1001 Things U DONT wanna hear over a Star Destroyer intercom

[Sol Walker]

Cont.

Intercom: Sorry, I mean the most incompetent 15% of the Officers..  

[Darkened Angel]

Officer: Captain, we're being hailed.
Captain: Ignore the transmission. I've already heard.
Officer: Heard what, Sir?
Captain: ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD! THE BIRD IS THE WORD!  

[Rendin Verta]

"We're back with Howard Stern. Today, we're interviewing The one and only Emperor!"  

[Valkore Fraust]

Rebel spy: Alright... downloaded the Death Star information...

Stormtroopers: question ..... exclaim

Rebel Spy: Good thing my ship is the only TIE Interceptor in the hangar.

Stormtroopers: ..... idea  

[Rendin Verta]

"Oh, commander. I never knew you were this wild!"

*strange noises*

"Uh...sir...you've got your hand on the intercom."

"... eek ... mad ... stressed ..."  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: We are about to conduct a test on the most effective and annoying sonic disruptions. Repeat, this is only a test. Initiating in 3... 2... 1... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!  

[PaulTheWolf5575]

Intercom: Congratulations crew! After that hardfought battle we've pulled a nice cushy escort job. Helm, set course for the third moon of Endor.  

[Wind Spirit22]

Intercom: Attention everyone! We have all been layed off, and this ship has been decomishined. In order to be more efficient, the empire has decided to load us all onto this ship, and set a course for the center of a star. We will be arriving at our destination in aproximatley 10 minutes. Have a nice day.  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: Attention Imperial infidels. We have control of your vessel. You are all about to be sacrificed in the name of the Tusken Raiders. FOR BANTHA!  

[ElladanKenet]

Vader- So, why did the engines fail, Admiral Ozzel?

Ozzel- Sir, it seems that we ran into a flock of mynocks.

Vader- ... Admiral Ozzel came out of hypserspace too close to the system...  

[Flaming Tsunami]

Intercom: Attention all personel; we have been given a new assignment. We are to report to serve as the second test of the Death Star's superweapon.  

[Aanika_Phaeton]

Intercom: TK-421? Paging TK-421... *grumbles* Godammit....he's never at his post... I can't deal with this anymore! He's got to be transferred back to the Death Star...  

[ElladanKenet]

Recruiter: We decided to lower the standards of new recruits. Well trained clones are expensive, so instead we're hiring scrawny farmboys incapable of seeing through their helmet. Estimated improvement is an impressive -276%.  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: To help with morale, please enjoy this in-flight music while we head to our next destination.

* button click *

Intercom: In a town where I was born, lived a man on Tatooine. We all glassed his dumb planet, in a yellow ISD. We all live in a yellow ISD, a yellow ISD, a yellow ISD. We all live in a yellow ISD, a yellow ISD, a yellow ISD.  

[Siobahn Telrunya]

Intercom: Please be advised, that due to an influx of new recruits, you will all be sharing your bunks from now now.