, I figured I'd either find someone sooner or later, or become that eccentric spinster aunt with the coolest stories about her last trip to Morocco or Hong Kong.

So, got myself a job as soon as I was out of school, at a bookstore. I loved it there. Free reading! Nice people! Buttloads of coffee! Until early this year, when the owners decided that since they were both old enough to retire, they'd shut the place down. It's been hard, finding a new job, but that hasn't been the most stressful thing so far...

To be continued...  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

To be continued...

You're parents seem like very cruel and hateful people.

Your sister...have you tried talking to her? I have a feeling she is probably pretty angry and bitter with not only herself but your parents as well...maybe someday you two will be able to bury the hatchet and put the past in the past...doubtful though unless she apologizes for the things she said to you...that's pretty hypocritical for her to call you a slut over something you didn't choose for yourself when she turned around and got pregnant and all...

I'm sorry to hear about your job...times are tough...I hope you can find a new job soon. <3

Love...is a tricky thing...it finds you when you least expect it...or so I'm told...maybe it will happen for you someday. Although I must admit being an eccentric aunt sounds like fun too razz .

emotion_hug hug: emotion_hug  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Gigi Deveraux

To be continued...

You're parents seem like very cruel and hateful people.

Your sister...have you tried talking to her? I have a feeling she is probably pretty angry and bitter with not only herself but your parents as well...maybe someday you two will be able to bury the hatchet and put the past in the past...doubtful though unless she apologizes for the things she said to you...that's pretty hypocritical for her to call you a slut over something you didn't choose for yourself when she turned around and got pregnant and all...

I'm sorry to hear about your job...times are tough...I hope you can find a new job soon. <3

Love...is a tricky thing...it finds you when you least expect it...or so I'm told...maybe it will happen for you someday. Although I must admit being an eccentric aunt sounds like fun too razz .

emotion_hug hug: emotion_hug

My parents are... well, they're both immigrants, and extremely conservative. You ever heard of the Opus Dei? They're in that. They're not bad people, and I know of worse parents, but their ideas are definitely woman-in-the-kitchen type. The truth is I still live with my parents because it's expected that an unmarried daughter will stay at home until she's handed off to the man who marries her. That means I don't have to pay rent, which is a good thing. I could never have managed to even share a place on my last salary.

As for my sister, I kind of wonder if she did it to get out of here... then again, after she turned 15 she became something of a jerk. I don't blame her for being angry at them though, they totally mishandled it. I have tried to talk to her but she's still bitter about the whole thing. Maybe she'll mellow out later.

One thing I learned from my therapy is I'm the one who allows their attitudes to affect me, or not, as I choose. It's stressful at times, but I keep reminding myself I'm not obligated to live 100% by their cultural norms. I study on my own, since there's no money for college forthcoming from them.

I keep looking for another job but it's hard because I don't have a car. Also, there's so many people competing it's a real fight to get an interview.

As for love.... *sigh* that's a whole 'nother kettle of smelly fish.

Thanks for the hugs emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

My parents are... well, they're both immigrants, and extremely conservative. You ever heard of the Opus Dei? They're in that. They're not bad people, and I know of worse parents, but their ideas are definitely woman-in-the-kitchen type. The truth is I still live with my parents because it's expected that an unmarried daughter will stay at home until she's handed off to the man who marries her. That means I don't have to pay rent, which is a good thing. I could never have managed to even share a place on my last salary.

As for my sister, I kind of wonder if she did it to get out of here... then again, after she turned 15 she became something of a jerk. I don't blame her for being angry at them though, they totally mishandled it. I have tried to talk to her but she's still bitter about the whole thing. Maybe she'll mellow out later.

One thing I learned from my therapy is I'm the one who allows their attitudes to affect me, or not, as I choose. It's stressful at times, but I keep reminding myself I'm not obligated to live 100% by their cultural norms. I study on my own, since there's no money for college forthcoming from them.

I keep looking for another job but it's hard because I don't have a car. Also, there's so many people competing it's a real fight to get an interview.

As for love.... *sigh* that's a whole 'nother kettle of smelly fish.

Thanks for the hugs emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug

No problem we all need hugs sometime...

I'm not sure I could deal with that...my mom was pretty conservative too but when I told her bad things happened to me she totally wanted to kill the sob that did it, she never blamed me. I think I would have died. Old fashioned and conservative just seem like synonyms for hatefulness and bigotry for the most part...though that's not always true it seems that way most of the time to me...

I hope you can find a job so you can get a car it sucks being without one.


It could be your sister did that for that reason...Its a good possibility...and hopefully she will mellow out as she gets older...

Love def is a smelly kettle of fish o.O

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

My father cheated on my mother. He used to travel for business and had a woman in the town where his employers had a branch office.

My mother knew. She chose to turn a blind eye to it.

My grandfather knew. He kept half an eye on my father's other family.

I don't think my sister knew, or she would have thrown it in their faces and I would have found out a long time ago.

I certainly didn't know - not until last year, when my grandfather was sure he was on his deathbed and he told my father to send for my half-brother, since he was the one carrying on the name and all that horse s**t. The senile old b*****d (aka Grandpa) decided to leave his only male grandchild his apartment in the next town over and a few other things.

I felt angry. I felt jealous. I felt betrayed. I felt totally ignored. There I was, the "good" daughter, trying to live by their rules... but since I'm female it doesn't count. It's all about the Y chromosome with those bastards, isn't it?

I know what you're thinking. The answer is no. It wasn't about the money or the apartment or any other s**t like that. It was about being dismissed simply because I'm female.

I was prepared to treat him like the scum of the earth. Ready to completely ignore him, like he was't even there.

We arrived at Grandpa's apartment, and I went to the living room to just flop onto the couch and poke around Wikipedia or something on my POS tablet. That's where I came across a young man, looking like he couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. He looked familiar but I couldn't quite place him until he looked up and remembered a photo I'd seen of Grandpa back in the day.

This was my half-brother Nick.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

So, there I was, prepared to hate some random guy I'd never met, simply because a) my father had cheated on my mother and b) according to my grandfather, he's going to carry on the name. (Come on, like women don't keep their maiden names nowadays?)

What I found was a young man not much older than me, looking like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. So much for my righteous anger... I introduced myself and we started talking. Very awkwardly.

I told him about my sister and my mom, about my - no, our - annoying aunt Pat and her poor dog that's terrified of fireworks and thunderstorms, and about my poor old cat. He told me about his mom and stepfather, about his dog who died a couple years previously, and how he only saw his - our - father maybe four or five times a year when he was growing up.

You wanna know what we really ended up bonding over? Movies and pizza. Yeah. We traded numbers and emails, figuring since we're kind of stuck wit each other now, might as well get to know each other.

I went back home with my parents, while Nick went back to his town to make preparations to move to Grandpa's apartment. (That was one of the conditions for him to get anything.) Nick agreed because it gives him some distance from his family (his stepfather was ecstatic at the idea of him moving out, Nick tells me), and he has more freedom over here.

So, my new-found brother and I began to hang out whenever possible. We went to see "John Carter" together and agreed it's a shame how Disney FAILed with the marketing because the movie itself is made of AWESOME. emotion_awesome

I actually went to spend Thanksgiving with Nick at Grandpa's, partly because the senile old fart couldn't handle any trips, partly because my mother was hosting her side of the family this year, but mainly because Nick's mom and stepdad were going on a cruise so he had nowhere to go.

So, over time we kept on getting closer and I kept spending more time with Nick... he was the only other person besides my mom who understood how much it hurt to have to lett poor old Tabby go. That was in May... then late last month I accepted Nick's invitation to go to the beach for the weekend, since his boon companion bailed a week before and the reservation was already paid for. That's when my father began complaining that I take up too much of his time, that Nick can't date any girls if I'm in the way, bla bla bla bla. That triggered my rant here.

While he was pissing and moaning, all I could think about was what happened Father's Day weekend...  

[vxrs]

Oh..man.
Your story is painful to read.
It must have been a million times painful to go through.

PM me, Okay?

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Radiant Mercy

Oh..man.
Your story is painful to read.
It must have been a million times painful to go through.

PM me, Okay?

Thank you. I was fortunate enough to find a counselor who actually cared about their job. They got me into a couple of support groups based on Al-Anon/Ala-Teen, and it's really helped me detach myself from most of the bad stuff.

Of course, when the good stuff came along... I got blindsided.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

iiRawr_Destiny

Every time I read this I just want to punch someone scream .

I'm sorry this stuff happened to you crying

emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug

Thanks emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug emotion_hug