1001 Things U DONT wanna hear over a Star Destroyer intercom

[ElladanKenet]

(That was on the other night XP )

Intercomm: And on your left, we have am A-Wing, careening out of control, torwards the Bridge  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: I ain't from 'round these here parts. Any o' y'all know a good place ta stop fer a beer?  

[ElladanKenet]

Intercom: Next stop on our tour: the trash compactor!  

[Darkened Angel]

Officer: Captain, the preparations you requested are complete. We are ready to fight... those yankees.
Captain: Good, now git 'er done!  

[ElladanKenet]

TK-412: So.... didya hear the one about the wookiee playing chess?  

[Darkened Angel]

Officer: Um, Captain, is it supposed to be making a noise like that?  

[Rendin Verta]

"Smithers! Stop playing with that! You'll kill us a---....Smithers? SMITHERS!!!!  

[Sol Walker]

"Attention, Attention: Rogue Jedi loose on lower decks."  

[Valkore Fraust]

Officer: To tell you the truth, Rookie, no one takes this job serious anymore. Just look at Johnson piloting the ship. He's heading straight for that--oh s**t, STOP!  

[Darkened Angel]

Captain: All power to the shields! Evasive action! Fire at will! Helm, get us outta here, now!
Officer: Captain?
Captain: Scramble all fighters! Prepare for boarders!
Officer: Uh, Captain...
Captain: Brace for impact! Go to Ludicrous Speed!
Officer: CAPTAIN!
Captain: Huh? What?
Officer: Dude, have you been in the spice stash again?
Captain: Ye-... No... Maybe...  

[Valkore Fraust]

Meanwhile, aboard an SD with fresh enlistments...
Officer: PEW PEW! TAKE THAT ROOKIE! Haha, good game of stormy and rebel.
...The rookie is in his underwear armed with a stick.  

[Darkened Angel]

Officer: Hey, Johnny, remember that time I said if I ever got put on the helm of a star destroyer, I'd just ram it into Corellia's Nine Hells the instant the Captain got onto me about anything?

( short while later )

Captain: Helmsman, what the Hell are you doing!?  

[ElladanKenet]

Officer: All maintenance, report to the poop deck for incoming Hutt delegates.  

[Sol Walker]

((Its the bilge, EK))

Intercom: Attention crew. Lord Vader is hear for the yearly performance review.  

[elvisnake]

Intercom: To improve morale, only the fifteen most incompetent officers will be executed this week.