Our Random Topic Hangout Thread (note the name change)

[Malomy]

Chi are you gonna be okay?  

[dewshine_angel]

What are you trying to forget? Is everything ok??  

[Marshmallow Kitty]

What happened, Chiro? D: *big hug*  

[LilChibiusa]

Digital Dust

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

There they are a standing in a row...
Big ones small ones...
Some as big as your head!
Just give them a twist, a flick of the wrist...
That's what the showman said... :heat:  

[LavenderAlchemy]

Well.. the simplest way I can put it? I'm frustrated.

The long version?

A guy who wants me can never seem to find time to be with me, and even when he does, something usually comes up. I'll ignore, for a while, the fact that he's younger than me and I'm not even sure I want a relationship right now. I'm just lonely enough not to care.

Another guy who wants me lives in another state. We already tried to be together for a year, and that fell apart when our jobs, apartment, and over all living situation did. Nevermind, again, that the majority of my actual feelings for him have waned significantly in light of his inability to see ANYTHING in a positive light. Ever.

One girl I am attracted to I'm fairly certain is just a surface attraction on my part and doesn't even go so far as a crush. She lives two hours away from me, though. If I ever get drunk enough around her, I might be stupid enough to try and kiss her. We'll see how well that goes. *eyeroll*

And here comes the kicker...
the one girl I AM genuinely attracted to enough to actually quite possibly be feeling the L-word lives in SEATTLE FRIGGING WASHINGTON and, while being one of my awesomest friends ever is so completely oblivious to matters of the heart she has not once caught on to my several slip ups and attempts to tell her of such. Its gotten to the point where I'm so terrified of her saying 'gtfo' and losing her friendship that I'd rather sit and wallow in my loneliness and angst than try and face it. Also doesn't help that I'll be sharing a room with her for five days in August for an anime convention.

I have a hell of a time making friends. The ones I do have here are far too busy. My job doesn't start until June and I'm about ready to pull my hair out.

*deepbreath*

And I'm sorry to anyone who actually read through all that. I'm going back to my corner now.

*burrows* ._.  

[Mira]

Ahh. Unrequited love. How well I know that particular pain. I loved a guy for YEARS and never had the guts to tell him how I felt. He went out with just about every one of my closest friends and never realized that I had such powerful feelings for him.
I ended up closing myself off to love, devoting myself to discovering who I was and learning to love MYSELF for a change. And then I met the man who is now my husband and he literally had to teach me how to allow myself to love again. I know, it sounds so cheesy, but it's the truth.
If I could give you one bit of advice Chi, don't wait until your heart goes cold before telling the person you truly care about how you feel.
One of my best friends in High School had a huge crush on me, and was very outright about it. I had to tell her that I didn't share her feelings in that way, but that I loved her still as a friend, and we were able to continue being just friends.
In short, I think you should tell your friend how you feel. But be open to the fact that she MIGHT not feel the same way, and don't let it ruin your friendship.
*Hug*
Love is a challenging thing. You just have to stay strong and believe in yourself.  

[Mira]

And I almost forgot! I've changed the Draw the VG Below You thread to Draw the VG ABOVE you. *Nods sagely* Thanks to Dew's incredible brain, I have realized the error of my ways. rofl
Also, I don't have a scanner either! I either draw on paper and then use my digital camera to get pics onto my computer, or do them all by mouse. I did Godley's birthday avatar using my mouse, which is half the reason it looks so wonkey. xd  

[iron_gumbi]

i heard a man once say that love is something you do more than something you say or feel....

somehow or another, we've been engrained that love is just some gushy emotion when it's so much more than that. love is more about the motions than the emotions.

once the romance dwindles (and it will) and you're left with the reality of the situation, that's when you have love. it's far more than just saying the words. you can say the words, but if you're heart is not for her, if your heart is not with her, if you're not honoring her and respecting her, if you're not cherishing her and nurturing her, that's not worth a whole lot in my book.

anything worth anything in life will take sacrifice and risk. anything worth everything has the most of both. it's not easy, but getting something truly valuable never comes easy. there's a price to pay to get anywhere in life. the more you're willing to pay, the further you'll likely get, and it's your decision on what your journey's worth.

is it love? answering that clears it all up in my book. if you are truly both in love and prepared TO love, you've got the real deal. the other folks in the scenario are not worth worrying about in that case (i don't think they are if the answers no either).

end rant.... now!  

[LavenderAlchemy]

Mira

Ahh. Unrequited love. How well I know that particular pain. I loved a guy for YEARS and never had the guts to tell him how I felt. He went out with just about every one of my closest friends and never realized that I had such powerful feelings for him.
I ended up closing myself off to love, devoting myself to discovering who I was and learning to love MYSELF for a change. And then I met the man who is now my husband and he literally had to teach me how to allow myself to love again. I know, it sounds so cheesy, but it's the truth.
If I could give you one bit of advice Chi, don't wait until your heart goes cold before telling the person you truly care about how you feel.
One of my best friends in High School had a huge crush on me, and was very outright about it. I had to tell her that I didn't share her feelings in that way, but that I loved her still as a friend, and we were able to continue being just friends.
In short, I think you should tell your friend how you feel. But be open to the fact that she MIGHT not feel the same way, and don't let it ruin your friendship.
*Hug*
Love is a challenging thing. You just have to stay strong and believe in yourself.

I know that, actually. And I'm aware that it could very well be the case, that she won't feel the same way. The problem is I'm stuck in the irrational part of the fear because I had a friend a few years back that had a very similar relationship with me, and through various circumstances we no longer talk. I'm seeing so many similarities here, and while I'm sure it wasn't the only reason that other friend and I stopped talking, I did go so far as to confess what I felt for him, and so in my mind confession = losing friend.  

[Mira]

Well said Gumbi! And all very true. It takes a lot of understanding and work to really forge a lasting relationship with someone. 3nodding

*Hugs* That sucks Chi, I'm sorry to hear that.
But what are you going to do otherwise? Pine for her in the shadows? Dream about what might be? That sounds like torture.
Maybe instead of confessing a deep and abiding love for her outright, you might just say something like "I don't want you to freak out, but I feel like I should tell you that I might just be developing a crush on you." And see how that pans out.
Then again, she does live (as you said it) in Seattle friggen washington, so I suppose you would have to take that fact into account too.
In the end, it's going to be up to you. You know your friends better than I do, for one, not to mention your own heart and whether or not you're willing to put your feelings on a shelf in order to maintain what you have with her currently.
*Hugs*
Yep, love is a complicated thing.  

[LavenderAlchemy]

Yeah it is. crying

At this point I'm really not sure what I'm going to do...  

[Mira]

*Huggles* You'll figure it out. Either way, once you've decided I'm sure you'll feel much better!  

[Digital Dust]

Looks like I'm being forced back into college despite the fact that the last time I went to classes I got physically ill.
I haven't had an anxiety attack in 3 months, but the more I think about the auditions and interviews I'm preparing to endure, I'm freaking out.

I'm not even going to apply until late this fall, and I don't know if I'm going to be fully ready.

 

[LilChibiusa]

I have gotten physically ill from my anxiety related to college before. For some odd reason, I have a huge aversion to by education classes. I would literally get fevers and throw up. But last semester, I only had one of those dreaded classes. My other classes were things like literature and history. I thrived in those classes and ended up making all "A's" My point is, maybe you are getting sick because your heart is not in the field that you are pursuing. I am wishing that I had gone with a different major myslef. xp *pats on the back*

As for love, it is hard. I had a huge crush on a guy named David this past year. He was funny, sweet, genuine, and very kind. He emanated nothing but goodness and joy! We were friends, but I was so afraid of disturbing the balance. I decided that I would rather be safe and have him as a friend than to share my feelings and possibly damage our friendship. Now, I am regretting not being open with him about my feelings. I was too late. He has already graduated and moved far off. Chances are that I will never see him again. Erasmus (or was it Sophocles...?) said that there are three things that come not back: the spoken word, the spent arrow, and the lost opportunity. I can't help but wonder how happy we might have been if I had been honest. But, I guess that I will never know now. Chi, I hope that you can get over your trepidation. There are few things as painful as what might have been.